Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

Only $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

The Normal One: Life with a Difficult or Damaged Sibling
The Normal One: Life with a Difficult or Damaged Sibling
The Normal One: Life with a Difficult or Damaged Sibling
Ebook214 pages3 hours

The Normal One: Life with a Difficult or Damaged Sibling

Rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars

4.5/5

()

Read preview

About this ebook

In the first book of its kind, renowned psychotherapist Jeanne Safer examines the hidden trauma of growing up with an emotionally troubled or physically disabled sibling, and helps adult "normal" siblings resolve their childhood pain.

For too long the therapeutic community has focused on the parent-child relationship as the primary relationship in a child's life. In The Normal One, Dr. Safer shows that sisters and brothers are just as important as parents, and she illuminates for the first time the experience of being "the normal one."

Drawing on more than sixty interviews with normal, or intact, siblings, Safer explores the daunting challenges they face, and probes the complex feelings that can strain families and damage lives. A “normal” sibling herself, Safer chronicles her own life-shaping experiences with her troubled brother. She examines the double-edged reality of normal ones: how they both compensate for their siblings’ abnormality and feel guilty for their own health and success. With both wisdom and empathy, she delineates the “Caliban Syndrome,” a set of personality traits characteristic of higher-functioning siblings: premature maturity, compulsion to achieve, survivor guilt, and fear of contagion.
Essential reading for normal ones and those who love them, this landmark work offers readers insight, compassion, and tools to help resolve childhood pain. It is a profound and eye-opening examination of a subject that has too long been shrouded in darkness.
LanguageEnglish
PublisherFree Press
Release dateSep 17, 2002
ISBN9780743234160
The Normal One: Life with a Difficult or Damaged Sibling
Author

Jeanne Safer

Jeanne Safer, PhD, is an author and American psychotherapist. She has written articles for The Wall Street Journal, Utne Reader, Self, New Woman, and other publications. Safer lives in Manhattan with her husband, Richard Brookhiser, a journalist and historian. They also have a home in Ulster County in the Catskills.

Related to The Normal One

Related ebooks

Self-Improvement For You

View More

Related articles

Reviews for The Normal One

Rating: 4.499999900000001 out of 5 stars
4.5/5

5 ratings0 reviews

What did you think?

Tap to rate

Review must be at least 10 words

    Book preview

    The Normal One - Jeanne Safer

    ۋabook_preview_excerpt.html[MFr+u#7HG+Z Bw(tye{YŇr@2+<=ipx€7K=8TOߔo^꯯߼Wz^W/}R|>U;?4O;'O'+_]\wvP*e}{7M.s冦jBc ǩ/suϓ8ǡo*q>VnqsKՅxpЏ) w:K ww7/ 0eX5:@w#ViCH;[\tXOnF1j4R 4y,2C9TR5>EWJRx!vWxn *v 1qZq.PtxpCz: v2j?I{g~4r3T~j~*ֵK09;vicP aWc7ϝT?@ngxyw6K7*l:Coϱ7ǸU/JDZC Aa89S&; DX۹ AWo>Ilw-Cs6-OwqJpVz 2Soyit9ia_Pꏗ!=L+MM5N>e֛qWGş|[xE_䥰z1`;Iv @+[3sW pM ;*0?O1 mpFpN)]|?fp amU4H*bmgjD?U0W!]hWPŖIj }+&lINXġLw!Q&xޖѠ8X)뒞UP:ʷ-Oc]ۇb:uV )K~ }!Z>BeP܇DCe,~7bMpڂ®BO_>uSG VIG'(.A`y3x$@*@&^tcwU82Q !oywl N~\ EJ^ojL ڏy5Xi@PF<+nR,Ikw6.Fi9~򚲄 t~1&N % 2F{R 1,GHؑWjA\tA̎k|LgH |ѬUGȿ/)%tsPnȚxV/mn:çD(ґ{#yS/lDYIJq%Lk-|Ja0GGe܆d VY 6.fu5ɅbcQMDkʓ{Àcj-9-%1k'}CSbf`0NQ!}Vy3)>x3rb*ءWFp26BNDs,z 9 9UNQG uwV-r$?}ӯHn0ՀR3pBa1kVK.6tנpwmNdMkb[ h5deB}!V#v.e9VB8]&s!#J^7fLVX'uΚjdTADα#zڡj\܂-Ii%3MfyS1*]榰rr?`fC%'7 Z -B,<t3-IvS⠚΍9LFu{H H m[2Ј+a?D7KB8MT!jPB$d8Ґ6b9rggSGB\-3NN AY+_J,cc KYԸA-ªHnK (:[+;!oR`80)뼧-DkluDkUy Hnzg"2&u}bMdVE 7Yj@g<~w"aۓ'e-}LirWj+4*&~! 4S(iQ0SZ1:U:Q[_J"C#A.wph62b˪ʉtŃk+Q73Ys-E%R{* MM?2م+ɯCOBLeS@4^qsTHMӿFg0+8DgWg{_>@":,791C! ʟ*bHxԒIetG J7[}҂#ryo14Ƃ8s\+jdOc%*7ZIK"+$Grt\O/u,pd8@3Y*f:-'ߪ@ REr-YPvq}RN1[У9_EZw8p))3 3'gYW!w)!Ԇ9Gr$|DUFsݺ_8K:bEZ&\*\czc9N[Y#ې4wև#4J% {$!KzF\Bn3/{ivW Yc LquHzA|^C=iu2#_VNGr?y?D?`_>qцOnRX֗"Cj+[\VWIs՛~xNS_PŮGF0z *%8|[XZd X#}#S%.5r5>O_dFl ޚ_4qcAR ժw^;# x]VOQ6KpjS slDDBGh]NIA\jg>uq{hmӨV7d+/g{mʵ8=X ]U!WkݕC8z/CXd.XΰBr)|cQ L[OKSFr`ܘ-1dޘ2Lי4 d6xdgښ ԩn5TYk鳹!z}|1 K%d]5xnKxk֭6qr]KP e;SP1.斍`%YS.#:ZFC$XV+Bpr ɳ#hӴʝVy S%esZ籑hKW߉IbFtG3ـ>&D.7h՟?t6i8dop͉)'f{ؔ`3 <^{*Lq]rd%NU>Ίj U974] 2fv+0ʵ_hQ˥8鑋jټU s.jR3˻`aro_kc~}#=}@joT?3ka;[밫C1 _fAM9-'w wwf'Bۓ %k[Ի;iiTK#2ɳA>u/2NKheB0ţG,c61=]Z2J[ dL{ۘT^Ӭ &dyFB-{PJԉbΒDZDzAیl6ʿROP!ĔYJ+k^waDI)F|a<s?Al1n%y"]O62*LUN!>,"/KWN*.86m1 w@eN̶/Wk}U:q(`KT1!=\my)s.\nHy+R Q)s{rH?ML02z)@ڐ?܁c݋hEŏfI <|BۣhGt 4s5z0TT*+FUk:V;Z!+GVZW]V[v,Iyp@:t=zBѯj2ۚ1G`pOa1WxHR6Iy,A4NTi:pgC:9kୢ$ep[Y4ieiXڡXu-"վ,/KQN}SFn/8y@F<@8{ ߊ##SVTZM,w8t&si2Uqi=BwֹdXAF6_abc67D9!gA|/hՈy"l=9;XU96JsU:'?.6[@'gJ JVG-4ɜx,pR1|" /V頻RZK>JR;: 3Qmfnh,,єu4#ZuPm%]ܤA  qe@5H ҞT#CQRRt52V_ni ĭ_fihSӼƎt~!s (@^B1o=,,F^bN?++N Y,{"H}gi3)[`%цܧNYQ_!Dqɖs.m򥌄SdYQs!{Vϼ {Ug|[^E~G%IM K+5XF^ \PE52ذlNu,lh'TԋHl_°!؝eXPF.Wj AYU:Hϳ~φT[=fQ*ɖT72Rwur]0V̉66;I>'Nlq1VstȔ6^ -%85 e܄ (8ƫw k6WM 6n 9argFdjH_ z O' cZ?YTl:5},Kzn4 È"G$Ee5\Es]ȯ5Ƌ[}3o.e.0,9YPA>{+"O6N`,,6,0[9Ƃl5DV2VR~6X?bOiXjrv>N:Ȗ= -6][2u5.p#`N`Eh#?.+GǵJte#G&mдU.dmH޼~Tm4+8%މ50dB
    Enjoying the preview?
    Page 1 of 1