The Demons of War are Persistent

By AW Schade

A Personal Story of Prolonged PTSD

—A.W. Schade, USMC 1965/69

"Forty years have passed since my deployment as a combat Marine to Vietnam. However, only several years since I acknowledged my inability to continue suppressing the demons alone. Like many veterans, the “Demons” have haunted me through nightmares, altered personas and hidden fears.
Even as many veterans manage the demons’ onslaught successfully, millions survive in destitution, needless solitude and social disconnection. Scores consider themselves cowards, should they concede to the demons’ hold. Countless live in denial and loneliness, protecting their warrior’s pride. The most vulnerable— tormented by guilt and feeling forever alone — too often choose to “end” their lives."

[Published in the “Journal of Military Experience II” [July 2012 – all net sales proceeds goes to helping Veterans.] Also, it has been included in a brand-new college textbook titled “First-Person Accounts of Mental illness and Recovery” [August 2012]. This publication will be studied by new social workers, psychologists, etc., students embracing the viewpoint of the individual. Also by Nobel Prize-winning Journalist/Author Eric Newhouse on PsychologyToday.com]

• Language: English
• Publisher: AW Schade
• Release date: May 11, 2013
• ISBN: 9781301830053

AW Schade

Marine, Vietnam Veteran, Bank Manager, and over 30 successful years in corporate executive marketing, business development, operations and sales. Married, father of three sons, and grandfather to a granddaughter and three grandsons. I graduated from Syracuse University with a degree in Business Management. I wrote my first book; “Stop, before you lose your time, money and/or reputation” (in the wrong internet business) in 2002. Please be forewarned, it needs considerable revision, that maybe one day I will get to. My second book is the award winning, "Looking for God within the Kingdom of Religious Confusion," revised in 2010. An intriguing and educational ‘creative non-fictional' story of one man’s journey to find the truth about God. Passing through the mystical 'Gates of Abraham', he engages believers along the divergent roads of Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Secular and Spirituality beliefs. I have also written a few short stories, the most prominent to-date being “The Demons of War are Persistent.” A personal story, located on this site for comments and dialogue, of prolonged PTSD. Written to help veterans and families break the stigma of PTSD and seek help, instead of falling into the abyss of destitution or suicide. Other poems, short stories, articles, etc., will be added to this site on an ongoing basis.

Book preview

'The Demons of War are Persistent'

by AW Schade

Copyright: AW Schade 2013

Smashwords Edition

The Demons of War are Persistent

A Personal Story of Prolonged PTSD

—A.W. Schade, USMC 1965/69

Forty years have passed since my deployment as a combat Marine to Vietnam. However, only several years since I acknowledged my inability to continue suppressing the demons alone. Like many veterans, the Demons have haunted me through nightmares, altered personas, and hidden fears.

Even as many veterans manage the demons’ onslaught successfully, millions survive in destitution, needless solitude and social disconnection. Scores consider themselves cowards, should they concede to the demons’ hold. Countless live in denial and loneliness, protecting their warrior’s pride. The most vulnerable— tormented by guilt and feeling forever alone — too often choose to end their lives.

As friends and family gather to celebrate another joyful holiday, I am often depressed, reminded by vivid memories of lost friendships and battlefield carnage that erratically seeps from a vulnerable partition of my mind. The cerebral hiding place I concocted, decades before, as a mechanism to survive in society. I unwittingly clutch at a profound loneliness as I avoid searching for memories of my youthful years. If I dare to gaze into my past, I must transcend a cloak of darkness weaved to restrain the demons