Infinitely Gilded (Gilded Feathers Series, book 4)

By J. Woods

What if everything you thought to be true... wasn't?

After a year of perishing in a desolating inferno, Cole Evans is surprised when her senses develop an intrigue for the savagely mysterious Dash.
Determined to uncover the secrets hidden in the dark depths of his entrancing eyes, Cole finds herself torn between guilt and temptation.
Her wandering soul fights relentlessly for answers only to find the darkest one of all followed by a series of extraordinary events. Unraveling with devastating and profound realities at the heart of danger, Cole’s fate is illuminated by an altering course where fears and dreams, loss and love converge into a symphony of spectacular - infinitely gilded.

• Language: English
• Publisher: J. Woods
• Release date: Dec 18, 2013
• ISBN: 9781311591982

J. Woods

J. Woods is a Toronto based writer, mother, and non-conformist. She lives between the space of her green tea and humming laptop when she isn’t chasing after her free spirited daughter. She has studied too many things to count including radio broadcasting and entrepreneurship. Grasping at sanity, she realized writing stories about her insane thoughts was easier than explaining them to a doctor. Not to mention cheaper.

Book preview

INFINITELY GILDED

BOOK IV

J. Woods

TABLE OF CONTENTS

COPYRIGHT

DEDICATION & ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER NINE

CHAPTER TEN

CHAPTER ELEVEN

CHAPTER TWELVE

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

CHAPTER NINETEEN

CHAPTER TWENTY

EPILOGUE

A NOTE FROM J

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

COPYRIGHT

Infinitely Gilded

J. Woods

Copyright 2013 J. Woods

Smashwords Edition

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, business, places, events and incidents either are product of the author’s imagination or are used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

Discover other titles by J. Woods at Smashwords.com

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

DEDICATION & ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

To those who have read the stories of feathers, faith and promises and know there is magic within the stars that will forever remain... infinitely gilded.

I’d like to thank my daughter for her brilliance - and for lending me the names of her imaginary friends.

CHAPTER ONE

I bolted upright in the darkness staring desperately around the room for Drex, his voice resounding so clear in my head. Did I dream it? The pain and agony I heard in his voice mirrored what stared back at me every day. I sank back down onto my pillow, dragging another beside me clutching it close.

Drex why did you leave me? I love you. I miss you, I whispered into the darkness.

I prayed for exhaustion to take over, to take me from another sleepless night before I had to wake to a burning sunrise for training. I turned onto my stomach staring out the window and waited for the morning mist knowing my prayers would go unanswered.

I watched from the bench catching my breath as Tommy and Dash moved into place. I knew instantly from his swift and unnatural deft movements that he was born of the same blood as Heychex and Tommy. I kept my eyes in place when they desperately wanted to roll – God forbid I have any normalcy in my life. I observed with renewed interest taking in details I hadn’t been able to catalogue before; his roguishly long dark hair was pulled back at the base of his neck intriguingly sending proverbial signals to my fingers that itched to delve into the thick locks. His angular jaw and sharp cheekbones gave him a dangerous, untamed look while heavy muscles complimented his lean body - and he was big, rivalling Tommy in the height department. Casually sipping my water, I silenced the gasp that bubbled in my throat when he peeled off his sweat soaked long sleeved shirt leaving him in just a scrap of material in the cold winter air. Violent thinning white scars ran up and down his arms, the sight of them had me pausing in my movements when the sudden realization of wanting to hear the story behind them struck me. I admonishingly asked myself why; call it curiosity I answered to no one but the voice in my head. Tommy took no notice, obviously privy to the sight of Dash’s marred skin. His eyes were darker green, dimming the emerald I could almost see in their depths. Emerald eyes that haunted my nightmares and graced my dreams. Lord, maybe I was insane.

His laughter mixed with Tommy’s, the joy floated across the breeze reaching my ears. The feelings I had bubbling up inside me were enigmatic and mysterious and I had no idea how to begin to handle them. The hairs on the back of my neck rose to attention not in fear but in familiar awareness. Suddenly flashes of Drex standing in the backyard waiting for me blurred my vision distractingly relegating me back to the past -

I stood opposite him, the cool November breeze held a chill making me shiver. He motioned toward me with his palm.

Come at me.

Um, what?

Come at me Cole. I need to know what basis I’m working with here. I want you to attack me. Don’t worry about hurting me. You want to learn how to fight? We are going to get right into it. I started after him at a dead run; before I knew it I was on the ground staring up at the grey cloud cover with the wind knocked out of me. Hours passed and even now I could feel the bone deep chill that had settled over me as I stared at the warrior I called my own.

- Male shouts pulled me out of my wayward thoughts confirming my dim reality. I looked down at my splayed fingers watching as the thin layer of dirt smudged underneath the pad of my thumb. I closed my eyes against the slow motion scenes of the past that played on a continuous loop crowding my mind with the pain of unbalanced reference. Soil had caked under my nails from my fingers digging into the ground after being thrown on my sore ass. I breathed out against the roaring in my ears before I stood up ignoring Tommy’s questions and moved through the door into the kitchen. I climbed the stairs two at a time until my feet hit the cool tile floor of my bathroom. I closed the door behind me leaving me blessedly alone. I turned on the hot water and sat on the closed toilet until the bathroom filled with stifling steam. I shed myself of my clothes stepping under the searing shower jets. I watched as the water turned brown rolling off my arms disappearing down the silver drain. The heat penetrated the fog of commotion; I felt it slowly disperse leaving my mind free of the debilitating walk down memory lane. I sat down on the shower floor with the water pounding around me. I brought my knees up resting my wet, hair plastered head against them. I hated to admit that a part of me still clung onto a frail hope, what it meant anymore, what the end goal of that hope was, I had no idea. But it was there. And thinking of dark green eyes and the way Dash’s sweat dampened t shirt clung to the bulging biceps of his arms and the chisel of his chest somehow felt unfaithful. But he wasn’t coming back; Drex was never coming back and the war that continued in my head refused to reason with silence. I lifted my face to the hot needles of water pushing the hair out of my face and took a deep breath before leveraging myself off the floor and into the tepid air on the other side of the shower curtain. I wiped the condensation from the mirror; I stared at myself unsure of who was looking back at me.

December 2014

I’m floating in an alternate realm of lost. There is no definition to what I am feeling and if there is I haven’t found it yet. The idea of him represents hope and light but without him, what do I have? It’s a volatile circus of turmoil. This wasn’t the life I had imagined for myself when I think back to my childhood dreams. How sometimes I wish I could just delve back into the land of make-believe where there are no fears of tomorrow and no sorrow of the past.

Everything Dash does reminds me of him. To the point where sometimes I have to blink away Drex’s face to actually see Dash’s smile. I can’t trust my own mind anymore when it comes to him, them. I feel like insanity is toying with me, batting me around like a cat with her prey. When I look into Dash’s eyes I don’t see a forest green, I see deep emeralds that hold secrets I refuse to admit I want to uncover. I’m waiting for it, I don’t know what it is but I know it’s going to happen. Like smoke under a door, I’m waiting for it but I know it’s not going to attack straight on. It’s going to surround me, suffocating me until that final stroke of death.

I can feel my cheeks heating under the replay of yesterday’s events over and over in my head. The horrifyingly embarrassing events -

The wind howled against the tinted windows of the bar. I stared around at the few customers we had left knowing the beer they were drinking was a good excuse for warm shelter from the storm. As Melodie made an excuse to count inventory, I pulled out a tumbler for myself filling it first with ice, a shot of gin and 7up. I held up my glass listening to the ice dance around the bubbles of carbonation as I lifted it in a silent cheers to the only guy sitting at the bar. I smiled receiving the gesture in return. I leaned against the heavy wood slab revelling in the cool liquid that trickled down my throat after it played against my taste buds. I grabbed a damp cloth after checking the time, only one hour left, and moved to wipe down the already cleaned tables. The frozen snow pelted against the panes of glass adding an ominous soundtrack to the otherwise quiet night. I lifted my head at the sound of my name being called. My hand paused mid circle on the tall bar table as I looked around noticing the guy at the bar had left and the only two people in the place were absolutely not calling my name because their tongues seemed to be preoccupied within each other’s mouths. I heard it again, a soft welcoming voice beckoning me into its familiarity. I found myself straightening as I called Melodie’s name even knowing the voice was coming from the opposite direction of the stock room. I felt my feet moving underneath me caught in an unbreakable spell. I walked down the hallway toward the double doors that led outside. I closed my eyes listening to the sweet singsong of the voice caress my ears. My fingers wrapped around the cold metal handle pushing open the heavy door. My body revolted against the blast of freezing winter air that slapped across my face, enveloping my bare arms covered only by a thin black t shirt. I moved further into the black of the night, my feet moving at their own accord, detached from my mind that was screaming at me to turn around into the warm safety of the bar. I felt myself breathing out slowly, the puff of white fog that left my lips mingled with the falling flakes frolicking within the frigid air. Vaguely I heard my teeth chattering while my fingertips and toes were losing feeling to the cold. I stopped, facing the shadows of the trees in the twilight.

"Cole," the voice summoned. I tilted my head as my mind fought with every strength not to walk within the sinister forest. I was entranced, lifting my face to the cloud covered stars feeling the snow melting instantly on my frozen lips.

"Cole! I felt my mouth curving into a smile at the urgency in the voice. It had turned harder, more insistent, more male. Cole! I opened my eyes to see a figure in black wading through the howling squalls that called his name toward me. Cole! What are you doing?" He was angry, no longer the soft beckoning voice but a voice that haunted my dreams and graced my nightmares.

"Drex," I breathed through my haze of captivation. It was indescribable, the detachment I felt from mind and body; the fingers of fantasy held me in their grasp while my head rebelled against the unnatural force that was drowning me under its spell.

"Cole! the voice was closer now. I could feel his warm breath burn against my icy skin. His strong hands gripped my upper arms; the flame his touch sparked was unfocused, distant. You’re freezing. What are you doing out here? The security of his familiar arms wrapped around me lifting me into his warmth as he carried me from the grip of winter into the warmth the double doors promised. As the freeze began to thaw, I felt myself being released from the claws of entrapment. I felt my trembling fingers reach out to caress his cheek. Cole. Can you hear me? What the hell were you doing outside, in the middle of a snow storm?" A veil of clarity fell over me; I closed my eyes against the sudden roaring in my head and the angry words that were being thrown at me. But it wasn’t Drex’s voice that I heard; it was Dash’s rough, ruined timbre that washed over me. I opened my eyes to see not the expected pools of emerald but dark green orbs that sparked with fury. I felt the chains of whatever bound me release itself leaving me free. Immediately I pushed back from him as my body started with intense shuddering, beginning to defrost. My hair was dripping with melted icicles while I looked down at my tremulous fingers that were tinged a frosty blue.

"What are you doing?" I snapped at him through chattering teeth.

"What the hell are you doing? Why were you out there by yourself in the middle of the night – it’s a damn blizzard outside! Are you out of your mind?" I watched as he clenched his jaw in an effort to maintain the anger I could see growing within him.

"Oh please, you’re over exaggerating. What does it matter to you anyways?" I said poking his chest.

"Over exaggerating? You can’t even say one word without those teeth clacking together! What were you doing outside by yourself Cole?" he asked slowly.

"It’s none of your damn business! What are you doing here anyways?" I snarled at him unable to answer his question myself.

"I came to make sure you were okay. Half the roads are blocked. I have my truck, there’s no way you’ll be able to get your car out," he explained.

"I’m sure I’ll be fine," I waved him off walking away. I brought my still thawing hand to cover my face and the heat of embarrassment that was blushing across my cheeks. I knew I was overreacting with no explanation but it was an uncontrollable entity festering within me. I didn’t know why he was here when Tommy or Heychex could have easily come to get me, why Dash? I took a deep breath as I tried to dig through the confusion of fog in my head. Did I imagine it? It felt like I was lassoed, unable to free myself of the rope that continued to pull me toward the entity holding the other end. What was waiting for me in that forest? Even still, I could hear the echoes of my mind screaming at me to turn around and run and I hated to admit that Dash was the one who was able to free me from the proverbial bonds that called to me.

He waited diligently and patiently silent until my shift ended, heralding me into the cab of his truck. I took a look out the passenger window at my buried car within the tall banks of snow.

"Are you ready to tell me yet why you were outside - by yourself, in just a t shirt?" I cleared my throat keeping my gaze on the relentless blizzard that refused to quiet and settle in for the night. I felt his eyes on me as I ignored the attitude in his question and his presence completely. And the excitement of butterflies in my stomach.

"Thank you," I murmured quietly hopping out of the truck before he even had it in park. I climbed up the icy front steps and into the safety of the sanctuary behind my bedroom door. I let out a rough breath behind my hand as I shook my head at my own actions.

- I found myself in my studio in the predawn, my fingers covered in black charcoal as I frantically moved them over the canvas that lay on the floor. I sat back on my haunches surveying the enthusiastic progress before leaning forward and spreading the contrasting colour against the stark white. My breath turned erratic with my movements. The chiselled cheek bones, the angular line to his jaw; it started off as the same face that my fingers were so familiar with replicating but as I stared at the development of the image I wasn’t sure who I was looking at anymore. I felt my heart breaking at my own betrayal. It was unjust but I felt it just the same. My mind shut out the silent screams that were echoing over the lump in my chest. I stood up rubbing my hand over my face and down my throat attempting to relieve the suffocating that was wrapping its tight claws around my neck. I looked across the room and in the dim light of the four walls my reflection gazed back at me. My fingers left streaks of black and grey on my skin; the image of a girl I didn’t even recognize stared back at me blankly. I felt my arm pull back as I threw the piece of charcoal at the window and watched as the dull thud broke it in half before it fell limply to the floor. Calmly I picked up the canvas and placed it gently against the wall and swallowing my emotion I turned it around refusing to stare at my festering disloyalty before I walked to my bedroom, turning off the low light as I left.

Even today I feel my own shame. I feel it settling down, cuddling me into its cold embrace. A part of me can’t help but unfairly judge him for not being who I wanted him to be. But even then, I’m terrified he’s going to fade away. I feel like I’m playing hide and seek. He smiles at me, light and smooth, and I don’t want to fall for it while a small part of me rebels against that logic.

I’ve been waking up alone and I can’t help but acknowledge the craving for more. I’ve never been so scared; my fingers itch to hold Drex’s hand and I smile at his but when I look down the hand holding mine doesn’t belong to him. I watch it like a runaway train as splattered tear drops fall onto my lips and I can taste the salt of pain.

My mind is moving slowly while my heart still lays in pieces on the floor. I feel like the last piece of me has been taken.

My heart can’t seem to get out more than a whisper as it wanders through the shadows. I’m terrified to have a little faith in the spark that is shining on the other side of the dark.

***

Chloe bounded into the kitchen with an excited squeal clutching her laptop to her chest. I had to suppress my giggle as I shook my head and went back to the casserole I was layering while Dash was beside me chopping the carrots attempting and failing to hide his smile. She grabbed the cutlery from Tommy’s hands and directed him to sit down wanting all of his attention. Those of us kitchen servants were commanded to halt our duties as well.

Two things, she started. First, I got an email from Max the realtor and the space is ours! she whooped.

Congratulations! Dash and I said in unison.

That’s great, Chlo! Congratulations, Tommy grinned with pride.

Thank you, thank you. Second, she took a deep dramatic breath before continuing, My genius knows no bounds. This time I couldn’t stop the snort of laughter which was fueled by the snickering beside me. She stopped abruptly narrowing her eyes in mock outrage. She turned to Tommy who held his hands up in surrender.

I’m not disagreeing with you sweetheart, he placated.

Kiss-ass! Dash said through a cough which had me laughing even harder. Chloe beamed at Tommy before carrying on.

Back to my genius.

Yes, back to your genius, I continued. She sat down on Tommy’s lap and brought her laptop to life.

I was thinking, since the holiday of the mistletoe is soon upon us I figure what better way to celebrate winter wonderland than on a beach? The word beach perked my interest. We would leave next week after classes finish and come home the day after New Years, she finished waiting on baited breath. Her idea definitely held merit but there was one thing that left me with trepidation. Almost as if she was able to read my mind she quickly added, And we’ll of course ask Jayde and Heychex. Jayde and Cole can share a room and Dash and Heychex can share another, she shrugged simply. With her not so subtle innuendo I felt relief envelope me as I started to embrace the idea. I leaned over Tommy to take a look at the site that was showing image after image of beautiful landscapes that had to be paradise. Palm trees lined stretches of white sand while the hot tropical sun bounced off the clear turquoise sea.

I think this is a great idea Chloe, Tommy murmured distractedly, just as enthralled in the pictures that flashed on the screen.

Me too, I could use a vacation, Dash agreed, putting the casserole into the oven.

Thanks, I muttered to him motioning to the closing oven door receiving a smile in return. It was that smile I was becoming familiar with over the past couple of weeks, saying so much without using any words. I chose to ignore the flutter in my stomach, the meaning behind it I was still uncertain of.

What do you think doll? Chloe asked bringing me back to the topic at hand.

Um, I think you’re a genius, I said agreeing with her previous statement. I’ll have to talk to my parents because they were expecting me but I’m sure it will be fine.

Good! she beamed, clapping her hands. After dinner Cole and I will call Jayde and you and Dash can talk to Heychex whenever he gets back from wherever he is right now, she informed Tommy who didn’t look too pleased with the demand but agreed nonetheless.

I was entranced staring at the vivid green of the palm leaves and the turquoise of the ocean that continued to pass over the computer screen; I could almost feel the salty air tangling in my tresses. The timer on the oven sounded bringing me out of my hypnosis. I turned around quickly, my hand reached for the stove door when it clashed with Dash’s.

Sorry, I mumbled attempting to swallow the heat that wanted to spread across my cheeks.

I’ll grab the plates, he smiled. I bent down pulling the oven mitts on while I rolled my eyes - at myself. I wanted to crawl inside the open oven, my own embarrassment from the other night still fresh in my mind. I was appreciative that he wanted to pretend as if nothing happened but my rebellious mind had a different plan which included a skip down the yellow brick road toward memory lane. My peripheral vision couldn’t help but stray at the sight of Dash reaching into the cupboard, his muscles bunching and straining under his t shirt.

Ow, shit, I seethed putting down the hot pan. I looked at my finger, pulling off the plaid mitt. I ignored the guttural laugh that echoed through my mind.

Are you alright? he asked rushing over.

Fine, I mumbled in mortification. I watched as he turned on the water before reaching for my wrist and pulling it under the frigid stream. I got it, thanks, I uttered behind the shade of red that was insistent on crawling over my skin, giving him a tight grin.

Okay, he smirked squeezing my shoulder before dishing up the food. I would make sure the oven was broil on before I crawled into it.

After dinner and leaving the boys to clean the kitchen, Chloe and I hurried up the stairs to my room.

What’s up with you and Dash? What was that in the kitchen?

Nothing! I defended in a higher octave than intended. She held up her hands in surrender as I closed my eyes in humiliation. Sorry, I muttered. She clamped her lips against the giggle I knew she wanted to set free. Sitting tailor style on my bed, she called Jayde and putting it on speakerphone placed it between us. Without finishing the idea Jayde’s whooping and cat calling was screaming through the phone’s speaker confirming her agreement to the plan.

Me and you are sharing a room Cole, she added adamantly.

Yea, of course, I laughed.

Now we just have to finalize our destination spot, Chloe mused pursing her lips as she voiced her thoughts out loud.

Well I’m off in half an hour, I can come over and we can peruse the beaches.

That’s a great idea, I agreed, chiming in. We need to find Heychex to let him know.

He’s here, she informed us solemnly. Chloe and I both reared back staring at each other with Jayde’s admission. Stop it, she interrupted, knowing our reaction without having