Modern Fairy Tales for the Fairy Tale Jaded

By Suzanne Struthers

Present day fairy tales with a twist...

What do a mermaid, a centaur, a phoenix and a fairy have in common?

Absolutely nothing except that each are featured in a story of this book and each have to deal with a rather incredulous love interest as their greatest hope.

Like the self-proclaimed geek and pop-culture loving Dane who's a bit flummoxed to find out that the love of his life has a tail, complete with scales, and enjoys a swim or two here and there.

Or the practical Chloe who's more convinced she's hallucinating than seeing an actual centaur. Poor Max has his work cut out for him to get through that level of denial.

Or the phoenix, Chuck, who shares a penchant for witty repartee with his human, Sasha. Birds of a feather...

And lastly but certainly not least, the fairy, Fallon, who's tall for his species, thank you kindly (his human, Julie, makes the mistake of calling him 'tiny').

Welcome to the "Modern Day Fairy Tales for the Fairy Tale Jaded", where fantasy and sarcasm collide

• Language: English
• Publisher: Suzanne Struthers
• Release date: Feb 28, 2014
• ISBN: 9781311128003

Suzanne Struthers

Suzanne Struthers is a 30-something wife and mother and full-time cubicle dweller (office employee). Reading and writing has always been her passion, in fact, so much so that she decided to take the plunge into the great adventure of authoring with the release of her first booklet "Weight Loss for the Busy and Broke" (a booklet which covers two topics she has become extraordinarily proficient at the past decade or so: being frugal due to the constraints of a limited income and dieting). In addition to "Weight Loss for the Busy and Broke" she has more nonfiction and fiction books planned.She enjoys the science fiction/fantasy genres, peanut butter frozen yogurt, has a wee bit of an addiction to her morning cup of coffee and lives in San Diego, California with her wonderful, beautiful, too-smart-for-her-own-good daughter and her outnumbered-by-the-estrogen-brigade thus tolerant husband.

Book preview

Modern Fairy Tales for the Fairy Tale Jaded

Suzanne Struthers

Copyright © 2014 Suzanne Struthers

All rights reserved.

Published at Smashwords

DEDICATION

To my wonderful daughter Savannah. You’re too young to read this (and get most of the jokes), but your vibrant spirit and imagination definitely inspired it.

Long may your imagination run free.

Forward

To my wonderful readers:

I am the proud mother of a bright and imaginative young daughter. As you can imagine this means fairy tales are a daily part of out our household – my daughter loves them (particularly the Disney incarnations). Unfortunately (for me) I have a hard time reading them without rolling my eyes a bit, internally anyway, though I do my best not to display my moral dilemma in front of her – I'm just thrilled she's taken an interest in reading!

It's just, the 'princesses' get walked on a lot and don't seem to assert themselves very much (raise your hand if you've always thought Cinderella should have a very stern conversation with a certain stepmother and stepsisters? Just saying). The 'prince' is always the one to save the day (I won't say the word 'patriarchal', but I'm thinking it). And when he did he was always this stereotypical white knight: handsome, brash and bold. In addition, the mystical and magical are usually accepted with nary a blinked eye.

It got me thinking... how would an everyday Joe or Joanna react if someone, or rather something, extraordinary and magical entered their life, particularly in these modern times of instant information? What if the 'white knight' was a bit of a self-proclaimed geek? What if some 'damsels' were actually the ones to save the day? And what if every protagonist, male and female alike, were allowed a side of sass in their interactions, because who wouldn't be sarcastic when finding a centaur Casanova in their barn? Thus the Modern Day Fairy Tales for the Fairy Tale Jaded were born.

It is my fondest hope that you enjoy reading them as much as I've enjoyed writing them.

All the best,

Suzanne Struthers

Table of Contents

Story 1:

The Mermaid's Tale

Story 2:

There's a Centaur in my Barn

Story 3:

The Curse of the Phoenix

Story 4:

Date with a Fairy

The Mermaid's Tale

The one with the mermaid

It was terribly cliché, but the first time Dane saw her, his breath caught.

Of course, that could have something to do with the fact that it was windy as hell on the beach of Santa Cruz, California – made it hard to breath.

In all honesty, he felt a bit put out. He'd taken the job in California under the pretense that it would be warmer pastures. All babes in bikinis, Beach Boys music and smoothie stands. Instead it was...nippy. He was pretty sure that he was one of the few people in his 'child-of-the-eighties' age demographic who knew who the Beach Boys were, and if any chick was wearing a bikini in March in these temperatures, he'd seriously question her sanity... but the smoothie thing, at least, was entirely true.

Still, cold or not, the beaches were beautiful. And he'd always been fascinated by the ocean, always. It was the Trekkie in him. The last unexplored region of space here on Earth – the oceans. Their depths holding mysteries yet to be discovered.

Plus, the rise and fall of water, the dulcet sounds of the surf, even that distinctly Californian scent of salt and kelp, all had a soothing effect on him. Cheaper than therapy anyway, and at the price he was now paying for rent, any savings was appreciated.

So it was fitting that the shore was where he first saw her: tranquil ambiance for tranquil beauty. She had long hair, dark blonde and shining like warm gold in the orange sunset. More than that she looked like she'd be a lot of fun as she joyfully kicked up sand, and twirled along the surf, as graceful as a ballerina, flip flops dangling from one hand, the other holding back that errant, spectacular hair from the wind.

Well, they did call California the Golden State. Clearly this lady must be the reason why, and if Dane wasn't such a coward, he'd totally talk to her. The only problem being his track record at effectively communicating with women, or human beings at all, for that matter, enough to engage them...wasn't exactly stellar.

Most people, as surprising as Dane still found it, weren't all that interested in a guy who would calculate and spout percentages off the top of his head, nor the interesting wealth of knowledge he'd accumulated through a childhood of only having access to National Geographics to read, as his parents had distinctly sadistic views on child-rearing. They had been the kind that had been convinced that television corrupted young minds, as did movies, video games, and anything remotely fun whatsoever, all of which had been banned from their house.

Dane knew better. Television helped kids bond over a shared passion. Walk into a room and share the mating drive of the praying mantis, and people tended to walk, rather briskly, the other way. Walk into a room and talk Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Walking Dead and suddenly everyone had input to add.

The problem? Not seeing these things until he was an adult gave him little practice at relating to people during his formative years, when such skills should have developed... at least that was what he told his parents every other phone call when they called to ask why he hadn't given them grandchildren yet and he responded with his usual, Well that's your fault, now isn't it? You're lucky I don't drag your asses to Dr. Phil so I can sit on a couch and regale the tale of just how horrid my childhood was.

Not that his threats had any effect as they usually snorted, gave a reference to something called self-accountability and called him again later that week to go through the entire script again.

Maybe he should go up to the girl and ask her what she thought of Buffy?

Either way, the decision was taken out of his hands when his cell phone rang, piercing the serene dusk with its artificial wail. He'd looked away one second to dig the thing out of his pocket, it couldn't have been any longer than that, only to look up again to find the woman had disappeared with nary a glint of gold left in sight.

Holy crap. Maybe he needed to lay off drinking the past-expiration milk. As well as those paranormal exploration shows with the annoying hosts on the travel channel.

Did he imagine her?

Reviews for Modern Fairy Tales for the Fairy Tale Jaded

[BURIBE · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

The ideas are interesting, but the dialogue is a little weak. If you want a quick, light read, this the right book.