Sister

By Dennis Adkins

This is a story of a 14 year old boy who lives in Arkansas in the late 1960's and how his abusive father mistakenly turns him into a young lady with the wrong drugs. He is forced into a high school contest to see what living as the opposite sex is like. He runs to avoid his father and winds up in Vietnam during the war there and is pressed into the Army of the Rebublic of Vietnam where he becomes a fierce soldier and is captured and tortured at one point. He meets his two best friends and forms a small company to make extra money while not fighting. The company grows as does he into the person he wants to be thanks to his friends. After his time in service is up he moves with his friends to Japan to continue the company and returns to high school. He is now living as a female because of the drugs he was given and tries to leave the past behind but it catches up with him and must be dealt with. This is a story of living your life as you want not as others want you to and how this person makes decisions to improve his life and live it to the fullest through hard work and dedication.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Dennis Adkins
• Release date: Jul 1, 2013
• ISBN: 9781628900026

Dennis Adkins

I am a 57 going on 90 year old male who has worked in Emergency Services all my life. I am currently unemplyed and writing and pulling my hair out trying to publish, well I can't do that I haven't had any in 35 years. I live in Eastern Arkansas but spent most of my life in West Tennessee where my son and his family live. I also have a daughter that lives in the Northwest Mississippi area who is a hoot.

Book preview

Sister

Dennis N. Adkins

Published by Dennis N. Adkins at Smashwords

Copyright 2013

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This Ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only. Then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Chapter 1

My choice to lead a life instead of being led has paid off well for me and I have now a successful career an absolutely beautiful wife and business partner and two wonderful kids that I thank God for each day.

HarDav, our company, had expanded and is now into electronics, auto parts and numerous other things, but the one thing that I love is, The House of Aoi, a Japanese styled bed and breakfast whose first and foremost maxim was that service and style were number one. Styled much like the first one I had encountered in Vietnam.

In the 1980’s after a lot of debate, we or rather, Aoi, my business partner and one of the three business partners, which included myself, Aoi and her brother Haruka, decided to open a branch office in the States. I lost the argument and had to move to open the office in Seattle. I lost the argument to leave my beloved home in Japan because I was American and no other reason. The only reason I relented was because I obtained an agreement that I would be allowed to return to Japan when I found a suitable replacement for myself. One day after we had lived there for several years, James my son, who was named after his Grandfather and Uncle, came to my office like he did on a lot of occasions. He was very outgoing with a wonderful personality that made him very popular in school. In the last year he had grown two inches and I knew we were going to have to buy him some more pants to keep him from looking like he was wearing high waters like I did when I was younger. He kept his hair long, but up off his collar and neat. He was the opposite of me when I was his age. We still had a lot in common though, he wasn’t afraid of anything and would stand up for what was right no matter what. The other day Emiko got a call from his teacher because James had gotten into a fight at school. Emiko found out that James had beaten up two other boys for bullying another child. Emiko and I had to really restrain ourselves to maintain a stern parental visage. Inwardly we wanted to jump up and down and cheer, but we couldn’t. Today he came right on in the office and didn’t beat around the bush about what he wanted.

Can I ask you a question? James asked.

Yes sir, you may. I corrected him on his use of can for may.

Who was the Jungle Demon.

I stopped what I was doing and looked at James, Where did you hear that?

Clint, the Vietnamese kid that goes to school with me said his dad works for the Jungle Demon.

I will tell you later tonight. I need you to go on home and help your mom get dinner ready and do your homework. I told him as he ran out the door. I heard him telling my secretary that she looked really pretty today. What a flirt. Then I called after him, Oh, I love you.

I didn’t think he heard me, but he stuck his head back in the door and said. I love you too. and winked at me melting my heart.

I sat there for a minute and the memories came flooding back to me the good times and the bad. I reached in my wallet and pulled out a tattered old photo that I carried around with me. There was a company of ARVN soldiers and I was kneeling in the front with Haruka next to me. Next to him was Nam, the one that took my place.

Del, bring me the list of current employees. I said.

She brought them in and set them on my desk. I just love your son he is so sweet. She said.

He’s a stinker is what he is. I said.

I know, but that is what makes him so adorable. She said and left.

I looked down the list of office employees and didn’t see any names from the past and then I looked at the names of the hourly employees and found the name that I was looking for. Nam Van Phong. I flashed back to 1970.

Hey Nam, what are you going to do when you finish your service?

I’m going back to school. I want to finish my law degree.

Cool the way things are going I may need a lawyer.

I don’t do criminal law. He said with a smile and I threw a C-rat can at him.

Del, I need you to see if Nam Van Phong is working today.

Yes he is, but I think he is about to be cut loose by the foreman. That guy is a jerk and a bigot.

Who Nam?

No the foreman, he has been trying to get me to go out with him for a long time but I won’t.

I got up, picked up my hard hat and walked down to the docks and looked for Nam. I was afraid that my past would be catching up with me again, but this was someone that I trusted and admired. I asked one of the fork lift drivers if he knew him and he said yes and pointed him out to me standing across the warehouse with his back to me. I walked up behind him and said. I need a good lawyer.

I don’t do criminal law. He turned and smiled. I ran up to him and we hugged. He had the same infectious smile that he had flashed at me that day in the jungle. I held onto him and didn’t want to let go. I remembered the times in the jungle together scared fighting to stay alive in an unpopular war, slogging through mud and insects chasing and being chased by an enemy that neither one of us had any personal animosity toward. He still looked the same, taller than the average Vietnamese with a scholarly look on his face.

Hey gook, get rid of your Ho and get back to work. I heard behind me. I felt the hot anger rising up my spine as I always had since I was younger and I turned to see the foreman standing there. I saw why Del didn’t care for him. He had tattoos on both arms and he had his hair slicked back like an Elvis impersonator. He was supposed to have a hard hat on, but instead he had it hanging from his belt so as to not mess up his hair which was covering a large fleshy head. I could tell that he wasn’t taking advantage of the employee health programs, what with a paunch like that.

I turned slowly and faced him and he recognized me immediately trying to back up and get away. Listen you bigot, I’m not a ho and he is not a gook and if you want to keep your job you had better apologize now and put that damn hard hat on.

His eyes widened when he saw me and his attitude changed completely. Uh sorry boss and sorry Nam. Uh I have to go now. And he took off in a hurry.

Still the Jungle Demon, Huh? Nam said.

I guess. Why didn’t you let me know you were working here? I asked.

I really didn’t want you to know about it. He said and looked away from me in shame.

Why not? I asked.

I am ashamed. He replied.

Why, the last I heard you finished school and made a lawyer and managed to get out of the country in time.

When I got out I came here and was told that I couldn’t take the bar exam because my school wasn’t accepted here. So I worked here and there to put my son through school so he could have the chance to do what he wants to do. I think he goes to school with your son.

Yes he does and that is why I came looking for you. My son James came to the office a few minutes ago and asked about the Jungle Demon.

Is that a problem? he asked.

No, but very few people know about me. The only ones that know for sure I fought with. I said.

And they are dead. One of the last units to put up a fight, all but two or three of them were killed. Although the Communist recognized their valor and buried them all with honors.

Tears started rolling down my cheeks. Nam pulled out a handkerchief and wiped them away. Sorry, I thought you knew. Nam said.

Come with me. I said and turned back toward the office. I saw the foreman standing to one side watching us. Hey don’t let me catch you without that hard hat on out here again. I yelled at him.

I led him back to my office and had him to sit down. I picked up the phone and dialed a number. Judge Menton, how are you? …I’m fine, thank you for asking. I have a favor to ask….No I don’t have another speeding ticket. I wasn’t guilty that time either….that’s not funny. I dropped my coffee cup and well, anyway I have an old and special friend that went to law school in Vietnam. What will it take for him to be able to take the bar exam here….Yes I will have him come to see you in the morning…Yes I promise I will slow down. Oh, Emiko is making a traditional Japanese lunch after church on Sunday and she wanted me to ask you to come. You know she won’t take no for an answer…Yes we will be expecting you. Please come I don’t want to face Emiko when she finds out you might not be there….Great then we will be expecting you and bring your wonderful partner with you… Okay good bye.

Nam in the morning you are to go to this address and speak with Judge Menton. Bring any school records you have with you. After you get through there you are to come back here and report to Jack Salinger’s office and get up to speed on our overseas contracts.

What are you doing? he asked.

I’m putting the best man for the job in the right place. Be here or I will find you and drag you personally, kicking and screaming back here and make you do it and you know I can. I said.

I know you will keep trying until you get it done so I guess I will do it. Thank you, boss.

No thank you. By the way do you have a nice suit?

No I don’t that is a luxury that I have not been able to afford, why?

Del.

Yes.

Call the company car and take Nam to Jerald’s and get him about five nice suits with the works and charge it to the company and do not let him weasel out of it. Oh and tell your wife that you have an appointment on Sunday with me at my house and that she and your kids have to be there.

I wish I could, she was killed when Saigon fell. I made it out with Clint only. He said looking away remembering. The pain on his face was completely evident. She was the most wonderful woman, beautiful, talented and capable of anything she put her mind to. I had met her several times and was impressed by Nam’s devotion to her.

I am so sorry. Then bring Clint on Sunday and that is an order.

Yes sergeant. Nam teased.

Oh and Del, Emiko wants you there also, and see if you can find a date to bring. I said.

Del was looking at Nam and said. I think I have found one. I smiled and looked at Nam who was starting to fidget.

Give it a try Nam she is wonderful. I said and thought of all the duds she had come up with in the past. Nam was no dud and I thought this might be something wonderful. As it turned out it was.

I called Jack and told him that Nam would be there in the morning after his meeting and that I wanted Nam brought up to speed as soon as possible. I knew a diamond when I saw one and Nam was a literal jewel in rough waiting to be polished. I was sure that with his expertise we would be a leg up on all of our overseas dealings in no time at all. I sent Aoi and Haruka both messages telling them what I had done and got a resounding confirmation that they were extremely happy about my decision.

That evening Emiko and I were sitting at the dinner table talking about Nam when James came in carrying a shadow box that had been in the attic since we had moved back to the states. His sister Aoi was with him. Aoi was absolutely adorable, she looked just like her mother with her oriental looks and eyes that didn’t miss a thing. She and James were always into something or another and she was just as determined as he was. They fought each other and stood together against anybody that challenged one or the other. He set it down on the table in front of me and asked. Mom tell me who the Jungle Demon was and why do these have your name on them?

Then Aoi looked at me with those big brown eyes of hers and said. Yeah Mom, you never tell us about your past and when I found this last week you wouldn’t say anything about it. I want to know more about you.

I looked at the box, turned it over and opened the back, Emiko put her hand on my arm. Don’t. she said squeezing my arm gently. You have just gotten over the dreams.

I know but they need to know. I said and nodded at James and his sister. I took the back off revealing a secret compartment that held all the paper work for the medals and my Army Discharge papers from the US Army and the ARVN. I pulled them out and laid them out in front of me. I took the main board out revealing my medals and the Obsidian Knife and Tomahawk. I removed the knife and tomahawk from the board and felt the still sharp edges. I looked at the medals and in the center were the two most important ones my Congressional Medal of Honor and the Pin of my School. I removed the pin from the board and held it in my hand and felt the love of the other students that we had gone to school with. Our ten year reunion was coming up and I would need this pin. It was the most important one of all. It was my medal of valor in my fight to learn to love myself and to love others.

I tried to remember the faces of the one hundred and six souls that I had taken and now I couldn’t remember them. I had let them go and I was free of them. James, Aoi sit down I have a story to tell you. It begins like this….

I nominate David.

I came awake from my day dream at that. What the hell did you just do?

David, watch your mouth! said the teacher.

Are you kidding? I'm not going to do that! I looked around the class to see who did this to me. John was smiling and waving at me. You son of a.....

David! I'm not going to tell you again! Mrs. Hutchinson yelled. Also if you get elected and refuse then you get ten points taken from your grade point average.

I couldn't afford to have ten points taken from me, it would drop me to a D and I didn't relish telling my parents about that. I was already struggling as it was. But, Mrs. Hutchinson, I don't want to wear a dress for a week.

I think you will look so sweet. John said. The girls in the class were giggling by now.

I'll get you for this. I said realizing that I was fighting a losing battle.

OOOO I'm scared. he said and flipped me the bird.

Then I nominate John. I said trying to turn the tables on him.

You can't, nominees can't nominate someone else. Mrs. Hutchinson said.

I suspected that she was making up the rules as she went along, even so, I was elected to represent the class as the Princess and Jill Stein was nominated to represent the class as the Prince. This was a new thing the school sociologist wanted to try and show the guys and girls how it felt to walk in each other’s shoes. We would have to dress as the opposite sex for a week and compete in a talent contest with our partners for the honor of King and Queen on the last day. The only redeeming thing about it was that Jill was the most popular girl in school.

Shit, I didn't want to do this. I already got picked on all the time for looking like a girl because my hair was long and I was shorter than the rest of the guys, but was no midget either. I had noticed recently that I was developing a hour glass figure and my chest seemed to be getting bigger. I had been a little over weight, but I had lost twenty pounds by running each day for an hour. I was doing it so my Dad and Mom wouldn't keep putting me on those weird diets all the time. The latest was a Fresca diet. I hated that stuff and didn't want to drink it for each meal. I would rather run than do that. I was sent to Taekwondo class and while I didn't lose any weight I did learn to defend myself against assholes like John. He was the epitome of a piece of shit. I knew for a fact that he was supposed to be going with Jill but he was also fooling around with a girl from the next town.

My parents weren't very supportive of me as far as school went, they didn't make sure I did my homework or check on me when I wasn't at home. It was like I was a non-person to them. I guess I could understand being an embarrassment to them when I looked in the mirror I saw a really cute girl with long dark hair, expressive brown eyes with long lashes, soft skin and pouty lips. I had inherited the Creek Indian side of the genetic tree with dark hair and high cheek bones which made me look even more feminine. My Dad always said I was either going to be a police officer or be a kept man by some older woman. Boy, that really made me feel like I was worth something. Mom on the other hand seemed like she wanted to care, but Dad wouldn’t let her. My Dad also wouldn’t let Mom get a job teaching either and she was a certified English teacher. He was a terrible bigot and made our lives miserable on many occasions.

Every day lately I had been running and while I ran I fantasized about my favorite secret subject and in the privacy of my head I led a secret life full of fun and danger. I would dream about being a secret agent that saved the world or a great scientist, neither of which I could attain, much like Walter Mitty. The running seemed to help me relax though and make my life more bearable. I would take off and at about twenty minutes I would get this high, almost to the point that I didn't feel the pain in my legs or feet anymore. Then it was like nothing I had ever felt before, a feeling of exhilaration like I was flying. I could feel the air flowing past me and the sun on my face; it felt like I was flying soaring on the wind currents like Jonathan Livingston Seagull.

I was shedding weight in my middle and my legs but I wasn't losing anything in my chest or butt. The baby fat just wouldn't come off in those two areas no matter how hard I ran. I caught hell in gym class because of it too. A couple of the local tough guys made it their life’s goal to goad and tease me about being a titty-baby and a bubble butt. Oh well, such was life in a school in the south.

David, be at my house this afternoon to start getting ready for the contest. Jill said.

Jill, I can't do this. Hell, I can't even be at your house today because I have to work. We are finishing up the beans this week and Uncle won't like it if I'm not there by three thirty. I whined.

Then be there after work or else! she snarled. I'm happy to do this and I don't want some little weasel like you messing things up for me.

Okay, okay don't go hostile on me I'll be there tonight at seven.

You had better be! she said and stormed away complaining about having to this with me.

Hey dude, look at it like this. You get to spend time with the hottest chick in school. Cosmo my best friend said. He had walked up to me and did the one thing that I disliked about him. He put his arm on my shoulder and propped himself there. Cosmo was cool, but not socially acceptable, he was one of the invisibles like me with his longish unkempt hair and perpetually wrinkled clothes. He gave the appearance of not having the sense to come in out of the rain, however I personally knew that he was at the top of the class academically with his personal best in the math and sciences. I shrugged him off and went to the next class.

You know in high school if you aren't one of the cool ones or a jock the best thing to do was to cultivate an air of anonymity, in other words try not to be seen. It had kept me from being the butt of a lot more jokes than I already got. I mean they already were spreading rumors about me liking boys and the girls wouldn't talk to me because of it and the boys sure wouldn't talk to me. So I tried to make it to where I didn't exist and it seemed to work okay.

I had built a personality that kept my secret desires at bay and kept others from knowing about them. I needed it especially here in the buckle of the Bible belt. I cursed and chewed tobacco on occasion, but the tobacco made me sick at my stomach so I didn’t do that much. I even went hunting and shot all sorts of guns, even though killing animals seemed wrong to me. I made it a point to be able to recognize almost all types of weapons and had examined the exploded drawings of each one. I was the epitome of the redneck kid. I didn’t get concerned about my studies and I didn’t get too caught up in the goings on of the other kids. There were times when I would make the effort to talk to a girl even though most of the times it was a failed effort and they would leave as soon as someone either saw them with me or another boy would come up. I kept to myself and didn’t participate in any of the school events that the others did so I wouldn’t stand out. Really I was invisible.

Working in the fields was very satisfying to me. Even though I wasn’t old enough to drive a tractor, Uncle would let me drive the one that pulled the grain buggy so that the rest could run a combine. My cousin James had been drafted this year and was gone to Vietnam so Uncle was short a man. Normally all I did was carry the grease gun around and lubricate the machines. I also had to clean the combines every evening when we got through and get things ready for them to start in the morning. We had about two days of cutting left and then we would be through for the fall. Uncle was thinking about putting in some winter wheat this year though. A new concept for the area to double up the usage of the land. I was looking forward to it since it meant that I would be able to make a little extra money for Christmas along with what I usually made picking up pecans to sell. I didn’t mind the work and really liked having some money in my pocket. The only bad thing about it was that Dad always took my money and said that it was to pay for my room and board. I had started hiding a portion of my money to keep him from getting all of it. Mom still didn’t seem to ever have enough even though I was contributing to the financial situation of the home.

My father was a telephone technician who was full blooded Creek Indian and he worked for a company up north that put in the telephone systems in the new buildings that were being built. He said that the reason he worked up north all the time was because he was a union man and no one in the south would hire him. I wondered why if he couldn’t get a job in the south why he didn’t just move us up north with him, although I really didn’t want to leave the farm, so I was happy we didn’t move up north with him. He seemed to stay gone all the time although he would come home for a few days and then leave and go back to work. He did that at least once a month and while he was at home he would disrupt the routine that we had established in the house and cause us all immeasurable stress. He wasn’t a big man, however he was strong and fearless. I guessed listening to him talk, that was the reason that they kept calling him to work because he would do the jobs that none of the others would do and do them well. His favorite subject when he was at the house was me. Not in a positive way either. He was continually harping on the fact that I wasn’t growing into a tall and muscular he man type. His other thing was to make sure that Ellen was always dressed as a preteen in long skirts and things like that. He would get really angry when she wore anything that came up above her knees and was in his opinion too revealing or tight. The two of them would fight like cats and dogs, while I did everything I could to just avoid him at all costs. His only redeeming quality toward me was his insistence on telling me the stories that had been passed along to him from his grandfather and father about the Indians and their beliefs. I would sit and listen to him for as long as he wanted to talk. Then about two years ago he or I started to change and I became afraid of him.

That evening I went into the house and no one noticed me come in. I thought I would just take a bath and slip back out. I came out of the bathroom just in time to see my Dad coming down the hall and he was mad. I ducked back in to the bathroom hoping he hadn’t seen me, but I was wrong again. He started pounding on the door and screaming at me to come out and explain why I wanted to enter a queer contest at school.

I tried to tell him that they were going to take points off my grade if I didn't do it and that I sure as hell didn't volunteer for it. He didn't believe me and kept pounding on the door. I was afraid of my Dad especially when he was like this. He had in the past beat the crap out of me for things like filing my fingernails and putting a clear hardener on them so they wouldn’t break off into the quick which hurt and caused me to develop infections around my fingernails. I don’t know why I had such a problem, but I did and he didn’t seem to care. He just said that I should suck it up and be a man and not put polish on my fingernails like a queer. I already had put clean clothes on so I quietly opened the bathroom window climbed out and went by the garage and found a pair of Moms old tennis shoes and put them on since I didn't have any shoes on and I took off at a dead run. It was only a mile to Jill's house and I knew I could do it easy.

I got to her house and I was about forty five minutes early. I decided to hang out down the street until time to be at her house under a big Elm tree that was supposed to have been planted when the town was established. The kids called it the hanging tree because the two lower limbs had been used to hang several African Americans by one of the racist groups that populated the area in the early part of the century and by the local Sheriff who carried out sentencing on those that had been tried and found guilty. I Personally found it hard to believe because the tree would not have been big enough for that back then. I heard Jill telling someone loudly what she thought of them and I moved in closer to see what was going on. She and John, the jerk that nominated me, were having a big fight.

You said you would do this with me! she yelled.

Hey babe, I can't go around school for a week in a dress. The guys would kill me. Beside that little dweeb will back out at the last minute I guarantee it. Heck, I'll bet he doesn't even show up that week since he's such a pussy. Then on the last day at the assembly I'll show up and do the talent thing with you and we win. I got this planned and it's in the bag. Don't worry. he said and laughed. He had the most irritating laugh like a mule braying.

Listen, you never told me about any of that when you talked me into doing this. You said you would be right with me the whole time and now you are backing out. I don't want to talk to you again. Jill screamed and turned her back on him. He tried to turn her around by grabbing at her arm, but she just pulled away and ran into the house.

Fine just walk away. You can do it with the queer, but don't come to me when he makes a fool out of you! he yelled and spat on the ground after her. He watched her run into her house and took a step or two in that direction, but stopped in thought and turned and ran to his car and jumping in he roared off spinning his tires on the street. He wasn’t really legally old enough to drive yet, but the word around school was that his dad paid off the local police to keep them from stopping him.

I waited until seven and knocked on the door. Her mother answered it. Mrs. Stein was as beautiful as her daughter, slender, blonde and with the face of an angel. I stood there for a second mesmerized by her beauty and getting my senses back I said. Hello, I'm David; I’m supposed to meet Jill here about the contest.

Oh yeah, well come on in. Jill's in her room. I'll tell her you're here. she said and smiled at me with the same smile that Jill had. Oh and be patient, she and her, and her mother rolled her eyes, boyfriend just had a big fight and I think it was over you.

That didn't help anything, now her mom thinks I am a trouble maker already. This was just my luck I hadn’t done anything and now I was in trouble with her mom. I thought to myself.

Jill came into the living room and she had changed from what she was wearing outside to a pair of shorts and a blouse. She still looked great. They showed off her long beautiful legs and her stunning figure that was perfect. She was about an inch taller than I was with the most beautiful blue eyes and long blond hair. I really liked the way her nose seemed to have a little upturn to it and she had the most warming smile that I had ever seen when she smiled, which wasn’t a lot. especially lately.

Well at least you're on time. Come on in the kitchen and let's get started. Without even saying hello, how are you, kiss my foot, or anything. She walked away to the kitchen as I glanced up at her mother, who smiled at me and gave me little shove in the direction of the kitchen.

They lived in one of the bigger homes in town and even had a swimming pool out back. Her father was a big land owner and a banker so they lived well. He also had several rental properties in the county and I had heard some of the men, that my Uncle talked to. saying that he had an unfaithful heart and had married Mrs. Stein to be a, what did they call it, trophy wife. He made a lot of money and apparently he didn’t mind putting it into living well because I recognized antique furniture and expensive art from the books I looked at in the library, and while I wished that I was rich I knew I would never be able to afford anything like this. I walked into the kitchen and was overwhelmed by the size of it. It was as big as our living room, dining room and kitchen all put together with the biggest stove and oven I had ever seen. A table that could easily seat eight people was in the center, I had passed the dining room on the way in and it was even larger. I wondered if they used this room for the everyday living and the dining room for guest and parties.

Well sit down. Jill commanded.

Thank you. I said.

We have a week to come up with a wardrobe and a talent to perform. I have a few ideas, but I don't know if you can do any of them so I need to know what you can do. she said. I noticed that she sat with her forearms and elbows on the table while I sat upright with my hands folded in my lap. She was aggressive and I was passive. I had never been a pushy person so I kind of adopted some feminine mannerisms which made my life a bitch on occasion. Jill was droning on and on about a dozen things at once it seemed like and I was having trouble keeping up.

Uh....excu....could you slo.... Okay I give up. I started getting mad and decided to leave rather than exhibit my one aggressive trait that I did have. When I got frustrated I would start yelling, but since her mother asked me to be patient I decided to get up and walk out points or no points. I wasn’t here to be abused no matter how much it would cost me. I still had my pride and I was going to keep it.

Just where the hell, do you think you're going? she demanded.

Home, I haven't been able to get you to slow down long enough for me to ask questions and I really don't feel like being treated this way. I know you and John just had a fight, but don't take it out on me. I said and as soon as I said it I thought that it might have been the wrong thing to say.

How did you know we had a fight? Have you been spying on me? You little pervert. First I get saddled with a fag and now it turns out he's stalking me. No wait if you are queer then.... you have been stalking John. Oh shit this is bad.

I...don't....stalk..... people! I was early and decided to wait under that big elm on the corner and I could hear the two of you all the way down there! Also let me just set the record straight I am not a fag, never have been and never will be. Now I didn't want to do this, but since your boooyyyyfriend set me up so he could just step in at the last minute and take all the praise I am here. Go bitch at him since he's the one that did this. I turned on my heel and took off. I passed Mrs. Stein, on the way and she called to me to stop. I stopped and turned to her and she held up her finger and wiggled it at me to come back in the most feminine way that I had ever seen. What got my attention though was the look of concern in her eyes.

I hesitated, but walked back up to her. Then she surprised me by reaching up and putting her hand on my face and stroking it gently. I know your mother well she and I are very close. Let me talk to Jill about this and let's see what we can do. She paused and changed the subject and surprised me. You know you really are beautiful. It's a shame for someone as pretty as you has to be a boy, but be that as it may, let's do our very best.

Yes mam. The tears were starting to flow as she indicated for me to stay there and she went into the kitchen and spoke with Jill. She came back, took me by the shoulders and led me back into the kitchen where Jill was sitting at the table with her head down crying.

I walked up to her and watched her shaking shoulders as she sobbed I said. Jill.

She looked up and saw me standing there. The tears were still running down my cheeks. You're crying. Why? You didn't do anything wrong.

I hurt you and that made me sad. I know I'm not a he man and I guess that was why he nominated me. They all think I'm queer and don't want to have anything to me because I am shy and don't have anything to do with girls. Heck I don't have much to with anybody really, but I am so sorry that I made you cry. I even feel bad about causing you and John problems. Please accept my apology.

I will if you will accept mine for being so mean to you. she replied.

Done. and I stuck my hand out for her to shake. She took it and we shook on it sealing my fate. Touching her hand made me feel different, a sudden warmth ran up my arm making me feel a little lite headed, but we let go quick, so I really didn’t get to see what was going on with me.

Her mother who had been watching the whole time, told us to sit at the table while she fixed us some tea. I had been raised on iced tea and wasn't familiar with the hot tea concept, however I was suddenly excited by the idea of being able to participate in a tea party. Jill got her note book and we talked about what we would need to do.

You know, Jill won't have anywhere near the problems that you will. Mrs. Stein said. As a matter of a fact if you really want to do this right then you are going to have to learn a lot of new things quickly. Now what are the things that you have to do?

I read the information sheet they gave us today, I said, and I have to present myself in a ladylike manner at all times. I have to wear appropriate clothes and be modest at all times. Tomorrow each grade will meet at different times during the day and elect the two candidates, a boy and girl that will represent the whole class in the week after next when the real competition will begin. Then on Monday we will be presented to the whole school. On Wednesday we have to go out to the various businesses to sell ad space for the annual. Then on Friday there will be an assembly and we compete together as a team in a talent contest. Oh no. It says here that the King and Queen can be called to represent the school at other times as needed.

Mrs. Stein took the paper from me and read it carefully. Then she looked at me and said, Let’s get started. She walked out and made a phone call. Leaving us to work on other things. I was concerned that she said, Let’s and not you need to get started.

Jill started quizzing me on what my particular talent was. Can you sing? Can you dance?

I have never had the opportunity to learn. I replied. I would love to learn though.

Really I didn't figure that you could. That's okay we’ll find something, well let's think about a dance routine then and get you up to speed on female mannerisms and speech patterns. Although....you...seem.

Say it; I act like a girl a lot now.

Well yeah, but I think it's cute. You don't slouch and you sit up straight and keep your knees together. Get up I want to see you walk. and she grabbed my hand and pulled me up. I have to say when she seized my hand I felt a sensation similar to the high I get from running. A warm tingling ran up my spine and out to my arms and legs. I felt a little weak at that moment and lite headed. I was enjoying her touch though.

Why do you want to see me walk? The sensation was getting more and more intense. I could feel her soft warm hand in mine and now she was close enough that I could even smell the faint scent of her perfume and see the little gold flecks in her eyes.

I could feel my cheeks burning making the situation even more awkward for me. I pulled my hand from hers and stood with my hands together held to my chest and bowed my head. Sorry, I don't know what came over me.

Jill suddenly smiled broadly, Mom he's truly embarrassed by me touching his hand. she said to her mother as she returned.

I was still standing there like that wondering if I needed to try to leave or stay and finish what I had started. I was feeling things that I had never felt before, euphoria, embarrassment, concern for her feelings and a desire for it to not stop. This was so new to me and I had no idea why or even if I wanted it to go on or stop. I could feel my heart racing almost as though it wanted to leap from my chest.

Don't worry, I won't hurt you. Jill said softly.

Thank you. was all I could get out. I wanted so much to feel this way again and again. It was the most wonderful and exciting thing I had ever experienced.

Let's see you walk. Mrs. Stein ordered. I walked across the kitchen and turned. Both of them were standing by the table staring at me with surprised expressions. I thought I had done something wrong, Is there something wrong? I asked.

No....No nothing I can see. I would like you to try to take smaller steps and keep your feet closer together and in a straight line also don't swing your arms. As a matter of a fact for now I want you to hold them together in front of you. Now try it again. ordered Mrs. Stein.

I graduated from walking like that, to walking like that with a book on my head. Then Mrs. Stein asked me what size shoe I wore and I told her a size five. She looked at my foot and said, "You could wear Jill's shoes then, I think, and she sent Jill to get a pair of heels for me to try on.

She came back with a pair of white pumps that had shorter heel on them than what I was used to seeing on the women around here, but they were still cute. Hey I can't wear white it's after Labor Day. I said joking trying to alleviate some of the anxiety I was feeling at putting on a pair of woman's shoes in front of them. I suddenly realized that I had worn a pair of mom’s tennis shoes and they definitely weren’t masculine in appearance.

Well we won't fuss at you for making that fashion mistake right now. Jill said and actually smiled at me.

I tried them on and they fit well walking in them was a lot easier than I had thought it would be. I actually liked it. Jill got down in front of me and rolled my pants legs up as far as she could, so she could see what my legs looked like in them. She and her Mom both stood to one side watching me as I learned to walk like a lady. I was given a break and sat down at the table, but I didn't take the shoes off I was really liking them a lot which had me totally confused. The doorbell rang and Mrs. Stein went and answered it.

David, you know Mrs. Cleveland. She has graciously consented to do something with your hair tonight. I think that you need to look the best for the selection process tomorrow. So we will leave you in her capable hands. Mrs. Stein said and pulled Jill from the room. I could hear Jill complaining the whole way, Mom I want to see what she does with his hair.

Well let's get to work then. By the way I like the shoes they look nice on you and it seems you have the legs for them. and without a moment’s hesitation she whipped out an apron looking thing and put it around my neck and started evaluating my hair.

No hair cut for two years was paying off, however she said I needed to start using a conditioner on it and to roll it at night to keep the curl in it. I see you have already washed it. Good. Then she started cutting and when she got through she took me to the sink and washed it again and put in a perm and rolled it. Then she plucked my eye brows to make them less Neanderthal looking she said. Then she filed my nails and put a coat of clear polish on them. I hoped Dad wasn’t up when I got home. I had to sit under a dryer for a while, but when she got through and took the rollers out and brushed my hair out. I wanted see it. She wouldn't let me though, instead she called Jill and her Mom in.

That is amazing, said Mrs. Stein as she walked around me and touched my hair.

Jill was staring at me and suddenly turned and ran out. I looked at Mrs. Stein and Mrs. Cleveland but they were too busy talking about the cut to have noticed that Jill was gone. I thought I looked horrible and had made Jill run away, but I was wrong. She came back in with a camera and started taking pictures of me. She made me stand and walk for them again and do some poses while she took picture after picture.

I finally asked for a mirror. When I looked at the image that was reflecting back at me I fainted.

I woke up with my head in Jill's lap and her mother and Mrs. Cleveland fanning me. Are you okay? asked Mrs. Stein.

Uh...yeah.. I just got a little lite headed for a minute there, and then I remembered seeing the little girl in the mirror. I had a very feminine hair style with curls and bangs. How was I going to go to school like this! The guys will rip me apart like a piece of meat in a tiger cage. I liked it though, it was so pretty. The back was even and the bangs were even and curled under a little. As I looked at it I liked it more and more.

I sat up and Mrs. Cleveland looked at me and said, I can cut it all off if you want, but I don't want to. I think you are the prettiest little girl I have ever worked on.

Suddenly I filled with anxiety over whether to let her do it or keep it. I want to keep it please. I was shocked by what I saw. I'm sorry I acted so weak and fainted.

Mrs. Cleveland was the one that spoke up surprising me the most, Hon, you aren't weak at all. I have seen you over the past couple of years start to blossom into a responsible young person. I saw you stand up for your sister against unimaginable odds when she got into trouble. I know that you took the blame for her sticky fingers that time and paid a heavy toll for it. So I don't think you are weak at all. I wish that I could make this easier and I will try but you have just got to remember that you are the same inside, no matter what is on the outside.

Well said, I think we have a philosopher with us. Mrs. Stein exclaimed.

I got up and looked in the mirror again, but this time I liked what I saw and smiled for the first time in a long time. I helped clean up the kitchen and carry Mrs. Cleveland's bags out to her car for her. She stopped me and gave me a big hug. I expect to see you in my shop at least once a month no less and remember to use a conditioner on your hair.

Yes mam. and she was gone.

I didn't even realize that I still had the pumps on as I helped her with her bags. But when I walked back in the house Jill was giggling. David.... I don't want to have to call you that while we are doing this. How about if I call you Cynthia? Yeah I like that name. Hello Cynthia.

I like it too. I said. But why were you giggling?

You still have my shoes on. she said with a big smile.

I looked down and saw the white pumps, Oh no! I forgot. I'm so sorry. Wait, I hope no one saw me. I'm ruined if they did.

Too late, sweetheart beside I don't think anyone would recognize you like that. So I wouldn't worry. Well I think we have done enough tonight don't you. Come on I'll take you home. said Mrs. Stein.

That's alright, it's not far and I can walk home. I don't want to cause you any difficulties.

No, I think I had better take you home tonight. she said.

When we got to the house Mom and Mrs. Stein went into the living room and talked while Jill and I stayed in my bedroom. Cynthia, I want to thank you for a wonderful evening. I haven't had such fun in a long time.

Thanks, Jill. I want to thank you. I really appreciate how you are willing to help me through this.

CYNTHIA! What the hell is this? My sister Ellen exclaimed as she barged in on us. Why are you calling him Cynthia? His name is David.

I just call her that. Jill shot back.

Oh my god what has happened to your hair? Ellen said. Give me those scissors and she leapt over me trying to grab them. We wrestled for a minute until mom came in and pulled her off me. Mom just look at what the little sissy has done now." Ellen yelled.

Ellen I already know about it and we will discuss it later now go to your room. Mom said. Jill I am sorry for my daughter’s actions.

That's alright I guess it was a big shock to her. she replied. I know it was to me.

Mom went back to the living room and Jill and I sat in my room with the door open, talking. She was looking at the things that I kept there which wasn't much because I could only bear so much manly decorations. I wanted to paint my room a lite blue since it has been determined to produce a soothing emotion but dad hit the ceiling over that and I wound up with a brown color instead. I hated my room it was always dark and foreboding to me. It made me think that I was buried in dirt when I was in there. I guess that was why I slept on the couch a lot. The bed was one of those theme beds you see in the catalogs. Soldier Boy was this one and the mattress was as hard as a rock. The only thing I liked about it was the attached footlocker that I had put a lock on so I could keep my secrets out of sight and not worry about Ellen finding them.

Jill saw a note book marked feelings on my desk and asked what it was. I was reluctant to tell her, but what the heck she has pictures of me in heels. That is where I write down my thoughts in the evening before I go to bed.

May I?

Some of it's pretty embarrassing. I was trying to keep from letting her read it.

I won't laugh, I promise. as she crossed her heart. Pinky Promise. and we hooked pinkies.

She took it and started reading it. I saw her smile and then tears formed making me think that I had made a mistake then she jumped up and threw her arms around my neck and hugged me tight. I never knew. she muttered in my ear and then let go and took off down the hall to the living room.

I looked at the page she had just read.

September 23,

It has been three weeks since school started again. Today I was dumped in the trash can in the lunch line again for the fourth time. The teacher turned a blind eye to it though. When I got out finally, I went out back to hide out and was found by that ass John. He and his buddies kicked the shit out of me because I picked up Jill's pencil for her. Damn I can't even do something nice for someone without punishment. The only good thing about today was at least I was able to hold my own against that bigot until his buddies decided they wanted in on the fun.

Well that last statement wasn't completely true. When Jill smiled and said thank you for picking up her pencil my heart jumped up in my chest. She has to be the prettiest girl I have ever seen in real life or in