StarRomped

By Jaide Fox

After her adventures through the galaxy, Cole is ready to return to earth and her old life. If only that idiot Kerel could’ve landed them on Earth without incident. Unfortunately, Kerel can’t resist being a daredevil and ruining their ship, landing them smack in the middle of a steaming pile of doodoo Cole likes to call the Troglydons. Worse, the big red lugs manage to capture her (again) and sell her at auction as a sex slave. As if she’d ever let any of these stinking aliens put their mitts on her.

To Hauk, Cole is a royal pain in his butt, and he’s glad she’s gone. He doesn’t want to admit that the kiss they shared the one time when she tried to claw his face off sparked a raging lust to possess not only her body, but her heart. So what if he’s a sucker for punishment? He’s too smart to admit to her that she’s gotten under his skin. If only Kerel’s dumb butt could’ve gotten her home in one piece, he could have had his peace from temptation! Now Hauk is stuck with the job of rescuing the last woman in the galaxy he ever wanted to lay eyes on again.

Rating: Short Novel—41,000+ words. Contains highly detailed love scenes and sensual encounters as well as hilarity, mistaken identity, aphrodisiacs, aliens, and an alpha hero who’s just as big a pain in the neck as his woman. The galaxy may never be the same after these two go head to head. Previously released under the title Intergalactic Pain in the *ss. Contains an excerpt from an upcoming futuristic romance, Primal Eden.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Jaide Fox
• Release date: May 26, 2014
• ISBN: 9781311614346

Book preview

Interstellar Mayhem Book Two:

STARROMPED

Jaide Fox

Smashwords Edition

Copyright by Jaide Fox 2014

Reissued May 2014

Original copyright March 2004, Jaide Fox

Cover art by Eliza Black, copyright May 2014

This is a work of fiction. All characters, events, and places are of the author’s imagination and not to be confused with fact. Any resemblance to living persons or events is merely coincidence.

Chapter One

Space...the final frontier.

And it looked just about as appealing too. Blackness here. Blackness over there. A few stars sprinkled in like grains of salt. Colette Marshall stared out the front view port of the space rocket and released a heavy breath.

She was bored.

I wish you’d get out of the way. You’re blocking my view, came the irritated voice of Kerel Cadao behind her. She didn’t even have to look to know he was frowning at her. He had been ever since they’d taken off from Tanji, the capital city of Vulkahn. It was iffy who she disliked more—him or his cousin, Hauk. On the other hand, she could aggravate the hell out of Kerel and have some enjoyment.

Cole turned around with a do-you-mind? look, planted one hand on her ass and said, My butt isn’t that big. Besides, –she shrugged, looking out at the window for emphasis before turning back— there’s nothing to see anyway.

Kerel grunted and continued glaring at her until she moved and dropped into the copilot seat of the space ship.

I don’t know why you don’t just let Bunny take over. Of course, Bunny didn’t seem like the most capable entity aboard for flying—what insane alien had named a computer Bunny?--but Kerel was getting on her nerves with all his stunt flying and speeding.

Kerel grunted again. He did that a lot.

Kerel Cadao was the ‘lucky’ S.O.B. who’d picked the shortest straw and had to take her home, back to Earth. She just wished they’d taken a faster ship than this pile of junk.

Of course, when they’d taken off, it had been a lot nicer. A few scrapes with asteroids and running at speeds above and beyond recommended levels hadn’t improved its condition. It clattered in protest from time to time, and though she’d always considered that she had nerves of steel, her nerves were really wearing thin on this trip. She expected any moment for the annoying computer to announce that they had three minutes to live because all the oxygen had leaked out.

Really, being royalty and whatnot, she would’ve thought he’d have the best of everything. What she strongly suspected though, was that that jerkwad Hauk Desal--Kerel’s cousin of all things--had given them this ship only to irritate her. It seemed the man lived only to torment her. He was the whole reason she’d gotten into this crap to start with any way. It still irked her that he was the first perp that had managed to thwart all her efforts at subduing him and managed to kidnap her from Earth.

She slanted a look at Kerel, who was frowning down at the controls. He looked enough like Hauk to thoroughly irritate her just by looking at him. If the guys at home knew how foul her disposition had gotten, she knew what they’d say—she needed a good screw to get the stick out of her ass.

Men were such assholes.

Cole glared at Kerel.

Honey, Bunny addressed Kerel in a purring, sex kitten voice. Hyperocity engines have failed. Switching to auxiliary.

Kerel looked up at the intercom unit, surprise etched across his face. What the hell? What did you do, Bunny?

There is a blockage in the fluid lines, Bunny murmured flirtatiously. Cole could practically imagine the computer batting her lashes.

Kerel scowled. Bunny, stop it. This is serious. Can it be fixed with the engines running?

Bunny didn’t answer.

Bunny? Kerel cursed for a few minutes before collecting himself enough he didn’t growl when he talked. I should kick Hauk’s ass for putting a personality enhancement program in the ship. Okay, I’m sorry, Bunny. Did I hurt your feelings?

Cole snorted.

Kerel glared at her.

Yes, but you can make it up to me later, Bunny said.

Cole arched a brow at Kerel. He ignored her smirk and said, Can the lines be fixed with the engines running?

No. Immobility is required to access the blockage. Hyperocity fluids are low. Warning! Coolant systems malfunctioning. Decreasing speed.

The ship shuddered like a toy in a toddler’s hand. Cole’s teeth chattered with the movement. Kerel looked mildly alarmed. Cole would’ve thought it funny if she hadn’t been so concerned herself.

This is bad, isn’t it? she asked, her voice wavering with the bumpy ride.

We’re screwed. Damn Hauk and his little jokes! This ship was supposed to be in top running condition.

It was until you engaged hyperocity above recommended levels, Honey, Bunny pointed out.

Shut up, Bunny. I know what I’m doing.

Of course you do, Honey.

Kerel glared at the intercom.

We’re not going to die, are we? Cole asked.

Kerel rolled his eyes, seeking patience. No one is going to die but Bunny if she doesn’t get us out of this shit. Damn computers. Bunny isn’t good for anything but sex.

Huh?

Kerel turned red. Uh...nothing. I said she’s not good for anything.

Well, what do you want to do? Cole asked, suppressing a grin at his lie. What about Zampi? she added as the thought occurred to her. She’d been checking the maps almost from the time they’d left the Nebulosium Galaxy, trying to figure out how long it would take to get home—interspersing her research with annoying questions to Kerel like: are we there yet?

Kerel held his chin with one hand, frowning in concentration down at the controls. We’re not supposed to go there. Tor and Hauk forbid it after that shit you and Samantha got in to last time.

That wasn’t her fault and he knew it. How the hell was she and Samantha supposed to know that they’d get kidnapped by more aliens? Really, aliens didn’t seem to have anything better to do than running around abducting women?

Cole chose to ignore his last comment. It was just a suggestion.

Uh huh.

Cole glared at him. "Do you always do what you’re told? Besides, I don’t really relish the idea of spending any more time with you than I have to. I’m ready to go home. Now. At any rate, is there even another option besides stopping there?"

Cole got up and waved an arm at the front view port to emphasize her point. I don’t see any gas stations we can walk to. And you know the escape pod isn’t good for anything but floating in space and waiting for someone to come rescue you, or plow through your pod.

Kerel groaned, seeming to recognize that he’d get no peace stuck with her in the middle of nowhere, and that they really didn’t have any other option but to limp to the closest port...and that was Zampi. She didn’t like it any better than he did, but she wasn’t going to waste the opportunity either.

Kerel fiddled with the controls and looked a long time at a computer screen that scrolled the weird Vulkahn language as if trying to make up his mind. He looked up at her after a few minutes. All right. I guess we could limp there. It’s not too far. You have to promise to behave yourself though. I’m going to be keeping an eye on you.

Whatever you say, she said. As if any man could keep up with her, especially Kerel. She tried very hard not to grin evilly, but a small smile slipped out. He gave her a suspicious look but faced the controls and set the heading for Zampi.

Smart man. Maybe he wasn’t a dumb blond after all?

Cole felt like rubbing her hands together. Knowing it was a dumb move to go back there couldn’t change her excitement--she was looking forward to this. She just wished the boys at the police station back home could see her in action--they’d been dumb enough to put her on desk duty of all things! And all because of one little mistake! The sexist jerks. Men were always afraid of a woman with skills.

It wasn’t that she was an idiot, ready to rush headlong into battle with a half a dozen giants. She knew her limits, and more than one was more than she could handle. In point of fact, since she’d been abducted she’d been working harder than ever on her training. She’d even learned how to use a few Vulkahn weapons and half ass fly a ship.

She didn’t see the harm in pointing it out to Kerel that Zampi was the only option since they had to go there anyway, even if they weren’t supposed to go there. Besides all that, she was really annoyed that as a cop, she’d been rendered pretty much without power and considered a nuisance more than any type of threat or worthy of even the most grudging respect.

She wasn’t sure she could do anything, or if she even dared, but she wanted to check out the lay of the land, so to speak. If nothing else, a good bar fight would improve her spirits. She felt pretty certain Kerel could guard her back in a fight. He could use an experience like that, the baby. This time, she was going to be the one kicking ass and taking names. The troglydons had no idea what they were in for.

It was time for a little payback.

* * * *

They’d barely limped into port when the ship gave out. It choked and dropped to the docking space like a tired old man collapsing into his LazyBoy recliner.

That tears it. Guess we’ll be here a while, Kerel said as he unbuckled from his seat and got up. He stretched as he walked out of the cockpit. Cole sauntered behind him, following to the exit ramp.

Well, I’ll go inside and check things out while you take care of business out here. Meet you inside!

He stopped in his tracks and whirled on his heel, facing her. No!

Cole stopped just in time to keep from breaking her nose on his chest. She peered up at him. What? she asked innocently.

You know what.

She laughed, shaking her head. You’re worried about me, aren’t you?

I am not! he said sulkily.

Cole grinned. Yes, you are. She sidled against him, batting her lashes. He reacted as if she’d burned him and stumbled back, nearly falling to get away from her.

And here I thought you didn’t care.

No, Cole. You can’t go inside, he said emphatically, crossing his arms over his chest and blocking her path on the ramp. It’s out of the question. Don’t even think about it. Don’t even look at it.

Cole tried to edge around him, but he wasn’t going for it. She sighed in exasperation. Look, I can’t stand being in this cramped little ship any longer. It wasn’t like she was going to try anything...not right now. In fact, she wasn’t going to do anything until she was certain Kerel would be there to protect her ass, just on the off-chance that she needed his help. She wasn’t brainless.

Besides which, having the ship out of commission pretty much nullified any illusions of grandeur. She wasn’t about to try something brave and stupid without a route of escape. It never hurt to be prepared for the worst. And she was a girl who liked to be prepared for any eventuality.

Kerel said nothing. Even batting her lashes wasn’t working on him.

Look, do you really want me under your ass while you get these repairs done? She narrowed her eyes at him. I can be more irritating than you’ll ever realize.

She could tell his willpower was wavering from the glazed look in his eyes. Whiny voices and ultimatums did that to men.

He threw up his hands. All right. Just stop it. My head is going to explode. I’m taking you to the games room. You are not to leave it until I come and get you. Understand?

Of course. I’ve got a translator on, I’m not dumb, you know. You don’t have to spell it out for me or yell. I’ll behave--promise.

Kerel gave her a long, doubting look, but he finally turned around and led the way down the ramp and inside.