If Only

By Ann Ritchie Domela

Katherine Watson was guilty of a youthful marriage, too quick with the wrong man and soon forgotten. She was also guilty of settling for a marriage of security, but lacking in love. While vacationing at the world famous Madonna Inn, she meets up with an old flame from a love that was doomed to fail. Is true love ever possible after all her mistakes? Is it possible to re-kindle the flame that burned in her heart? They have both changed in the many years. And they are both hiding secrets. Hers is one of deception that could ruin their relationship while his could cost Katherine her life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Ann Ritchie Domela
• Release date: Nov 28, 2011
• ISBN: 9781452499444

Ann Ritchie Domela

I as born Ann Ritchie (now Domela)in the beautiful city of Boston with the strong desire to become an author, to see my name in print and the dream to have long lines of people waiting for my autograph. Like all too many, the dream stayed in the fantasy category until my six children were grown and I was officially retired from the work place. There had already been many successful attempts to get published in magazines in newspapers. And even one event where a long line of people stood in line for my autograph for a newspaper article. But a book? a few friends encouraged her to "just go for it". She did. First was Triangle of Fear. It started as a contemporary book, but the main character forced her to take it back to the end of the Civil War. then Fall of Fear, Banned in Boston and If Only. Currently on Smashwords is the latest, What If. I am currently working on a sequel to Banned as well as book on the Civil War. I am also traveling all over the United States offering free lectures to assist others who have the same dream. For more info or comments please send me an email at [e-mail]. You may also order hard copies of my books from [e-mail]

Book preview

If Only

(A Romance at the Madonna Inn)

On the Central Coast of California

Ann S.(Ritchie) Domela

Ann Ritchie (Domela) was born in Boston, with the lifelong desire to be a writer. If Only is the third book of four written with a fifth in the works. The first is Triangle of Fear, the second Fall of Fear. The third is Banned in Boston, all written under the name, Ann Ritchie. If Only is the fourth with a fifth, a sequel to Banned almost complete and yet another romance in the works.

Book Summary

If you’ve ever been in love or especially fallen in love for the second time around, this book is for you. Katherine Watson is vacationing at the unique hotel in mid California where she had planned to go with her now deceased husband. It is there she meets an old love. Each of them is hiding a secret. Hers is one of deception that could destroy their relationship. His could cost Katherine her life.

This book is dedicated to Alex and Phyllis Madonna who followed their dream.

Copyright © 2010 by Ann S. (Ritchie) Domela

All rights reserved. No part of this book or disc may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters,, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously with the exception of places used in the book by permission of the owner’s or their agents of those establishments. Any resemblance to any actual persons living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

This book was printed in the United States of America. This disc was produced in the United States of America.

Smashwords edition

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Table of Contents

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter One

It really wasn’t fair for all this exquisite scenery to taunt her with it's’ serenity and beauty when she was at one of the lowest ebbs of her life. Frank’s death had come too soon, too sudden, without a hint of warning, after less than twenty years of what had been considered a reasonably good marriage. Katherine Watson was well.., too young to be a widow, but ill prepared to face the rest of her life alone, so very much alone. Tears escaped the hazel green eyes and coursed down the makeup-less cheeks as she thought of the years of empty hours, days, and endless months ahead. The logistic part of her mind knew that she should be grateful for the frugal way Frank had planned for almost any eventuality. There were sufficient funds on which to live if she were careful and worked at least part time. Work might, at least, help to kill the long, very lonely hours. Their home, no, it was her home now, was free and clear from payments. In fact, there were few debts to pay, but the minimal insurance wouldn’t last forever. Even Frank hadn’t planned on leaving her that unexpectedly. His plan had been to increase the insurance and start a savings account before his demise, something, on which she could live well without him. But, his sudden death from a heart attack a few days from his fiftieth birthday came all too soon. Her emotional side argued that both of her daughters were grown with no real needs that they couldn’t handle. Neither one especially didn’t desire a mother looking for someone about which to care. Was this what would be termed the empty nest syndrome? Whatever it was, she was feeling so completely useless with very few fond memories to tide her over the solitary times.

Frank had been so engrossed in his work, somewhat of a workaholic, but he had faithfully promised that someday, they could take time to start enjoying their golden years. Some day never came, nor if she would admit it, she knew it never would have come at all. Her husband had loved his job and spent most of his time working as much as he could. It hadn’t mattered too much when she was busy being the best mother she knew how. But after her daughters had gone out on their own, Katherine had begun to really learn the meaning of being alone.

When she had begged Frank to take a little time off, he always put her off. No, not now. I have things to finish first. There were always the things to do, time for his job, but never for his family. That was Katherine’s job, to care for the home, raise the children, do what a good wife should do."

Perhaps she should go back to the vague dream of learning how to improve her painting skills, if it wasn’t too late in her life. In her heart, even the attempt at the art would be forced, as would the façade of happiness and independence, but she wouldn’t allow Beth or Jesey to feel sorry for her, enough to offer to give up their own youthful freedom. Katherine knew that deep down she was just plain lonely, not so much for a man, but for a companion and friend, as her husband should have been. There was no way she would submit to her feelings of abandonment and be so asinine as to accept the first offer she might get, if any. In some of her few friends, that foolishness had proved disastrous. This past miserable year, she had quickly learned, as had some acquaintances, that widows were not well accepted in society, as if widowhood were a contagious disease. Although it was a shock, it had appeared to be some unwritten law. While she did have a few friends of her own, suddenly she was not invited to anything, barely acknowledged. Her married friends seemed to fear that her being a widow might make her a threat. Single friends? She just never had any. Frank frowned at that. Hopefully, although she knew this vacation was a luxury she could little afford, it might help her sort out her thoughts and she might find a real zest for life. When Beth was home, at least she pretended she needed a mom. Jesey found it more difficult to even pretend. She was almost too independent, although both girls had been brought up that way. With Frank gone, her children on their own, daily life had become drab, an almost useless passing of time. Kathy had found herself cleaning the house and garage, putting things almost in alphabetical order until there was nothing more she could do, except repeat the process. There had to be a way to find some semblance of happiness and self-worth.

It would have been criminal to shut the windows of Frank’s deep blue Dodge Stealth and not thoroughly enjoy the cool ocean breezes stirring up her dark auburn hair. It wasn’t actually her real hair color; that had changed so often she had almost forgotten the shade it had been. If memory served, it had once been sort of a mousy tone, like the owner. At first, coloring had been for enhancement until it was needed to cover up the few gray hairs, which still had a strong tendency to seek their way to visibility. Deep hazel green eyes took in the view of the powerful waves crashing on the almost perfect beach, some rock, some sand, while some form of sea life played on the massive brown rocks just back from the shore. Never had Kathy recalled seeing such a vivid blue sky or an ocean so thrilling to view, the sight of which exhilarated her to goose bumps. A thousand words couldn’t describe this wonder. Katherine wondered why she had waited so many years to return to the thrill of the ocean.

In spite of his job, Frank had always promised her that some distant day they would take a vacation by the ocean, away from their safe nest in Arizona. It wasn’t as if they had lived that far away, but Frank had been content with the Grand Canyon in their back yard, a trip they had taken on rare occasions. It had only been a thirty-minute drive to Williams where they boarded the steam train to the Grand Canyon. Come to think of it, that had been one of their few real pleasures. That too had been a breathtaking view that had mesmerized her soul, as did this exciting view.

Frank had been a toolmaker inspector which had offered him enough of a challenge as well as enough money on which to live comfortably with very little set aside for their future, but that would be many years away. There was plenty of time to do all the things they had planned and still save for that far away day. Unfortunately, there hadn’t been the anticipated plenty of time. Katherine had been reasonably content to just be a homemaker and raise her children. Beth was winning awards in journalism school and ecstatic in her new found independence. Jesey had won all kinds of scholarships for tennis and was excelling in college and in her first year. Once, many long years ago, Kathy had dreamed of becoming an artist, but she had never taken time away from her busy schedule of motherhood to fulfill her aspirations. Now that Frank was gone, she was determined to complete as many dreams as she could while there was enough money and before she would go as suddenly as had her husband. His death had proved to her that life was too uncertain to waste waiting for that elusive dream.

Why is it, she thought, that we always hear about life is so short, and no one does anything about it. She wasn’t the only one she knew who waited for the right time to go forth with their dreams, go places, do things. There isn’t that time, she wanted to shout to her friends. Why are you waiting? Why did I think there was all the time in the world?

Years ago, she had read about the famous Madonna Inn just inland from the California coast half way between San Francisco and Los Angeles. A flight would have taken her to either major city in no time and a commuter plane would have taken her close to the hotel. Although it would have been a brief trip, Kathy had decided to drive using Frank’s beloved car. It was almost as if he were accompanying her on the vacation. That blue Dodge Stealth, his middle age crisis car was what she had called it. Frank had explained in detail that this would be his last new car and it would have to last for years with special care. Vivid, deep almost electric blue, sun roof, every option available, Frank had cleaned and polished it almost every day, even buying an expensive special electric polisher to maintain its’ high gloss. Even in their rare arguments, Frank would quickly walk away to the garage to tenderly care for the real love of his life. She never talked back to him, just held him in her dark blue leather arms and comforted him. Unlike Kathy, who hated wearing makeup and keeping her hair in a tight French twist upon which Frank had strongly suggested, the Stealth thrived with her constant upkeep. Kathy had considered jealous thoughts against Frank’s blue princess, but she knew how ridiculous that would sound to anyone in their right mind.

It had not originally been part of the plan to take the car on her vacation, as she had planned to drive her old sensible Oldsmobile. But, old sensible was in the repair shop, as usual. Reservations confirmed, plans made, Kathy had no choice but to take the blue princess. At least it gave her some relief from the guilt she felt in some way. It seemed as if Frank was right along side of her enjoying the stimulating view. She could hear his stern voice, Watch the road, not the scenery. The speed limit is 55, not 59, not 60, but 55. For a moment she glanced over to the passenger seat to see if he was actually there.

The day was perfect; the weather was perfect, even the temperature was just right for an early day in spring. It was sunny enough to be somewhat warm, but breezy enough to need her light gray car coat, a perfect match to her new dark gray pants suit. In spite of watching her pennies, Kathy had felt it necessary to purchase some new things for her vacation. Beth had tried to get her to purchase some brightly colored things, younger styled, but she had refused. She was, after all, a widow.

The place known as Pismo Beach off to her left, as she drove north to her final destination, was a resplendent sight. Only a few stalwart surfers dared venture out to ride those immense waves. Kathy didn’t know what would make the waves the best for surfing, but then she would never find that out. Her only sporting activity was her daily fight with the house to maintain cleanliness, a fight that she never seemed