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    Attention Saint Patrick
    Attention Saint Patrick
    Attention Saint Patrick
    Ebook49 pages37 minutes

    Attention Saint Patrick

    By Bernklau and Murray Leinster

    3/5

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    Read preview
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherArchive Classics
    Release dateMay 1, 2011
    Attention Saint Patrick

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    • 3/5
      What happens when the Irish colonize a distant planet? Why, shenanigans, of course! On the planet Eire, metal-eating creatures called dinies have all but destroyed homes, tools, and farm equipment, but the chairman overseeing the colony from Earth, Sean O'Donohue, won't have it. The colony's inadequate progress must be due to its worthless, lazy inhabitants and, you guessed it, their shenanigans! Just wait until he learns about the snakes that the colonists use to keep the dinies under control. You know, the snakes that Saint Patrick drove out of Ireland back on Earth. On Eire, it was another Patrick who brought the snakes to the grateful colonists, but don't tell that to O'Donohue. An amusing little SF comedy that proves the luck of the Irish extends across the cosmos.

    Book preview

    Attention Saint Patrick - Bernklau

    Project Gutenberg's Attention Saint Patrick, by William Fitzgerald Jenkins

    This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with

    almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or

    re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included

    with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org

    Title: Attention Saint Patrick

    Author: William Fitzgerald Jenkins

    Release Date: November 10, 2007 [EBook #23439]

    Language: English

    *** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ATTENTION SAINT PATRICK ***

    Produced by Greg Weeks, Bruce Albrecht and the Online

    Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net

    Transcriber's Note:

    This etext was produced from Astounding Science Fiction, January, 1960. Extensive research did not reveal any evidence that the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.

    Minor typographical errors have been corrected without note. Dialect spellings, contractions and discrepancies have been retained.

    ATTENTION

    SAINT PATRICK

    BY MURRAY LEINSTER

    (Pseudonym of William Fitzgerald Jenkins)

    Illustrated by Bernklau

    Legends do, of course, get somewhat distorted in the passage of time. In the future, the passage across space to other planets may cause a slight modification here and there ...

    President O'Hanrahan of the planetary government of Eire listened unhappily to his official guest. He had to, because Sean O'Donohue was chairman of the Dail—of Eire on Earth—Committee on the Condition of the Planet Eire. He could cut off all support from the still-struggling colony if he chose. He was short and opinionated, he had sharp, gimlet eyes, he had bristling white hair that once had been red, and he was the grandfather of Moira O'Donohue, who'd traveled to Eire with him on a very uncomfortable spaceship. That last was a mark in his favor, but now he stood four-square upon the sagging porch of the presidential mansion of Eire, and laid down the law.

    I've been here three days. he told the president sternly, while his granddaughter looked sympathetic, and I'm of the opinion that there's been shenanigans goin' on to keep this fine world from becoming' what it was meant for—a place for the people of Eire on Earth to emigrate to when there was more of them than Erin has room for. Which is now!

    We've had difficulties—— began the president uneasily.

    This world should be ready! snapped Sean O'Donohue accusingly. "It should be waitin' for the Caseys and Bradys and Fitzpatricks and other fine Erse people to move to and thrive on while the rest of the galaxy goes to pot with its new-fangled notions. That's the reason for this world's very existence. What set aside Erin on Earth, where our ancestors lived an' where their descendants are breathin' down each other's necks because there's so many of them? There was no snakes there! St. Patrick drove them out. What sets this world apart from all the other livable planets men have put down their smelly spaceships on? There's no snakes here! St. Patrick has great influence up in Heaven. He knew his fine Erse people would presently need more room than there was on Earth for them. So he'd a world set aside, and

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