Butch Bros In Brooks Bros

By Skylar Philips

Brophy, Broda, and Brommer are the newest elites in their industries. Butch Bros In Brooks Bros is a collection of short stories about their pursuit of friendship, the same sex, and all other things awesome using their collective bro ways.

Stories are dedicated to all bros who are ready to be loved, bros who have loved and lost, bros who have loved so deeply that they fear to lose again, all femmes who these bros love, femmes who love bros, even femmes who torture bros with their eye language and summer dresses, and all those who are unwilling to be labeled and categorized.

Where there is light, there is love. Everywhere else, there is a bro willing to light a match for you.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Skylar Philips
• Release date: Jun 20, 2013
• ISBN: 9781301823574

Skylar Philips

Skylar Philips is a social scientist, double parker, passenger, nerd, prankster, thrill seeker, purveyor of les drôles choses and charming foe who never keeps still. She is author of "Butch Bros In Brooks Bros", collections of short stories. Skylar is not on social media and can be reached at [e-mail].

Book preview

Butch Bros In Brooks Bros

Brophy, Broda, and Brommer are the newest elites in their industries. Butch Bros in Brooks Bros is a collection of short stories about their pursuit of friendship, the same sex, and all other things awesome using their collective bro ways.

#queer #bromance

This book is dedicated to all bros who are ready to be loved, bros who have loved and lost, bros who have loved so deeply that they fear to lose again, all femmes who these bros love, femmes who love bros, even femmes who torture bros with their eye language and summer dresses, and all those who are unwilling to be labeled and categorized.

Where there is light, there is love. Everywhere else, there is a bro willing to light a match for you.

Smashwords Edition. Copyright 2013 by Skylar Philips.

All rights reserved.  For information about permission to reproduce selections from this book, email [e-mail].

Check out http://butchbrosinbrooks.com and follow @bromonal on Twitter.

Cover art and photography by Jacklyn Atlas.

Prologue

Mel and Brophy had been soulmates since they were assigned seats next to each other in grade eight French class. It was silly at first - Brophy was shy and studious while Mel was outgoing and spent most of French doodling on Brophy's hand to get her attention. They were paired again in grade nine Drama as Zeus and Io in Aeschylus' Prometheus Bound. Their mutual adoration grew from that point onwards as they serenaded each other on stage in unfettered lustful heifer Latin. As grade nine ended, their love transcended beyond language, beyond reason, and beyond the physical stratosphere. They spent every free second conspiring their futures together. Brophy would be a lawyer and Mel would be an artist. They would be each other's muse forever.

Time could be cruel, soulmates were not inseparable after all. On the day Brophy finished law school they split over a trivial argument neither could recall. They had never argued before that. They tried hard to reconcile their bond but the outcome of their disagreement was irrevocable although they agreed to remain close friends. Brophy watched as Mel started dating again. Mel started asking Brophy for relationship advice. At first reluctant to answer, Brophy could not spurn her former lover. The more she advised, the more Mel requested, and the more Brophy's heart crumbled. But she kept strong. She liked Mel's new girlfriend. Soon Mel got engaged. Once Brophy received news of her engagement, she decided to pour all her energy into her career as a way of numbing any need for intimacy.

Then the request came. Brophy was asked to be Mel's partner-to-be's Best Bro at her wedding. Brophy realized it was time for her to move on, which made her think...

Yes, it could be possible for Mel to introduce her to her cute single friends, but couldn't it be even more possible for her to bring a date to the wedding?

Chapter 1: Mandate Pre-Production

Holy fuck, YES! exclaimed Broda with such shriekness that the entire restaurant reverberated in affirmation. We are going to find you the most incredible, smartest, hottest women this city has got to offer! Her sudden exclamation was not in response to anything that was being discussed at the monthly lunch the three bro friends cleverly coordinated under the guise of world domination truthfully created as a commitment to group ponder about women issues despite their hectic schedules. Special guests were allowed as long as they were equally dedicated to the crucial discussions at hand.

Sorry. Who? What are you talking about? asked Brophy, trophy human rights lawyer of the affluently marginalized, eyeing her BlackBerry while working on a mouthful of half-chewed alfalfa miso tempeh which tasted more like pleather portobello patties covered in green creamy soy sauce. She never had a full meal without distractions from her boss' compulsive emailings. Her firm had recently cut their litigation team in half so she understood how privileged it was to stay employed. Plus she was eyeing partnership by thirty-two. Ambition came with devotion to confidently answering every fleeting thought her boss had within seconds.

We are going to find you a girlfriend, said Broda. Seriously dude. You're not going to meet anyone in the confines of your office where you spend almost all your waking hours. It is time to outsource! When Brommer first pointed out Broda's similarity to incorrigible womanizer Barney Stinson from the hit sitcom How I Met Your Mother, Broda's reaction was pure resentment. Since she was in a long-term monogamous relationship, she was always ecstatic to pass her psychology tips on to her bros and frequently behaved in womanizing ways to test her social theories. She had never considered herself a womanizer as her intent was never to break anyone's hearts. Broda met Brophy and Brommer a couple years ago at a bar hopping event as they hovered nervously around the same brunette who turned out to be one of Broda's junior associates. They would come to learn that Broda always had a steady stream of women prepared to follow her bidding in exchange for pep talks about their careers or market intelligence.

Brommer had her reservations. Having spent close to thirty years as a platinum star with her head wilfully stuck in books and calculators for achieving post-graduate degrees and accounting accreditations, she realized that her prime dating years were dissipating. She had the urge to abandon the goal of saving herself for her future wife and just offer any cute available femme the best hummer ever given. She had never given or received a hummer but was certain her skills were naturally superior. Broda's quest to get Brophy laid could consume the already lean sample space of eligible femmes thus producing a moral quandary for Brommer. Did Darwin not teach that survival of the fittest

Reviews for Butch Bros In Brooks Bros

[Sophonie Bazile · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

This book was so uncomfortable to read. The dialogue was stilted and unrealistic...at least I hope it's unrealistic; I suppose the inspiration had to come from somewhere. At multiple points in the story, I felt embarrassed to be a fem. It could have been a cute story but the execution was less than stellar. However, it is one of few lesbian fiction based on butch-fem relationships. That's the only reason it didn't get 1 star.