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    The Holes Around Mars
    The Holes Around Mars
    The Holes Around Mars
    Ebook50 pages31 minutes

    The Holes Around Mars

    By Jerome Bixby

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    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherArchive Classics
    Release dateNov 27, 2013
    The Holes Around Mars
    Author

    Jerome Bixby

    Drexel Jerome Lewis Bixby (January 11, 1923 – April 28, 1998) was an American short story writer and scriptwriter. He wrote the 1953 story "It's a Good Life" which was the basis for a 1961 episode of The Twilight Zone and which was included in Twilight Zone: The Movie (1983). He also wrote four episodes for the Star Trek series: "Mirror, Mirror", "Day of the Dove", "Requiem for Methuselah", and "By Any Other Name". With Otto Klement, he co-wrote the story upon which the science fiction movie Fantastic Voyage (1966), television series, and novel by Isaac Asimov were based. Bixby's final produced or published work so far was the screenplay for the 2007 science fiction film The Man from Earth. He also wrote many westerns and used the pseudonyms Jay Lewis Bixby, D. B. Lewis, Harry Neal, Albert Russell, J. Russell, M. St. Vivant, Thornecliff Herrick and Alger Rome (for one collaboration with Algis Budrys).

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      Book preview

      The Holes Around Mars - Jerome Bixby

      The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Holes Around Mars, by Jerome Bixby

      This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with

      almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or

      re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included

      with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org

      Title: The Holes Around Mars

      Author: Jerome Bixby

      Release Date: May 13, 2010 [EBook #32360]

      Language: English

      *** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE HOLES AROUND MARS ***

      Produced by Greg Weeks and the Online Distributed

      Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net

      Transcriber's note:

      This etext was produced from Galaxy Science Fiction January 1954. Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.

      The holes around Mars

      By JEROME BIXBY

      Science said it could not be,

      but there it was. And whoosh—look out—here

      it is again!

      Illustrated by DICK FRANCIS

      Spaceship crews should be selected on the basis of their non-irritating qualities as individuals. No chronic complainers, no hypochondriacs, no bugs on cleanliness—particularly no one-man parties. I speak from bitter experience.

      Because on the first expedition to Mars, Hugh Allenby damned near drove us nuts with his puns. We finally got so we just ignored them.

      But no one can ignore that classic last one—it's written right into the annals of astronomy, and it's there to stay.

      Allenby, in command of the expedition, was first to set foot outside the ship. As he stepped down from the airlock of the Mars I, he placed that foot on a convenient rock, caught the toe of his weighted boot in a hole in the rock, wrenched his ankle and smote the ground with his pants.

      Sitting there, eyes pained behind the transparent shield of his oxygen-mask, he stared at the rock.

      It was about five feet high. Ordinary granite—no special shape—and several inches below its summit, running straight through it in a northeasterly direction, was a neat round four-inch hole.

      "I'm upset by the hole thing," he grunted.

      The rest of us scrambled out of the ship and gathered around his plump form. Only one or two of us winced at his miserable double pun.

      Break anything, Hugh? asked Burton, our pilot, kneeling beside him.

      Get out of my way, Burton, said Allenby. You're obstructing my view.

      Burton blinked. A man constructed of long bones and caution, he angled out of the way, looking around to see what he was obstructing view of.

      He saw the rock and the round hole through

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