One Wish

By Kenneth Bradshaw

This is a fairy tale set at the time of the Spanish Armada. Rosa Rojo is escaping Spain with the help of a wizard who can see the future in walnuts and whose quest is to grant one lifetime wish to anyone who does a kindness to his family.

Rosa has earned one, but is not sure why. Along the way she meets English sailors, pirates, Devil Chickens, Hansel and Gretel, the Blue Fairy, seven dwarfs, penguins, the Snow Queen, goblins and Shakespeare.

Pandemonium ensues as history and fairy tale fiction intermingle in a race to warn the English Queen Elizabeth of the impending invasion.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Kenneth Bradshaw
• Release date: Jun 23, 2011
• ISBN: 9781458134936

Kenneth Bradshaw

I always wanted to write a sequel to Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn that brought the characters up to adulthood during the Civil War. I outlined the book years ago (titled "Tom, Huck and Jim, the War Years") as I traveled for work. But I realized after a chapter or two that there was no way I had the skill to do justice to Mark Twain, even if I had a good outline.So I started writing to hone my skills. My first book was "Dancing with Emily", which is about a teenager girl who teaches her boy friend to dance using baseball moves. It has its moments, but it is a stiff, first effort. But I found my style, which is to spoof or to be silly and tongue-in-cheek.Now I have written a fairy tale titled "One Wish". And it is hilarious. Readers say that it reminds them of Monty Python.I would like to get good enough to concentrate on writing full time. I have a sequel to One Wish buzzing in my head, tentatively titled "Second Chances or Tweedledee and the Martians". I don't think I would use that title when published. Then the title will be a facade behind which all the insanity and inanity lurks. But a working title - for me - needs to lend itself towards extreme thinking. And the thought of marrying a fairy tale, with 17th century humans and real or pretend space creatures is so ridiculous that it's making my mouth water. I'd like to work on that full time.Here is a summary of and reviews for One Wish:SummaryThis is a fairy tale (shades of Monte Python) set at the time of the Spanish Armada. Rosa Rojo is escaping Spain with the help of a wizard who can see the future in walnuts and whose quest is to grant one lifetime wish to anyone who does a kindness to his family.Rosa has earned one, but is not sure why. Along the way she meets English sailors, pirates, Devil Chickens, Hansel and Gretel, the Blue Fairy, seven dwarfs, penguins, the Snow Queen, goblins and Shakespeare.Pandemonium ensues as history and fairy tale fiction intermingle in a race to warn the English Queen Elizabeth of the impending invasion____________________________________________________________ReviewsThat is a funny story! Great job, wonderful sense of timing to the whole thing! I was reminded of Christopher Moore, which to me is a great compliment! Devil chickens and walnuts. After reading the description I knew I was in for a treat, and you did not disappoint.This story is ridiculous..but great. very Monty Pythonish. Only being 37, it really made me want to cry that she thinks 30 is old couldn't we make old 50 or older? LOLI have not chuckled and laughed so much in a long time. You take different, innocent fairy-tales and warp them up nicely.I love the Devil Chickens, especially since they talk without moving their beaks. They do sound evil.But for me it was the nuts. It works, especially since being a druid they would use natural implements, not crystal ball. And the aside about acorns: They are tough nuts to crack had me guffawing.And at the same time, you do provide some good details about the characters themselves. You just don't focus on the silly but are starting to provide flesh to them.Amazingly imaginative and well written. Charming and witty.At first blush this seems like a kid's story, but I don't think so. Who IS your intended audience? I laughed out loud at the crack about the Norman Invasion, and that's no kiddie reference. I am going to read the whole thing. This is clever and charming without being "cute". That's a tough trick.Keep going. Ken, This is the funniest thing I have ever read. Can't wait to read moreI love Rosa's name! How it goes on forever.I loved this story. It was amusing and most definitely creative. It reminded me of the silliness in Don Quixote for some strange reasonAgain, there are not enough good things I can say about this story! It has all the great elements, humor, fairytales, and wonderful dialogue...The Hansel and Gretel cracker house and the non-English fight (shades of Monty Python) had me laughing out loud, so now everyone in the office thinks I'm a nut.The silliness continues and continues well. I'm loving how you are weaving 'real' things with characters from fairy tales.The thing with Hansel and Gretel had me chortling. And the stuff with the English sailors reminded me of Monty Python.I don't know for sure if you are aiming this for a younger audience or not, but it works for someone older like myself.I also like the snappy dialogue you have. It is back and forth, but not like watching a tennis match. I am enjoying what you are weaving here.By the way, turning "Si" "Bueno" and "Adios" into a refrain like you did was simply inspired, especially in the scene where the misunderstanding turns into a fight.Alright, you have to give a disclaimer with your pieces: Do not imbibe any beverages upon reading. I actually had to put my Corona aside to finish this piece. More than once up through the nose is enough for one sitting! You keep up the completely utter silliness I am expecting. And it is not just the obvious. I was wetting myself when I read: took it upon themselves to go down to the brig where the old cook was incarcerated and weld the door shut. For me, that is what is making this work. You have the broad silliness but keep your attention to details. Well, onto the Alpine trek...

Book preview

One Wish by Kenneth Bradshaw

One Wish

Kenneth Bradshaw

Copyright 2011 by Kenneth Bradshaw

Smashwords Edition

Chapter 1 – An Escape

WHOOSH!

A flash of lightning, a cloud of smoke and the roar of thunder filled the bedchamber of Rosita Lucilla Cecilia Maria Maria Rojo-Reyes. No harm was done to Rosa, as the seventeen-year-old beauty was known. She was out on the balcony attempting an escape.

I’ve come to grant your wish, came a gruff voice, as a tall shape emerged through the smoke billowing onto the balcony.

Be quiet, hissed Rosa. Do you want to wake my father? She had one leg over the wall of the balcony. Her red skirt was hitched up to allow freedom of movement. She paused to consider the apparition before her.

It was a wizard in flowing purple robes and a tall pointed black hat with moons and stars on its sides. He had a long gray beard with a string tied in the middle. He wore leather sandals on feet that were otherwise bare and it was obvious that he needed to clip his toenails.

Squeaking wheels sounded below and Rosa looked down to see in the shadows an oxcart loaded with straw positioning itself beneath her.

Wait just a minute, requested the wizard.

But Rosa paid him no heed. She acted as if ignoring wizards was a common occurrence in her life. She swung her other leg over the wall, hung by her fingers for a moment and dropped into the straw. The cart took off into the dark at an astonishing clip.

Well done, Chevy! she said to the fifteen-year-old boy driving the cart. She crawled out of the straw and climbed onto the seat beside him. I’m glad you’re coming with me.

What’s to stay for, Senorita Rosa? I have no family and, except for sometimes working for your father, there’s nothing for me here. You do me a kindness allowing me to come.

Rosa unhitched her skirt and smoothed it out. She removed the red scarf covering her ebony tresses and raked out bits of straw with her fingers. Satisfied, she shook her curls and retied the scarf around her neck.

Just call me Rosa, she said. We’re fellow adventurers now. She paused, I hope my father will be all right. She sighed. He’s such an impractical dreamer. That’s not a good trait for a tax collector.

He’s one of the good ones. I’m sure he’ll be fine.

Why didn’t you wait? asked a voice from behind them.

Astonished, Rosa turned and looked at the odd figure sitting in the straw. The wizard’s spindly legs were sticking out on each side of his body with his knees reaching nearly to his bearded chin. His hat had fallen off and was stuck upside down in the straw, revealing the top of a head quite void of hair, except for scraggly strands of gray that hung to his shoulders from the back of his head. He had bushy eyebrows and a fair amount of hair in his ears. His robe and his beard were fluttering in the wind.

Ignoring his question, Rosa asked, Who are you and how’d you get here? Did you jump off behind me? She looked like she did not believe him capable of such a feat.

I am Llywarch Gwyther Llewellyn of Wales. No, I didn’t jump. I used magic!

You didn’t burn the cart with all that smoke and fire, did you? Rosa knew how important the cart was to Chevy.

No. It didn’t appear to impress you the first time.

Rosa was satisfied with that response, after she sniffed the air to be sure. What did you say your name was?

I’m Llywarch Gwyther Llewellyn, he repeated.

That’s an odd name, suggested Rosa.

Well, he admitted, my friends call me ‘Larry’.

Suddenly, the cart hit a rut, knocking the wizard flat on his back and almost causing Rosa to lose her seat. My goodness, Chevy! How do you make the cart go so fast?

I lowered the front wheels, Chevy grinned. The idea came to me while I was being chased by Hugo, the baker. I was collecting for your father. Hugo didn’t have the money to pay and he chased me with a rolling pin. He has no bread to sell because of the chickens. Chevy gave a glance at the wizard. He was about to catch me when the road suddenly turned downhill. Rex and I pulled away like he was standing still. Rex was the name of the ox pulling the cart.

So? asked Rosa.

So! I figured that if I lowered the front wheels of the cart, it would always run downhill.

How clever! Rosa didn’t really understand, but she knew Chevy loved to tinker with mechanical things, so she complimented him

Humph, said the wizard. I’ve been alive for six hundred years and hope to be alive for six hundred more; I can tell you, without a doubt, that lowering the front wheels on conveyances will never catch on. You might as well paint lines on the sides and call them racing stripes for all the good it’d do.

Chevy thought that was a great idea and made plans to add stripes as soon as possible.

Llywarch fell back again, as the cart hit another rut. What’s this? It smells like rotten egg. He sat up and lifted a dripping hand from the straw. I must have smashed it when we hit the bump.

Rosa and Chevy looked at each other in horror. What…What color is the shell? she asked.

Llywarch held his hand up to the light of a waxing moon. It looks yellow. No…wait…it’s gold. It’s a gold-colored shell.

Oh, no! gasped Rosa.

It’s ‘Los Pollos del Diablo’, whispered Chevy.

The Devil Chickens, Llywarch repeated. What are Devil Chickens?

The meanest, most foul gang of chickens in all of Spain, answered Rosa. They work for that villain, Don Swan! Chevy, do you think we’re being spied on?

You think you’re being spied on by a gang of chickens? Llywarch asked.

They’re descendents of that horrible hen that laid the golden eggs, Rosa told him, but they were fool’s gold. Inside they were as rotten as she was!

Do you mean the hen from ‘Jack and the Beanstalk’, where Jack and his mother became wealthy from the hen’s eggs?

That’s right, Larry, answered Rosa. Only they didn’t get wealthy from that one. She was a fraud and a deceit.

She laid nothing, but rotten eggs, Chevy added.

She was evil, continued Rosa. Poor Jack was too good for her, but evil always seeks out evil! When she got the chance, she ran away, leaving Jack destitute as ever. Eventually, she joined up with that scoundrel pirate, Don Swan. Henrietta’s dead now. She lived a long and miserable life and died quietly in her nest. They had to bury her. She was too tough even for stewing. All her children and her children’s children work for Swan. They’re the most dangerous, cutthroat gang of chickens in all of Spain.

They’re ugly little brown things, added Chevy, and they talk without moving their beaks. It’s eerie!

You say her name was Henrietta? asked Llywarch. He was not quite following the conversation.

All chickens are named Henrietta, Rosa informed him.

Who’s Don Swan? asked Llywarch, shaking his head as if to clear it.

Don Swan is the man I wish to escape from.

That must be why I am here, to grant your wish…if that’s what you wished for. Llywarch grasped at the one thing he could understand, but why do you wish to escape from Swan?

Why do you wish to grant me a wish? Rosa responded, as she clung to the bouncing seat.

I don’t wish it. I have to do it. Llywarch wiped his hand on the straw and put his hat back on, but this is the oddest wish I’ve ever granted!

What do you mean? Rosa looked at him with suspicion.

I’m no ordinary wizard who just goes around granting wishes, whenever he pleases. I grant them only under special circumstances. Actually, when I was a lad, I wanted to go into the diplomatic service and be a translator. I’m pretty good at it. Even today anyone standing within fifty feet of me can understand any language that is spoken in that same circle.

What language are you speaking now? asked Rosa.

Mandarin Chinese!

Amazing! It sounds like perfect Spanish. Doesn’t it, Chevy?

He has a slight accent. Chevy shrugged his shoulder and prodded Rex with a stick.

I only grant wishes under special circumstances, Llywarch repeated. "That’s my job whether I like it or not. My father had the job before me. He wanted to be an architect. He once built a wall clear across Scotland, but some guy named Hadrian took credit for it.’

You don’t wish to grant me a wish? asked Rosa.

That’s not the point. I have no choice, but to grant your wish, only what I can’t figure out is how you qualify.

I’m a good person! Rosa huffed. Isn’t that so? She punched Chevy until he nodded in agreement. Everybody knows that Rosita Lucilla Cecilia Maria Maria Rojo-Reyes is a good person.

Llywarch sighed. That probably explains it. You see my job is to grant one wish and only one wish in a person’s lifetime to anyone who does a kindness to me or my family. He sighed. Back before my great-grandfather was born, someone decided that was a way to encourage good deeds and they felt it would be easier to keep track of those deeds if they were all done to the same family, the Llewellyns. Personally, I think my great-great-grandmother had something to do about it; she was a bit of a busybody. Anyway, that’s what a Llewellyn wizard does; he grants lifetime wishes to anyone who does the family a kindness. Usually, it’s a good person, but it doesn’t have to be. That’s how we got the Norman invasion.

He hesitated, but curiosity got the better of him and he asked, Why do you have two Marias in your name?

Oh, said Rosa. Embarrassed, she replied, That’s because I’m named after two different maiden aunts and each of them was named ‘Maria’. They used to argue about which one of their names came first. She considered. I don’t know you or your family, so how could I have done any of them a kindness? Who are they?

I’ve always been a bachelor. So, there’s just me and my sister’s children, who are all that are left since she died. They are Suzy, Kevin, William and Christopher Morris. William and Chris look just alike even though William’s a couple of years older. They all get a wish, too, on their twenty-first birthdays. I think that was my great-great-grandmother’s idea, also. They can’t grant wishes, because their father wasn’t a wizard. The curse…er…responsibility is handed down only from father to son. I had trouble granting Suzy’s wish. There was no King of England for her to marry, because Elizabeth is on the throne. She’s married to a lawyer in London. She insisted that’s not the kind of court she meant, but I did my best! Kevin was the easiest. He wanted a millstone. Now he earns a good living grinding flour. William asked for a pair of loaded dice, just before he fled to Paris. Chris was off sailing as the first mate on a naval vessel when he turned twenty-one. So I still don’t know his wish. That was about two years ago and I’ve yet to hear from him.

Your niece and nephews are a little young to have a six-hundred-year-old uncle. Was your sister the baby of the family? asked Rosa.

Yes, said Llywarch. She and her brother were the only siblings I know of. They were the children of my father’s fourteenth wife.

What about your brother? Shouldn’t he be a wizard?

I’m afraid he was lost at sea. The Portuguese sailor who returned his belongings is now the governor of Brazil.

I’m sorry, said Rosa. I know what that’s like; I lost my mother. I don’t know any of your family, although William sounds interesting, so how could I have done a kindness and how would you know if I did?

When the kindness is done, I hear a tiny ringing in my ear like the sound of a bluebell.

Bluebells don’t ring!

Of course, they do. Rosa was surprised that Chevy provided the answer instead of Llywarch.

Maybe you met one of the family without being aware of it. Besides, it’s hard to know what’s kind and what’s not. A woman used to give Suzy all sorts of sweets and candies, but she never received a wish. Finally, she got mad and refused to give her any more. Suzy’s complexion cleared and the woman found a pearl ring in a piece of the candy she kept for herself. Then there was an old professor at Cambridge who lived mean and alone. He flunked Kevin out of school before he became a miller. That was considered a kindness. The professor’s wish was to marry a young and beautiful barmaid. He died shortly afterwards, tired, but very happy.

Suzy and Kevin are in England. You haven’t been to England, have you? No? Then I don’t think you could have met them. William’s on the continent somewhere. You haven’t been in jail, have you? You could have met him there. No? He’s hard to be kind to, anyway. He claims kindness is for suckers. That leaves Chris, but he’s still at sea. Could you have run across him somewhere?

You think I’ve done a kindness to this Christopher Morris whom I’ve never met? Even Chevy looked dubious.

I don’t know. Llywarch lifted his hat and scratched. This was unlike any wish he’d ever granted. For the hundredth time, he wondered where Chris was. He looked at Rosa and shrugged, but he couldn’t answer her. Instead, he said, Tell me about Don Swan. Why are you escaping from him?

Rosa sniffed. He’s a vile, evil man who claims he wants to marry me! What he really wants is to get his hands on my dowry!

Are you in love with someone else? Llywarch hoped love had nothing to do with it. That always complicated things.

No. Rosa blushed in the darkness. It just that Swan is an evil man...and he’s old. He’s thirty, if he’s a day. He’s slovenly; he has a gold tooth and a scar, an ugly goatee and a mustache. He’s a pirate who robs on land as well as on the sea. He terrorizes the country with those Devil Chickens. They sneak into fields and orchards at night, eating all the grains and fruits, so that people don’t have food left for themselves, or to feed their animals. So they lose their land to the tax collector and Don Swan snaps it up for pennies on the peso. Those chickens! They make vile drinks out of the fruits and grains and sing drunken songs all night long.

Loudly, without moving their beaks, Chevy interjected. People can’t sleep! They spy. Swan knows everything. Even townspeople suffer. Hugo, the baker, can’t bake, because there’s no grain and the grocer has no food to sell. The butcher, threatened me with a cleaver when I went to his collect taxes. What does he have to sell? Without grain, who can raise meat?

When they can’t pay, my father is forced to foreclose on their property.

Your father, the good tax collector?

Yes, Rosa explained, a little embarrassed, and my husband, when I marry, will have the royal right to be a tax collector. That’s my dowry. Some ancestor of ours helped drive the Moors out of Spain. As his reward, he and his descendents inherit the royal office of tax collector. That’s my family’s curse. I wish you could do away with taxes. She looked hopefully at Llywarch.

He grimaced. I am afraid that’s beyond my power, even if you hadn’t already made your wish. I have no control over love, death or taxes. Surely your father wouldn’t want you to marry an evil man.

Humph, Rosa snorted. Swan pretends to be different around my father. Talking about how he’ll help the people, using his wealth to ease their burden after we are married. It’s all an act. Once he gets my dowry, he’ll impose heavier taxes than ever and he’ll lock me in his tower, guarded by those birds. They’ll roost outside my door and sing all night long.

Without moving their beaks, Chevy added.

My father would renounce tax collecting, but he thinks I need the dowry. So, I’m running away. If I’m gone, he can use his money and land to help the poor. I know he wants to immigrate to New World and implement land reform there. That’s his wish, if he didn’t have me to worry about.

Your father hasn’t earned a wish. I’d have heard it.

Rosa gave him an indignant look and answered My father is kind to everyone!

Llywarch rubbed his eyes. He was beginning to get a headache. Chevy, who’d known Rosa all of his life, gave him a commiserating look.

Llywarch banged his nose against his fist, as the cart hit another bump. He saw stars.

Chevy, Rosa said. Maybe, the cart is a little too fast. This is such a rough ride.

Going too fast seemed impossible to Chevy; there was no such thing. What he needed, he felt sure, was a better suspension system. Still, he slowed a little.

Where are we headed? he asked her.

I don’t know. I’ve never been this far from home before. If we didn’t have Larry, we’d be lost. They both looked at him, expectantly.

Llywarch rolled his eyes, but said, Well…if I’m to grant this wish, I’d better see where we’re going.

He reached into his robe and took out a leather bag. He pulled out a round object. It was a walnut. He held it up and gazed. Somebody’s waiting for us in the darkness up ahead.

You can see that in a walnut? Rosa asked. I thought wizards used crystal balls.

Crystal balls are for Gypsy fortune tellers, Llywarch snorted. My ancestors were Druids. We use natural things like fruits and nuts. I am partial to walnuts.

Can you see the future in other nuts, too? asked Chevy.

Oh, yes! Coconuts are the best. They are so large that you can see quite far. The smaller the nut, the less you can see, but coconuts come from so far away that they’re usually spoiled by the time they get here. Then you don’t know if you’re seeing a disaster or it’s just a rotten nut. Pecans, almonds and cashews are all good. Like I said, I’m partial to walnuts. You have to be careful about some of nuts, though. Peanuts are expensive and cocoa beans are fattening. Almost any nut will do…except for acorns. Beware of acorns. They’re tough nuts to crack. Half of them are as honest as the day is long, while the other half lie about everything.

Acorns lie? Chevy asked, in disbelief.

Can that walnut tell us where we should be going? asked Rosa.

HELLO! came a voice from out of the darkness and Chevy pulled the cart to a stop.

A muscular dwarf in a leather helmet, pants and jacket came out of the dark leading an animal.

Hombre! cried Rosa. She jumped down and hugged him. What are you doing out here?

I lost the pig farm to taxes, Hombre answered. Your father was sorry, but what could he do? Don Swan bought it, along with all my pigs. I managed to save Harley. He and I are off to seek our fortune.

Your pig’s name is Harley? asked Llywarch.

He’s a hog! argued Hombre. Swan bought my pigs, but he couldn’t have Harley, because Harley is a hog. What are you doing with that bag of walnuts; are they for eating?

Llywarch held them out of reach. No. They’re not for eating; they’re for seeing into the future. He gazed into one again.

Chevy, he said. Follow this path until you come to an abandoned silver mine next to an impassable swamp. Then turn west. I see a ship waiting for us in the Lisbon harbor. He returned the nut to his bag and tucked it safely in his robe.

Hombre looked incredulous.

Hombre, this is Larry. He’s a wizard. Rosa introduced them. Larry, Hombre is the nicest and strongest man I know.

How do you do? said Hombre, as he reached up to take Llywarch’s hand in a grip that made the wizard wince. What are you doing way out here? he asked Rosa.

I’m running away from Swan, so he can’t have my hand in marriage. We escaped without anyone knowing, she whispered, and we’ll go so far away that no one will ever find us.

He’s an evil man, that Swan, replied Hombre, and so are those Devil Chickens.

Los Pollos del Diablo, agreed Chevy. They both shuddered.

Would you like to come with us? Rosa asked.

Agreeing, Hombre climbed onto Harley and fell in beside them, while Rosa brought him up to date on their adventure, so far, as they rumbled off into the night.

No one noticed the small brown hen hiding under the cart, perched upon its back axle.

Chapter 2 – Safe Harbor

It was a dirty, tired and hungry group that approached the top of a steep hill near sunset several days later. Lisbon and its harbor were still not in sight.

We would have been there by now, complained Llywarch, if we hadn’t gotten lost.

You were the one who sent us in the wrong direction! retorted Rosa.

How could I tell which way to go? You ate my walnuts!

Rosa tossed her curls and replied, I only had two.

Chevy ducked his head and admitted to eating a couple.

Hombre, riding along side on Harley, added that he had eaten a one and given another to his pig. I mean hog! he corrected himself.

It’s your fault Rosa told the wizard. We found the silver mine and the swamp and we turned west, but YOU did not find food!

I wasn’t aware that food was a part of your wish, he complained.

The next wish I make, I’ll be sure to include a menu. She ignored the sputtering about lifetime wishes meaning just that, only one in a lifetime.

Maybe Chevy or I should do a good deed for Larry and wish for food, Hombre suggested.

I wish you would! Llywarch was as hungry as the rest.

How far do we have to go? Rosa eyed the top of the hill before them.

I don’t know. It’s hard to gauge distances in these fragments. Llywarch opened his bag and took out a handful of broken shells. He held them up to the setting sun. It could be just over this hill or it could be twenty leagues away. Not more than twenty, I’d say.

Since he had been saying Not more than twenty all day long, Rosa snorted in disbelief.

It’s hard to be sure, Llywarch said, in his defense. According to these, there are hundreds of ships just over this hill, but I find that hard to believe. It’s probably a distortion caused by the fragments…

Llywarch stopped speaking, for as soon as they crested the hill, the city and harbor of Lisbon lay below them, sparkling in the setting sun. In the harbor were hundreds of ships.

Oh, my goodness! said Rosa.

It’s the Spanish Armada! said Llywarch.

Chevy stopped the oxcart and Hombre brought Harley to a halt, putting a foot down on each side for support.

The ship we’re looking for, which one is it? asked Rosa.

I don’t see it. I’m not sure it’s down there, said Llywarch. The ship I saw was English, but no sane Englishman would sail into a harbor containing the entire Spanish navy.

Look at the nuts again, Larry, insisted Rosa.

I see nightfall and a sunrise and lots of empty water.

What does that mean?

I’ve no idea, but we let’s stay up here tonight and see what the morning brings. We should be safe. No one knows we’re here.

As they gazed at the spectacle below them, they did not notice a small brown hen drop from under the cart, scoot into the bushes and scurry on down the hill.

* * *

In the harbor on a ship disguised to look Spanish, Randolph Earl, the captain of the English sloop christened The Good Queen and his first mate were dancing a hornpipe to the delight of some of their crew and to the dismay of others, who wanted to keep as low a profile as possible.

It was a bold move slipping right into the harbor to spy on the Spanish fleet. The Spanish translation of the ship’s name was La Buena Reina and that was painted on its side. The flag it was flying was a captured Spanish one. No one on board could speak Spanish; so inquiries from other ships were answered with Si, Bueno or Adios and sometimes with all three. This limited communication seemed to work. They were allowed to drop anchor undisturbed, among the other ships.

At the end of the dance, sailors scattered fore and aft to the gunwales and up the ratlines to the crow’s nest and riggings. There, they turned their eyes onto the surrounding vessels, mighty Spanish war galleons, and started counting them.

By nightfall, the counting was finished. The ship did not light its lanterns, preferring to stay dark, although lights could be seen from the other ships. The night was made blacker, still, when a dense fog came rolling in. It got so thick that the lights of the other ships winked out and the only evidence of their existence was the creaking of their chains and the voices of their crews. Then even those sounds ceased, as if they had fallen off the face of the earth. All that could be heard was the wind rustling past the bound canvases and riggings of sloop, the crashing of the waves on the outside of the seawall and the mournful cry of gulls. Those on the sloop were glad for the obscurity. Still, they kept watch throughout the long, dark night, in four-hour shifts, to be prepared to run before the tides and the winds come morning.

* * *

Nearby, in a shabby inn whose crooked sign proclaimed it in Portuguese as the The Seafarer’s Haven, three people sat in a dingy parlor. The inn was built right atop the seawall and the rough waves that crashed on its seaward side contrasted with the calm waters that gently rocked ships within the harbor.

This is outrageous! declared Hansel, who was the prince of the small principality of Oberdonau on the Danube River in the Black Forest. My people can’t afford this. This is outrageous blackmail.

Gretel, his sister, who was sitting by the small fire, clasped her hands and raised an alarmed face to her older brother, but she didn’t understand. She could only guess what was said, because she didn’t speak Spanish.

My young prince, said the pirate, with a gold tooth and a scar on his face. It’s not outrageous! What’s outrageous is pretending that protecting your land from Turks and… er…other pirates isn’t an expensive and dangerous undertaking. You must admit you have no knowledge or skill in war. I bet you’ve never even raised your fist in anger. So, you must rely on others to protect you. Think what the cost would be if the Turks or some other pirates, he chuckled at what was in reality a thinly veiled threat, came and laid waste to your land and its people. What was, in the past, a few fields and barns destroyed, could become homes and entire villages. Think of the violence that could be inflicted on your subjects. Isn’t any price worth paying to avoid that?

Don Swan picked up a tankard of ale and took a swig. He slammed it back on the table, causing Gretel to jump. He burped and wiped his mouth with the back of his sleeve. Turning, he leered at Gretel, while smoothing his goatee.

Take your plunder, then! shouted Hansel. He opened the drawstring of his purse and dumped all that it contained, save for three small coins, onto the table. May all you pirates rot in hell!

Perhaps we will. Or maybe we’ll have enough gold to buy it and all that hell has to offer. The pirate chuckled, again and eyed the three remaining coins.

Hansel drew his purse tight. We need these to get home.

I’d have been happy to have called on you at your castle.

And have you spy out the countryside for the next attack? No! This is better. Take your bribe money and stay out of my country!

Are you sure? asked Don Swan. I could take you home on my ship. I’m sure I’d find the company pleasurable.

Oh, dear gasped Gretel. Her beautiful face, which was ringed in blonde curls, turned red.

Get out! Hansel jumped in front of his sister, with his fists awkwardly raised.

Swan laughed when he saw Hansel, at last, ready to fight. Maybe, there’s hope for you, yet. He swept the gold off the table into his hat, being careful not to bend its feather. He strode out of the room in his long leather boots, letting the door swing shut behind him.

Out on the porch, a brown hen flew off its perch on the sign and onto the pirate’s shoulder and whispered in his ear.

* * *

Daylight found three different sets of travelers awaking.

Up on the hill, Rosa and Hombre awoke stiff and sore on opposite sides of Harley, where they had crept for warmth from the cold Atlantic winds.

I’m so hungry, said Rosa, as she fluffed out her curls, smoothed her blouse and skirt and retied her scarf, that I could eat a hog! Oh…I’m sorry, Harley. I mean I could eat a pig.

Llywarch and Chevy, who were sleeping beside Rex, sat up yawning. Llywarch swung his legs over the ox and rested on its back. He scratched his chin and wiggled his toes, as Chevy went to the top of the hill.

The ships! he called. They’re gone!

Not all of them, said Rosa, after joining him. "There’s that little one over there. We couldn’t see it last night, because the larger ships hid it.

That’s the one I saw in the walnut, said Llywarch. That’s where we’re going.

If that’s what the walnut showed you, alright, answered Rosa, but I wish it had shown you something larger.

I told you that you don’t have any wishes left. Llywarch led the way down the hill with Rosa, Chevy and the oxcart close behind him.

I hope they have something to eat, said Hombre, as he and Harley brought up the rear.

* * *

Randolph Earl and his first mate awoke at the dawn changing of the watch. They emerged from their cabins just as the fog lifted, revealing the empty harbor.

They’re gone, said the mate.

Blimey, said Randolph. Where did they go? Ahoy! he called to the crow’s nest. Why didn’t you wake us when the Spaniards left?

Cap’n, replied the sailor aloft, we didn’t know that’s what they were doing. We heard chains and noise and conversation, but none of us understand Spanish. We didn’t know if they were moving or having a party and we couldn’t ask!

All the hands on deck agreed.

What’ll we do now, Captain? asked his mate. "If we high tail it out of here, the