Helpless Hearts- A Western Hearts Novel (Book 1)

By Lilly Gayle

Can a former gunslinger find redemption through love?

When the handsome new deputy rescues Juliana Jeffries from a runaway wagon, she realizes he’s the same man who stole her heart and then left town to avenge his father’s death years earlier. Now, she dreams of becoming a doctor and she’s obliged to marry Avery, a man with a secret she’s sworn to protect. Noah’s return could test her loyalty, her ambition, and her heart.

Former gunslinger Noah Sinclair returned home to regain his respectability. Instead of redemption, he finds temptation in the young girl he loved and lost. Despite his loyalty to his boss, Noah's Helpless Heart still yearns for Juliana—a woman with dreams and ambitions that don’t include a former gunslinger.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lilly Gayle
• Release date: Oct 12, 2012
• ISBN: 9781301586356

Lilly Gayle

Lilly Gayle is a wife, mother of two grown daughters, a grandmother, and a breast cancer survivor. She lives in North Carolina with her husband. When not working as an x-ray technologist and mammographer, Lilly writes paranormal and historical romances. She has eight books in print and is the VP of Communications for her local RWA chapter as well as the editor of her chapter’s newsletter.

Book preview

CHAPTER ONE

Redemption, Kansas March 1871

Noah Sinclair reverently touched the silver star pinned to his chest and stepped onto the porch. He wasn’t sheriff like his pa had been, but he didn’t mind being Avery’s deputy. He just hoped the good folks of Redemption would give him a chance to regain some respectability.

He sat in a cedar log chair outside the sheriff’s office. Regret shadowed his soul. He’d wasted so much time. If only he’d taken a different road, made different choices.

Leaning back on the rear legs he propped his feet on the porch rail and stared out over the town he’d once called home. The peaceful sounds of Redemption soothed his soul—the quiet clip-clopping of horses’ hooves on the dusty road, boot heels on planked sidewalks, and the friendly greetings exchanged by neighbors as they passed one another on the street. He wasn’t naive enough to think he’d never draw his gun again, but if he was wearing a badge, maybe one day, he could look himself in the mirror and not hate the man staring back from the other side.

A sudden burst of gunfire and the raucous shouts of drunken cowboys shattered his peaceful afternoon. Cursing, he shot to his feet.

With a seasoned gunfighter’s instincts, his hand went to the butt of his sidearm as several riders barreled around the corner, whooping and hollering like a bunch of damn fools. They shot their guns in the air as they raced after a young woman on a runaway buckboard.

Noah leapt over the rail and landed next to the hitching post. Diablo snorted and stomped his feet. Noah untied the horse’s reins and shoved his foot into the stirrup. He threw his other leg over his mount’s back and landed in the saddle with a spine-jarring thud. Then he turned Diablo’s head and pressed his heels into the horse’s flanks, spurring the animal forward.

The drunken riders rounded the bend. Noah galloped after them, his attention focused on the young woman desperately trying to control her runaway team. The buckboard bounced, tossing her about on the seat until the leather slipped from her gloved fingers. She screamed and grabbed the edge of the spring seat. Sacks and barrels went flying from the back of the wagon. The riders dodged the flying debris, firing their guns over the horses’ heads—terrifying the beasts and the woman holding on for dear life. Noah drew his Colt and aimed, shooting the gun from the nearest cowboy’s hand. Then he pulled the trigger again, hitting another rider in the arm. The second rider lost his balance and fell from the saddle.

As Noah gained on the third man, the cowboy turned and fired past Noah’s head. Noah shot him in the shoulder, disarming him. Then without a backward glance, he rode after the runaway wagon as it fast approached a bend in the road.

The horses were in full gallop, their eyes wild and nostrils flaring. If the animals took the turn too sharply, the wagon would overturn or break loose from the harnesses, bringing certain harm and possible death to the woman driving.

Noah pulled alongside the wagon. Determination sharpened his reflexes as he shoved his gun in the holster and stood up in the stirrups. Diablo’s long strides and pounding hooves jostled him. He took a deep breath, threw his leg over his mount’s back, and jumped.

His hat flew from his head. His butt landed on the hard wagon seat with enough force to jar his spine. Air exploded from his lungs. His jaw snapped closed, sending pain shooting down his neck and up into his skull. The woman bounced forward on the bench, her terrified scream drowned out by the din of pounding hooves.

Ignoring the pain in his back and neck, Noah grabbed her around the waist and slammed her back onto the seat before she could fall over the front of the wagon. Then he leaned precariously forward again and reached between the horses’ pounding hooves for the dangling reins.

Leather danced in the dirt, the jarring rhythm of the wagon making it nearly impossible to catch the thin straps. He stretched until it felt as if his shoulder would come out of the socket. His fingers curved around the reins. Grabbing hold, he slid back on the seat, taking up the slack. Then with a firm, steady pressure, he pulled the horses to a stop.

They pawed the dirt and tossed their heads, blowing hot air through flaring nostrils. White foam flecked their mouths. Their eyes were wild and frightened. Noah spoke soothingly to the agitated animals as he turned the wagon around and headed back toward the ruffians who’d caused the trouble.

Beside him, the woman held a gloved hand to her heaving breasts and gasped for air. Shoulders sagging, she turned to face him. Her eyes widened even further—if that were possible—and her jaw dropped.

Noah Sinclair, she said in a breathy whisper that jarred him as much as his plunge onto the hard bench seat. You saved my life.

Her voice trembled, as if she were afraid. Noah wasn’t sure if she was still shaken from the ordeal or if she were afraid of him. Since she seemed to know him without his having to introduce himself, he figured his less-than-spotless reputation had preceded him.

He gave her a stiff nod and pulled the wagon around to where the fallen cowboy still sprawled in the dirt, moaning from the wound in his arm. Noah recognized the leader of the ragtag gang as Ben Hawkins. He looked harmless enough now, but Hawkins was a mean drunk with a nasty temper. And his gun lay within easy reach.

Noah tied the reins to the brake handle and hopped down to the dusty street.

So much for wanting a fresh start in his hometown. If everyone in Redemption didn’t already know his unsavory reputation, they’d sure as hell hear about it after that stunning firearms demonstration.

Most folks seemed determined to hold his past against him, no matter what good deeds he might do in the future.

With an irritated grunt, he picked up his hat, slapped it against his thigh to shake off the dust, and rammed it back on his head. Then he walked up to the fallen cowboy and nudged him with his boot. Get your ass up and get out of town, Hawkins. And take your friends with you.

I’m dying, Sinclair. I can’t move. Hawkins clutched his arm to his side and rolled in the dirt in a fine, dramatic display of agony.

You ain’t dying. It’s just a flesh wound. Now grab your men and hightail it over to Baldwin City so the doc there can fix you up. I told you last week when you shot Hank Potter in the foot just to watch him dance that I wanted you and your sorry bunch out of Redemption. Don’t make me tell you again.

Hawkins groaned and scrambled to his feet. His cohorts had already rounded up their fallen weapons and were bringing their leader his horse. One wrapped a bandanna around his injured hand and held it gingerly to his chest. The other held pressure to the wound in his shoulder. Both glared from atop their horses. Noah only half noticed. The woman he’d just rescued drew his gaze as she climbed gracefully from the wagon as if she were stepping down from a fancy Surrey instead of a buckboard.

You’re a hard man, Sinclair, the man with the shoulder wound said.

Why can’t the doc here fix us up? Hawkins asked as he picked up his gun and shoved it into his holster before cautiously pulling himself up into the saddle.

Noah turned his full attention back to Hawkins. Redemption doesn’t have a real sawbones. Sheriff Martin’s fiancée treats the locals, but I wouldn’t ask her to treat scum like you even if I knew where to find her.

The woman stepped closer. I can take a look at their wounds if you want me too, Noah. He jerked his head around and looked down at her upturned face.

You’re Avery’s fiancée? She looked young enough to be his daughter.

Dirt smudged her left cheek and one cinnamon brown curl fluttered about her face in the breeze as sea-green eyes stared up at him with innocence and something akin to hero worship. There was something familiar about her—something that tugged at long-buried memories.

She nodded. Thank you for rescuing me.

Her sweet voice tugged at his conscience. Too bad, he couldn’t have rescued her without bloodshed, but a leopard couldn’t change his spots, even if he wanted to.

I might wear a badge, but I’m still nothing more than a gunslinger.

Tearing his gaze away from those innocent eyes, he looked at Hawkins. Seeing as how you almost killed the closest thing to a doctor this town has and her being the sheriff’s woman and all, I’m not about to let her treat you. But I will give you five seconds to ride out of town.

Ah, come on Sinclair, Hawkins whined. My boys and me didn’t mean no harm. His eyes shifted between Noah and his two companions, a silent signal Noah couldn’t ignore.

Noah raised his sidearm. Don’t try it Hawkins. Just ride out of town and don’t make me shoot you again.

For the love of God, man, we’re bleeding!

I said ride out. Noah stepped in front of Avery’s woman, placing his body between her and Hawkins. He didn’t want to pull the trigger but if he had to, he would.

Still, justifying a man’s death didn’t make the guilt easier to bear.

You’re no fun at all now that you went and put on a badge, Hawkins said. Then he nodded to his men and the gang galloped away.

Noah released a pent up breath. Tension drained from his neck and shoulders. When the riders were out of sight, he holstered his weapon.

That’s one less death on my conscience.

Would one less matter? Ghosts would still haunt his dreams. So many lives taken in senseless gunfights—and the war.

He turned toward Avery’s fiancée. You all right?

Her shoulders sagged on a sigh. I’m glad you didn’t kill them.

He should have known a gentle woman would expect an ex-gunfighter to shoot first and talk later. But had he really expected any more of himself?

Yeah, well, Hawkins and his men get a little wild when they drink. They don’t mean no harm. But one day, their wild antics would get them killed.

Then maybe they should stop drinking, she said, sounding as prim and proper as a preacher’s wife.

Noah smiled and nudged her toward the wagon. I’ll send some men around to gather your packages and deliver them to your house later. You go on home and get yourself cleaned up.

All right.

Up you go. He lifted her onto the wagon seat and then whistled for Diablo. The horse trotted over, eager for a caress.

Noah patted his neck and then pulled himself up in the saddle before tipping his hat to the damsel he’d just rescued. Ma’am.

Noah? she asked, her voice shy and hesitant.

Yeah?

Would you like to come for supper tonight? Avery will be eating with me, and I’m sure he’d love for you to join us.

We’ll see. With a curt nod, he turned Diablo’s head toward town.

The back of the jail was stifling hot when Noah returned. He’d fired up the potbellied stove earlier to make coffee. The black sludge in the bottom of the pot was now strong enough to walk around the room by itself, but that was just the way he liked it. He took a cautious sip and stepped around the corner just as Avery ws coming into the front office of the jail.

Heard there was a ruckus in town a while ago, Avery said as he hung his hat up by the door.

Noah eyed his boss over the rim of his cup and took another swallow before replying. Hawkins and his men started trouble. I finished it.

Fair fight?

It chafed his hide that Avery thought he had to ask. Then again, Noah didn’t have the best of reputations. I didn’t kill anybody if that’s what you mean, but you can always ask your fiancée if you don’t believe me.

Avery jerked as if he’d taken a bullet in the back. Then he stepped behind his desk and lowered himself into the seat. He picked up a stack of papers, his fingers nervously strumming the edges as if they were guitar strings. His eyes shifted warily, unable to meet Noah’s gaze. Anna was there?

You got another fiancée I don’t know about? Noah didn’t know much about this one, except she was too young for Avery. And pretty enough to turn a man’s head. Even a man who shouldn’t be looking. And Noah shouldn’t be looking.

Avery was his boss and his friend. He'd saved him during the war and again when he’d offered him this job. If not for Avery, Noah would still be working as a hired gun with no chance for redemption.

Avery dropped the papers and folded his hands on top of the stack. Was she hurt?

No. Just a bit shook up is all. Noah waited, half-expecting Avery to spring to his feet and demand an accounting.

Instead, he lowered his lids and fidgeted once more with the papers on his desk. She say anything?

Noah drew his brows together and assessed his old friend the way he would an opponent in a gunfight. A muscle ticked in Avery’s jaw, and the side of his mouth twitched, but he didn’t raise his head or his eyes.

Something is definitely making him nervous.

She invited me to supper. I said I’d check with you, Noah said.

Avery cleared his throat and raised his chin but he still didn’t make eye contact. You’re more than welcome to join us.

It didn’t seem like a sincere invitation but Noah wasn’t about to turn it down. After the grub he’d been eating at the saloon, a home cooked meal sounded like heaven. And he’d like just one more glimpse of that green-eyed angel, even if he couldn’t have her.

He glanced down at his dusty brown trousers and dirty boots, a frown tugging the corners of his mouth downward. Guess if I’m going to be around a lady tonight I ought to mosey on over to the bathhouse and get cleaned up.

Fine. Meet me back here at six. Avery picked up the papers on his desk again and rifled through them. Noah got the distinct impression he wasn’t really seeing them.

When Avery looked back down at his desk, showing no inclination to continue their conversation, Noah shook his head and headed toward the back of the jail.

Avery lived in an apartment above the jail but there wasn’t a spare bedroom so Noah slept on a cot in back. In some strange way, it seemed fitting, considering his past.

Noah grabbed a clean shirt and trousers from a saddlebag beneath the cot and then headed out the door and across the street to Rosie’s Bathhouse. After paying fifteen cents for first-use water, he stripped out of his dirty clothes and sank into the copper tub.

Rosie’s girls gathered in the back to giggle and watch him bathe. He smiled over his shoulder but offered no other encouragement.

The first night he was in town, Charity had not only scrubbed his back but his nether regions as well. Afterward, Noah followed her up to her room and she did other things to that part of his anatomy that put a smile on his face and a spring in his step.

Two nights ago, he thought he’d be back for more. Now, he couldn’t get a pair of green eyes out of his head. Green eyes that looked hauntingly familiar—eyes that belong to another man’s woman. His boss’s fiancée.

Damn. He’d come home to find redemption and he’d found temptation instead.

I’m going to hell for sure, he grumbled, and with a frustrated groan, he slid beneath the water’s surface.

CHAPTER TWO

Juliana Jeffries was a nervous wreck. Avery had stopped by the house to check on her after the incident in town but he seemed distant and out of sorts. He was thoughtful enough to let her know Noah had accepted her supper invitation. Then he left without eating his lunch, hat in hand and head hanging as if he’d just lost his best friend—or his fiancée. Guilt niggled at her conscience.

What was I thinking? she said aloud as she moved the potatoes to the back of the stove to keep them from burning. Inviting Noah Sinclair to supper is just asking for trouble.

Chastising herself under her breath, she stirred the green beans and replaced the lid. Then she pulled the apple pie from the oven, breathing in warm, cinnamon-laced air as she put the pie on the windowsill to cool. She’d just finished setting her good china plates on the kitchen table when she heard two sets of boots on the back porch. Her heart jumped.

Any second now, Noah would walk through the back door and—

He’d walk through the back door with Avery. Her fiancé. A knot formed in the pit of her stomach.

Fighting a wave of nausea, she held a fist to her chest and turned as Noah came through the door. Avery followed on his heels.

Ma’am. Noah swept off his hat and nodded. His blond hair brushed his wide shoulders as hooded dark eyes curiously scanned the room.

Disappointment pricked her heart. Her stomach dropped. Noah still didn’t recognize her. Even seeing her in her father’s house, he didn’t seem to know who she was.

Tears stung her eyes. Noah had left Redemption when she was just sixteen, but he saw her two years later at Baxter Springs where she’d assisted her father in the medical tents. It hadn’t been so long ago. Had it? She was only twenty-four. Had she really changed all that much in six and a half years?

She bit her lip and blinked to clear her blurring vision. She supposed the war had aged her. Physically. Mentally. There were days when she felt ancient. But Noah looked the same. His sandy hair was still sun streaked with blond and his brown eyes still contrasted sharply with his lighter brows. There were a few wrinkles around his eyes and his skin wasn’t quite as smooth as it had been when he was twenty-three, but he was still just as broad-shouldered and handsome as ever.

She forced a smile and pretended his not remembering her didn’t prick her pride.

I’m glad you came, she said. Then she turned back to the stove, ignoring her fiancé completely. For the life of her, she couldn’t think of the first thing to say to Avery.

From the corner of her eye, she watched him hang his hat on the peg by the door. Noah hung his hat beside it.

Smells good, Anna. Avery walked up behind her and placed a kiss on her cheek. Juliana tensed. Avery never kissed her in front of people. She got the impression he did so now to make a point. But what point was he making? And to whom?

Have a seat Avery, Noah. I hope you don’t mind eating in the kitchen. But it’s warmer in here than in the dining room, and it’s still so cool in the evenings. I declare, I just don’t think spring’s ever going to get here.

Even before she shut her mouth, Juliana felt the sting of heat in her cheeks. She always babbled when she was nervous—and Noah Sinclair was twisting her into anxious knots.

She picked up the platter of ham to carry it to the table but Avery took it from her hands before she took two steps.

Here. Let me take this for you, honey, he said with a tense smile. His endearment was as uncharacteristic as his attentiveness.

For the most part, Avery treated her more like a daughter than a fiancée. Now, for Noah’s benefit, he was playing the part of devoted suitor.

Thank you, she said, nearly choking on the words.

Noah took a step toward her. Can I help with anything?

No. Thank you. Just have a seat. Her knees trembled as she removed the rest of the food from the stove, but Noah and Avery took each dish from her hands and carried them to the table for her as if they were lead weights instead of ceramic dishes.

She dared a glance at Avery and wished she hadn’t. He looked as miserable as she felt. Then she looked at Noah. Their eyes met, and her heart rose into her throat and stayed there.

She really did have angel eyes, Noah thought as he met Juliana’s gaze. Avery called her Anna but she had to be Juliana. This was Doc Jeffries’ house and those were Juliana’s eyes. Only Juliana was no longer the scrawny teenager he remembered kissing on the cheek that long-ago summer day.

Could this tall woman with the angelic face and shapely curves be his little Juliana? The one he’d been waiting on to grow up? The one he’d thought to court before outlaws took his father’s life and he took the law into his own hands?

He studied her flushed face as Avery pulled out her chair and she took her seat. Then Avery sat across from her and Noah sat between them. After Avery said grace, he filled his plate and passed the food to Noah. Noah took a bite and looked up.

It’s good, he said.

Juliana ducked her chin, a serene smile on her sweet face. Thank you. I also have apple pie for dessert. I remembered how much you like it.

Juliana remembered him. Then why hadn’t she said anything? Why hadn’t Avery? Something was out of kilter. Juliana was blushing like a bride, but Avery looked about as green as a kid with his first chaw of tobacco.

Noah rubbed his jaw. Well, I do I like apple pie. Avery must know more about me than I thought ‘cause I don’t recollect mentioning my dessert preference.

The color staining Juliana’s cheeks deepened. Oh, Avery didn’t tell me. I remembered you liked apple pie because my mother fixed it for you after you rescued me.

Juliana Jeffries, he said softly. She was the same young girl he’d known in his youth.

She leaned against the table and smiled sweetly, her delicate wrists resting on either side of her plate. Avery reached for her hand, and Juliana jumped as if burned.

Anna is Doc Jeffries’ girl. I thought you knew. He curved his hand over hers. She relaxed her fingers beneath his touch, but the tension in the room was almost palpable.

Noah looked from Juliana to Avery and back again. I heard you and Doc Jeffries left town after Baxter Springs. That’s why he hadn’t come home after the war. With his father dead and Juliana gone, there was no reason to return to Redemption.

A shadow passed over Juliana’s delicate features. Papa went where he was needed during the war, but Redemption has always been home.

Noah remembered the way his pulse leapt when he saw her bandaging soldiers at the field hospital in Baxter Springs the day he carried Avery in with a bullet wound to the shoulder. Juliana had been too engrossed in her work to notice one tattered and bloodied soldier standing in the shadows near his captain. She’d been an earthbound angel and he’d worried constantly about her safety until Buster Crane, one of Redemption’s native sons, said she and the doc had left town for good.

"So, I guess you and the doc came back to

Reviews for Helpless Hearts- A Western Hearts Novel (Book 1)

[rbooth43 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Lilly Gayle has written another blockbuster book titled HELPLESS HEARTS. This time she has written a romantic western that has all the elements that will keep the reader spell-bound from the first page to the last and still wanting more. Lilly Gayle tells a story of the American frontier of the Old West with true outlaws, such as the Younger and James gangs and of a fictional gunslinger, a doctor's assistant, a sheriff, and an outcast young mother due to a rape. Their lives are entwined with realistic hardships and challenges. The book begins with an old-fashion gunfire by some drunken cowboys and a young woman on a runaway buckboard. The woman is Juliana Rogers, the sheriff's fiancee, and her rescuer, the sheriff's deputy, Noah Sinclair. Noah comes back to his hometown, Redemption, and works for the sheriff and his best friend, Avery. He had left town hunting for his father's murderer and due to the circumstances became a gunslinger. Juliana was a young lass who worked with her father as a medical assistant during the Civil War. She fell in love with Noah all those years ago, and now he has rescued her from the drunken cowboys. During his traveling the west, Noah had crossed paths with the James and Younger gangs. Word had spread that the Younger gang was in the territory. Noah decided to find and join the gang, so that he could discover their plans. After he headed out on this mission, Juliana was kidnapped by the Younger gang. Here's an excerpt from HELPLESS HEARTS: Avery reached for the folded paper with a shaking hand. He blinked several times and then handed the note back to Noah. "Just tell me," he said with a weary sigh. "I can't seem to focus on the words." Noah took the note and slid it into his pocket. The Youngers have her, Cole says he'll release her unharmed if you leave the town unprotected for the next twenty-four hours. This storyline becomes a thrill-seeker, a very romantic conflict between Noah, Juliana, Avery, and Natalie. What an astounding action-packed read that kept me throughly entertained, just as I have in reading every book that Lilly has written.