Henry Fuckit Leaves the Womb

By Ian Martin

Raised by three of the brightest minds of the century (only a little deranged), Henry O'Riley grows up at a private lunatic asylum deep in the African bushveld. Deciding that life is merely a pastime and not worthy of serious commitment, young Henry decides to take pleasure dabbling in and absorbing all the experiences life throws at him. Bold, vigorous and full of physical and mental energy, Henry prepares to let the world
unleash itself upon him. He changes his name to Henry Fuckit, to ward off the genteel and the pompous, along with all their baggage.
'Henry Leaves the Womb', dealing with Henry's first 18 years, is part one of 'The Life of Henry Fuckit 1950-2015', author Ian Martin's autobiographical magnum opus.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Ian Martin
• Release date: Jan 18, 2011
• ISBN: 9781458029713

Ian Martin

Ian Martin has led UN human rights and peace operations in countries including Rwanda, Timor-Leste, Nepal and Libya. A former Amnesty International secretary-general, in 2011–12 he was Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon’s post-conflict planning adviser, then UN support mission head, for Libya. His publications on UN intervention include Self-Determination in East Timor.

Book preview

Henry Fuckit Leaves the Womb

PART ONE OF SIX of THE LIFE OF HENRY FUCKIT 1950 – 1980

IAN MARTIN

HENRY FUCKIT LEAVES THE WOMB

Smashwords edition published by:

IAN MARTIN

Discover other titles by Ian Martin at http://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/hubris

POP-Splat - http://www.pop-splat.co.za

Kikaffir: a Black Comedy - http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/34561

Copyright © Ian Martin 2011

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Contents

1 He makes his entry

2 Wages of sin

3 Ingachini

4 He considers the life of a dilettante

5 The Ingachini cave

6 He decides to assume a new identity

7 Mental imprints

8 How the loss of his singing voice taught him a hard lesson

9 The new name comes to him

10 He learns of his non-existence

11 A portrait of the dilettante as a young man

1 He makes his entry

Bang in the middle of the century, on the stroke of midnight, as the moon rose above the African bush, Mrs O’Riley shrieked in agonized panic, raised her knees and parted her thighs, and began to expel Henry from her womb. He had been perfectly content where he was and would have preferred to remain there. But the rules and regulations governing obstetric procedure decreed otherwise. On entering the world he opened his eyes and gasped in horror. For a brief instant his life lay before him, all sixty-five years of it, and in that instant he understood the impossibility of ever going back. He let out an anguished bellow of rage. And just to confirm that the clock was already ticking, Mrs Hildagonda De Groot, housekeeper cum midwife, slapped his face, held him up by his ankles, shook him, and then hacked through his umbilical cord with a meat cleaver.

Exhausted, Mrs O’Riley lay back on the pillows and began to sing in a serenely dreamy murmur.

"Hey non nonny, nonny, hey nonny,

Hey non nonny, nonny, hey nonny …"

Mr O’Riley, Henry’s father, was not present at the birth because he was feeding the little fishes at the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean halfway between Cape Town and Southampton. The exact circumstances of his disappearance at sea were never established: was it suicide, or was it misadventure under the influence? All that was known with certainty was that, on the night in question, he had been maudlin-drunk. And with good cause. Regret, guilt and remorse had blended into one powerful emotion. Anger and paranoia had combined to create another. No wonder he was exceedingly distraught!

2 Wages of sin

From the moment Mr O’Riley’s plebeian Irish cock had entered into her patrician English sanctum a sequence of events had followed