Lost In Time: Mirage

By Karen Barkan

Lost In Time – Mirage,is a triangle love story that transports the readers to adventurous intriguing and dangerous world.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Karen Barkan
• Release date: Jul 25, 2011
• ISBN: 9781466003095

Karen Barkan

My name is Karen Barkan - born and raised in a place surrounded by a wild mysterious desert, which had been an imagination fertilizer and a perfect inspiration for my writing. In 2006 I relocated to NJ and although I was breathing and living the desert my whole life, I got completely hooked by the green scenery of NJ, fell in love with the culture, and my heart was completely captured by the people here.So...besides writing and reading, I play the guitar, the piano...and I so want to add Sax, but not yet.My favorite sport is ski and roller hockey, and I’m also a big fan of the Flyers!I hold a Bachelor degree in education and Master degree in Human Resource Management.Did I mention I have spent my last 10 years in analyzing corporates information systems? But being an author in the past year, and writing “Lost In Time – Mirage” was the greatest adventure I have ever had, and it is my pleasure to share it with my readers.I hope you would enjoy Lost In Time – Mirage as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Book preview

LOST IN TIME - Mirage

By Karen Barkan

Copyright © Karen Barkan 2011

Published at Smashwords

1. Illusion

The sound of the ringing phone woke me. I searched for it. It must be somewhere under the blanket. 

     I was thinking about you.  His voice was serious.

  Hey, I sighed. You woke me.

     But that is not the reason I called, he said.

     I was still sleepy and too tired to be curious. Mm… I muttered.

     Meet me at Eastern High School at noon, he said.

     That sounds almost like an order. Besides, it’s Sunday! I said and yawned into the phone, but he ignored my comment.

     Danielle, I’ve never been more serious.  Please do as I ask.

     I made a slight effort, and sat up in bed. What …?  I was rendered speechless by my surrounding; the room was a mess. I was completely awake now, and trying to understand.

     Is everything ok? His voice sounded far.

     My room, I said.  I don’t remember leaving it like this when I came back from Ocean City. 

     Get out.  Now! he said.

     Get out? Why? Where to?! I asked, confused.

     It seemed like someone had been here, looking through my personal things.  The hum of a dead line filled the phone.

     Hello? 

     There was no answer. Why would he hang up on me while trying to warn me? What is going on? I stepped into my jeans and grabbed a long sleeve shirt. One glance out the window was enough to guess that a storm was coming soon.

     I sat on the floor to tie my shoes. Suddenly, I felt a strong wind. It was as if the storm was actually in my room; it wrapped around me like a whirlpool. I looked at the window - it was closed. I covered my face with my hands; now I could barely see anything, but I could feel his presence. My feet were too weak to fight the pressure, and I couldn’t stand up. I tried to grab the chair, but it became blurred and I couldn’t reach it. I was determined to save myself, although I didn’t know what from. I couldn’t feel any fear; on the contrary, adrenaline filled my body with euphoria, and I anticipated something divine happening, something that would sweep me off my feet, and shake me from the enormous boredom of Voorhees.

     My body was no longer under my control. It felt as if a powerful incomprehensible force was tossing me about. I believed that only the man I was craving so much could be strong enough to resist this incredible force. I was pulled into a dark whirlwind, and only then did I feel the fear of being completely helpless.

     The next thing I remember is waking up under a pine tree. I could feel a hand gently petting my hair, and a voice whispering to me, Danielle, wake up. It was his voice again. I was lying on his lap, and tried to sit up, but my dizziness knocked me down instantly. I had never felt so heavy.  A horrible stomach cramp made me roll to the other side of the tree to avoid what would potentially be the most embarrassing moment of my life: vomiting on the guy I cared for so much. I couldn’t breathe for a moment, and desperately searched for my inhaler.

     Where the hell am I? I asked nervously.

     He tried to help, but I pushed him away.

     You’re ok! he said smiling, but surprised.

     I looked at him suspiciously. You’re too cheerful for me at the moment.

     You don’t understand, he insisted, handing me a piece of newspaper.

     I sat on the ground, holding my stomach. The date on the newspaper kept my breath frozen for a whole minute. It read September 26, 2031.

     How? I asked.

     You were in great danger. I had to get you out of there, and I couldn’t think of any other way. I had a couple of minutes to slide somewhere, slide back to you, and pull you out with me. 

     I looked around, trying to recognize the place. Where are we?

     In your back yard, he said, trying to avoid eye contact.

     My heart was beating too fast. Could it be? Didn’t I want to be overwhelmed by an unnatural force that would sweep me off my feet, and save me from the boredom of Voorhees?  I was indeed overwhelmed – shocked, actually. My house wasn’t there, and my swimming pool was probably buried under the ground on which we sat.

       I remember this pine tree, I said. What happened to our house? Where is the swimming pool? Are we...? I stopped. I wasn’t sure I could bear the thought… or to hear his answer.

     He came closer. I could feel his breath on my skin; it was so familiar, like I had longed for it, like I had longed for his touch, his smell.  He pointed to the path behind us, but all I could notice was him. How transparent he became then, how vulnerable. I reached for his hand and wrapped it in mine. His face was sad.  I could see the wrinkles spreading all over his forehead. He was trying to say something, but at the same time he was fading away like an old picture. I reached to touch his lips.

     Don’t go, I whispered. Don’t leave me here by myself.

     His hands disappeared, and I knelt down to grab his legs.

     Please, I begged.

2. Summer Vacation

It was one of the hottest days of the season. I lay on the bank of the lake, basking in the warmth of the sun. The soft breeze caressed my body and flowed through my hair. Summer had shown up suddenly, without warning, and surprised us with its intensity. The heat was unbearable. It was as if New Jersey was aflame. The shrieking alarm of the fire station near our house kept waking me up every night and every morning. I no longer needed my own alarm clock. It seemed like people didn’t mind; even my neighbors, whom I hadn’t seen for years - they were walking down the street. Yes, they left their house, and bravely took more than five steps toward the end of the street…letting their muscles defrost after a long cold winter. They seemed happier than ever that signs of summer were beginning to show. Yes, the people in Voorhees were smiling at the sun, and preparing to welcome summer with open arms.

     I was just one of these people, nobody special…just a seventeen year old girl, extremely excited about my upcoming birthday present, a family summer vacation in Israel. 

     This time, Vic, my older brother would not join us. He and his girlfriend were going to stay in their small apartment in New Jersey. Vic had already visited Israel when he was sixteen years old with a group arranged by one of the synagogues in the area. As for me, it was my first time. Most of my family lived in Israel, so I’d heard lots of stories about it. However, I had never met some of my Israeli relatives, and I was looking forward to this great opportunity. Dad promised that my next birthday would be spent in Italy, but I had an inexplicable hunch that the Israel trip would be engraved in my memory forever, and Italy would be forgotten as quickly as it was mentioned.

     I sensed a new beginning. I could feel a sweet adventure in the air. The instant appearance of the summer, as powerful as it was, just intensified this feeling. I couldn't wait to start the vacation.

     Dipping my legs into the cool lake, the water tickled the edge of my toes for another hour.  I had to say goodbye to the pastoral scene around me, and disappear into the tangled forests of New Jersey, which led me straight to my house. It was time to pack my things and say goodbye to my best friends. 

***

     Natasha, Ariel, Ali and I were sitting on my bed, going on about the coming summer vacation. Natasha talked about the summer job at her mom’s labs in Moorestown.  Ali and Ariel were talking about their summer jobs as counselors’ assistants at Medford camp JCC. They sounded so excited to be able to save their own money to spend in Ocean City, coffee shops in Philadelphia and Penn University parties where Owen, Natasha’s brother used to study. They were talking about endless summer shopping… and I was almost convinced that it might actually be better to stay.

     I wouldn’t want to miss Penn University’s parties, I said with a sigh. 

     Natasha gave me a tight hug. I wish I could come with you to Israel, lie on the most beautiful beaches in the world, smell the salty blue sea, and let every inch of my body absorb the Israeli sunshine. Not to mention hang out with the coolest, best looking guys in Tel Aviv, dance at their parties, breathe and live the rhythm of the place for a few weeks. Visit every crazy, interesting place until my bones are too tired to carry me! I'm the one who should be jealous, she said.

     I agree with the guys part, said Ariel.

     Hmm... Ali cleared her throat. There is an exception, girls, she said as if she had been personally insulted. We all laughed and had to agree that Ben was an exception, the most handsome, charming, irresistible, coolest guy in Voorhees Eastern High School.

     We stayed for another hour trying to make up for the time we'd be apart. The school year had passed so quickly, but the memories created in that room would always leave a wide smile on my face, and would probably stay with us forever.  We spent another hour laughing, gossiping and hugging the last goodbye hugs before I left.

     The thought of not seeing my best friends for the whole summer, especially Natasha who was like a sister to me, was a little sad, but at the same time I could sense the butterflies tickling my stomach. I could not wait to start packing, and get on the airplane first thing in the morning.

      Mom couldn’t stop talking the whole flight, as if she was possessed by her suppressed anxiety. This is my mom, a beautiful forty three year old, dark haired woman, who left Israel when she was twenty one years old, and moved to New Jersey on an international student exchange program. At the university she met my father who fell in love with her at first sight, and married her when they both graduated. She is the most loving mom, but she could also be the most overreacting, worried, exaggerating, hyperbolizing, and aggravating mom.

     She couldn’t stop talking about her eight sisters and her little brother who used to live in a small house on the shore at times when it was listed under government regulations, since they did not have enough money to purchase their own house. Grandfather did not rest for a day, and kept Grandma pregnant most of her married life until Mom's little brother, who was the ninth pregnancy, came into this world. They named him Ethan for bringing stability, peace and quiet to the family, after raising eight naughty unrestrained daughters.  

     He was no longer the dad who had an army of girls in the house, as the neighbors used to tease him. He became the most proud dad in the world, and no one could take it away from him. It seemed his son took his emphasis off his daughters, which was a sigh of relief to all of us, Mom explained.

     Ethan invited us to stay at his house - the one we used to live in, Mom continued, and grabbed my hand excitedly.

     I said yes! You’ll love it!  Oh…and we must visit Aunt Ayala who lives forty minutes away from Tel Aviv. We are all going to meet there, and you’ll get to know all of your cousins, and aunts, it’s going to be fun, I promise. She didn’t even pause for taking a small breath. I haven't decided yet if we're going to spend some time at my sister’s house in Rehovot, or my sister’s house in Tel Aviv.  I suppose we still have some time to decide, and change our plans during the week.

     Ramon, she said to my dad, who was sitting on my right side. Did you bring the presents I left on the high shelf at the kitchen? I hope we didn’t leave them there. Her hand covered the side of her heart as if it was about to fail. And did you remember to… She absolutely couldn't stop.

     The next sentences blurred and I could hear Mom’s voice vaguely in the background. The lights in the plane were turned off, and Dad’s head slightly knocked the window, jolting from side to side. My eyelids became heavy, and I joined the rest of the passengers falling into a deep sleep. 

     The hours passed by so slowly, and the flight attendants walked back and forth with warm smiles on their faces, as if apologizing for the long and exhausting flight in this very long pipe with four engines. I was exhausted, not to mention embarrassed by my mom’s endless conversations with half of the passengers on the flight, who already became her friends, chatting, laughing, and exchanging phone numbers.

     In the few remaining hours left, I decided to practice my Hebrew, which was getting little use at the time. I might add that I had nothing to be ashamed of, considering the fact that I spoke English most of the time. I opened my notebook and read the Hebrew aloud. A voice behind my seat corrected me; I turned around to see who it was.

     I would love to help, there’s an empty seat next to me. He had the cutest smile I have ever seen.

     I looked at Mom just to make sure it was ok, but she was already one step ahead, turning her body toward him and interrogating him vigorously as if he had just proposed.

     Mom, I hissed, this is so embarrassing. 

     I moved to the empty seat next to him.

     I’m sorry, I apologized on behalf of my mom. It’s beyond her control. 

     I could hear Mom’s sigh, and made sure she was no longer in the way.

I understand. His teeth were perfect, and his eyes were smiling as he said, My name is Jason. He looked right into my eyes.

     Danielle, I said smiling, handing him my notebook.

     He started a conversation in Hebrew, which I found very difficult to follow, not to mention embarrassing whenever I made a mistake and he had to correct me.  But, he had a gentle charming way to soften the embarrassment, a small smile with each mistake, which captured my full attention.  I thought Jason was absolutely cute, and very funny. He explained that most Israelis speak English, so I have nothing to worry about, although he added that my Hebrew was the cutest he had ever heard, because of my cute American accent.

     We practiced Hebrew for fifteen minutes, and switched to English for the next fifty, which ended with his phone number and address written on my notebook.

     Jason was an eighteen-year old good-looking guy who was born, raised and lived in Fairfield, Connecticut. He had just graduated high school and was on his way to Israel to visit his brother. His Hebrew seemed almost perfect compared to mine. His brown honey eyes matched his light brown hair. By looking at his athletic body and his thick arms, I would guess he played either hockey or football. I could definitely say that he was one of the best looking guys I had seen in the last few years, and I bet Natasha, Ariel, and Ali would completely agree on that.

     How come you hardly have an accent when you speak Hebrew, considering the fact that you were born and raised in Connecticut? I asked curiously.

     He smiled.  I was part of the international student exchange in my high school, so I lived in Israel for a year.

     How was it? I was curious, since Mom never wanted me to go on an international student exchange, or to send me by myself for summer vacations. And somehow I always had the feeling it’s not a place where she would like us to live, although she had never actually said it.

     He stared at me.  It was fun for one year. It’s different. 

     The captain’s voice interrupted our conversation, announcing that we had twenty minutes left before landing.  I could notice Mom was impatient to butt in and ask me to move back to my seat.

     I have to go back to my seat, I said as I closed my notebook. Thanks, I added, with a smile.

     Call me if you need my help, or if you just feel like hanging out - I know some great places in Tel Aviv.

     I smiled again; somehow I doubted I’d ever see him again.

     Danielle, we are landing, honey. Mom felt she should repeat what we’d already heard on the speakers.

     I moved back to my seat next to Mom, who could not hide her enormous excitement as she rechecked if Dad and I were safely buckled. She thanked Jason for the second time, and could not stop mumbling and making sure that everything was in place, and that we were all ready to land.

     I can almost smell the Israeli air, Mom said excitedly, and took my hand in hers. 

     The airplane door was opened. I could feel the hot breeze whipping my hair, then tickling my face, as if we were welcomed by a warm kiss from the Holy Land. The air was hot and thick, and by the time we arrived at the car it was almost unbearable.

     Welcome to Israel. Mom was jumpy and walked quickly. You better get used to this terrible, terrible weather, she said with a smile as she increased her pace.

     Aunt Rebecca and Aunt Esther were waiting at the arrival hall. We came under heavy attack of kisses, hugs, tears and laughter all at the same time. The meeting was exciting.

     After we all squeezed ourselves inside Esther’s car, Mom decided to stay at Uncle Ethan’s house in Tel Aviv at least for the first few days. Ethan’s house was empty during the week since he was a marine who came back home every other weekend. Mom thought it was a good idea to spend our vacation there, and furthermore, a great opportunity to spoil her little brother whom she had not seen for many years. I'd never met Ethan, but I had heard a lot about him.

     Mom kissed Esther goodbye and promised to call as soon as she settled in.

     Dad and I were standing behind Mom when she was about to open the door of Ethan’s house. Her hands trembled while she was switching the keys. And there it was, her childhood home! The house on the seashore we’d all heard so much about.

     I can smell my childhood, Mom said as she took a deep breath filling her lungs with a mixed pile of memories. I noticed a tear sliding down her cheek. She stepped forward toward the kitchen, and started to laugh and cry at the same time. Dad hugged her as if he understood. I was looking at my hysterical mom becoming so fragile all of a sudden, and it frightened me at first. But she quickly got a grip on herself, and spread her arms widely, as if she was standing on stage and about to introduce the theme of the play before it began.

     She smiled, and embraced Dad and me close to her heart. Welcome to my childhood, she said.

     I let myself in the house, and felt comfortable enough to guide myself on a small tour.  It didn’t take long, since the house was so small. It was old as well, but I could smell the salt air coming from the sea and filling every corner of the house. I entered a room on the left. A single sunbeam penetrated the rear window, and lightened the shelves in the room. From where I stood it looked like a piece of art. Getting closer I could notice the small demo soldiers almost covering the green surface of the shelves in its entirety. Some were standing behind a tree, or a bombed house. Some were lying dead, and others were waiting for a signal behind a broken wall, so they could move on to the next building. The tanks were standing on the right side waiting to fire whenever they get the signal from the commander.

     On the other shelf three huge helicopters - an Apache and two Cobras - were standing proud and shiny like a trio of peacocks. 

     I stood there fascinated by the story that this exhibition presented.  It was definitely a war scene.

     It’s a piece of art. Dad’s voice startled me from behind.

     You scared me, I said, my eyes still on the shelves.

     Well, this is Ethan’s room. I wouldn’t touch anything if I were you, he suggested.

     I looked around; the bed was covered with clean, fresh white sheets.  Everything in this room was clean and neat as if it was ready to be inspected by the commander. It was clearly a marine’s room. The walls were bare white except one small, framed trophy.

     What is that? I asked Dad.

     This is for being the best marine in the unit, I guess. I heard he’s the best at everything he does. 

     Danielle. Mom’s voice came out of the kitchen. I hated when she called out from another room. Dinner is ready, she kept calling.

     I entered the kitchen, which was two steps away from Ethan’s room.

     What is Ethan doing in the marines? I asked Mom.

     I’m not sure. You would have to ask him when he gets back. You’ll have plenty of time to get to know each other when he gets here; seven whole days. She sounded cheerful.

     While Mom and Dad were planning the weekend in the living room, all I could think about was Ethan’s room - there was nothing in there for me; however, I had an uncontrollable urge to enter the room, as if pulled by an invisible force. And although I had never met him, I could almost feel his presence. It was as if the room was full of his energy, and it tickled my toes, and flowed in my veins. It was a weird warm sparkling feeling that spread to the core of my body. What was it that made me feel like this?

     I looked around once more.  The room was empty, but it felt like I was not alone in it.  I stood there for another minute trying to touch the thick air mixed with the smell of the sea and another unique scent that I had never smelled before but was almost intoxicating. I took a deep breath and it was gone, I could smell it only for a brief moment. I lay back on Ethan's bed, looking at the white ceiling, wondering what he looked like, but before I could imagine anything, I fell into a deep, long sleep.

***

     We spent the next day at the beach just across the street. Mom prepared a basket filled with fruits, vegetables and sandwiches.

     This is amazing. I could not hold my excitement. The intensity of the enormous blue expanse of sea spread out before me took my breath away. I was speechless, and could not take my eyes off it.

     Dad was already in the water. I was dipping my legs in the white sand and sitting next to Mom.

     How could you leave this unbelievable place? I said, still amazed by the beauty.

     Mom smiled an apologetic smile, as if there were things I could not understand.    

     It’s not so simple, dear.  I could hear the sadness in her voice. I could never see how blue it was. My memories painted it in a different color, and the gray ocean in Ocean City didn’t seem different to me. A long pause followed. For the first time in her life Mom paused to take a deep breath as if she needed all the oxygen in the air to gain the strength to dive into her past.

     "Although we lived on the shore, I never felt lucky. Mom stayed home with us, and Dad was working sporadically. We were very poor, and barely had anything to eat. Mom had to become a beggar during the day when we were at school. Dad never had the sensitivity to stop for a moment, look around him, and decide that another child would be a burden we all had to deal with.  But he was stubborn as a bull and kept my mom pregnant almost every year. We were eight sisters that had been raised by a terrifying father. His friends in the neighborhood gave him an insulting nickname for being a father of so many daughters. They laughed at him for not being able to ‘produce’ a son - a male that will inherit his name, honor and dynasty. Primitive as it sounds, that’s how life was back then, in this place. My father was a frustrated man who took all his frustration and anger out on us and on Mom.

     "Whenever my dad took out his anger on one of my sisters, I used to run away to the beach, and inhale the fresh air of the sea.  I used to walk on the beach, waiting for the waves to come and wash away the pain. The waves used to whisper in my ears. Did you know that every wave has a different sound? If you concentrate and listen really carefully, you'd be able to hear the whisper of each wave. Each wave was a promise; promise that Mom will be happy, a promise to fall in love with someone who's different than my dad. A promise to have a little brother. My waves encouraged me and promised that one day everything would be ok. I felt safe here.

     "It was not easy to live with my dad. My beautiful sensitive mom became weaker every year, carrying the burden of raising and feeding eight destitute girls. Until he came -- the long-awaited boy destined to inherit a kingdom of eight sisters -- and none of us really cared about losing this so-called kingdom as long as there was peace and quiet in the house.

     "Life had been changed completely for all of us. Dad’s life had been changed. Ethan became the most important thing in his life. My sisters and I became invisible, but relieved for not having to absorb any of my dad's madness. For the first time in years he stopped getting my mom pregnant every year, and concentrated on