Everand Logo

Welcome to Everand!

  • Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

    Only $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

    Collector's Item
    Collector's Item
    Collector's Item
    Ebook83 pages58 minutes

    Collector's Item

    By Ed Emshwiller and Evelyn E. Smith

    ()

    Read preview
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherArchive Classics
    Release dateSep 1, 2010
    Collector's Item

    Read more from Ed Emshwiller

    Related to Collector's Item

    Related ebooks

    Related podcast episodes

    Related articles

    • Article

      Meat is Meat

      Feb 10, 2024

      “Doctor…” “Yes, Captain?” Circling like a typhoon, the captain paced around the catch, her boots crunching on the scattered scales as though on shards of broken crockery. She maintained her distance with a learned suspicion, ready to jerk away should

      15 min read

    • Article

      The Bargain

      Dec 10, 2022

      “Which one of you owns G2V3889?” Cygnus glided through a luminescent star field suspended in the center of an otherwise dark, oblong studio, then turned in a slow circle to survey the twenty Agents surrounding him. “Come on, speak up.” Vega shuddered

      16 min read

    • Article

      The Philosopher King of the Hoverflies: A roving meditation on nature, literature, and the joy of collecting flies.

      Mar 12, 2015

      As I now live on an island in the sea and am not an expert on anything but hoverflies, we will simply have to start there. In short, my artistic sense remained relatively undeveloped, and my past, as always, caught up with me. When anyone asked, ther

      26 min read

    • Article

      The Dragon’s Blood

      Sep 18, 2021

      The Dragon’s Blood
      5 min read

    • Article

      Muse Mail

      Feb 1, 2023

      Hi Muse!ÄThis is the second email that I’ve sent to Muse. This is kind of urgent. The Space Patrol dragons detected an unknown substance coming from the Milky Way. It’s floating to my world, and it seems to be gathering heat from the stars (including

      5 min read

    • Article

      Cliffhanger

      Sep 1, 2019

      Cliffhanger
      7 min read

    • Article

      In Search Of ...

      Apr 1, 2019

      Fifteen-year-old Tay lives on Rannoch, a distant planet covered with water, where undersea pods or living chambers provide life support for up to three people—usually two adults and one child. Tay learns that her parents are expecting another child a

      8 min read

    • Article

      River’s Edge

      Nov 30, 2022

      River’s Edge
      2 min read

    • Article

      Commonplace Book

      Mar 4, 2024

      To Err Is Human; to Forgive, Supine —S. J. Perelman, Baby, It’s Cold Inside, 1970 You must know the bees have come early this year too: I see them visit aster, sweet Williams, bleeding hearts, and azalea blossoms hardy enough to not have crisped with

      3 min read

    • Article

      Oh, Corona

      Jan 1, 2024

      Books The Lights by Ben Lerner Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2023 128 pp., $26.00 (hardcover) According to the latest Times article on the qualitative merits of bot art, Ben Lerner has lent excerpts from his new poetry collection to a group of venture c

      7 min read

    • Article

      Icon Of Conservation

      Mar 16, 2018

      Icon Of Conservation
      5 min read

    • Article

      Number Crunching

      Oct 20, 2021

      Number Crunching
      4 min read

    • Article

      Clam Down

      Apr 13, 2017

      Clam Down
      9 min read

    • Article

      Going Gothic How To Tell The Goth-iest Story Ever

      Oct 1, 2021

      WHAT DO DRACULA, FRANKENSTEIN, AND YOUR SISTER’S LACE-UP COMBAT BOOTS ALL HAVE IN COMMON? If your answer was “they’re super cool,” you’d be right! But if your answer was “they’re all part of the gothic’tradition,” you’d be even righter. Being gothic

      3 min read

    • Article

      Perfect Prose II

      May 15, 2020

      Perfect Prose II
      4 min read

    • Article

      Commonplace Book

      Jun 1, 2020

      After every war someone has to tidy up. — Wisława Szymborska, “The End and the Beginning,” 1993 The road, just in front of the sidewalk where I sat and played jacks, would be ankle-deep in dust, and seemed to drink up the moonlight like folds of ve

      3 min read

    • Article

      A Walk On The Wild Side

      Dec 3, 2018

      A Walk On The Wild Side
      6 min read

    • Article

      The Hidden Origins of Mankind

      Nov 12, 2019

      The Hidden Origins of Mankind
      8 min read

    • Article

      'Winter' Is Karl Ove Knausgaard's Attempt To Make You See Things Anew

      Jan 23, 2018

      Even though he’s been winning literary awards – both in his native Norway and in the world at large – ever since his literary debut in 1998, I somehow managed to ignore Karl Ove Knausgaard. That is, I did so until last August, when I read his essay “

      3 min read

    • Article

      A Close Encounter With A Lion

      May 25, 2023

      My Dear Baker Mrs Oswell and myself thoroughly enjoyed our stay with you and your charming wife in June. It was a true pleasure for us both to renew old times and friendship. We trust that your trip to India will be a pleasant one, and the ship you a

      6 min read

    • Article

      If Sheep COULD FLY…

      Aug 3, 2022

      If Sheep COULD FLY…
      6 min read

    • Article

      Sweet Fantasy

      Nov 20, 2021

      Sweet Fantasy
      8 min read

    • Article

      My Lucky Safari In Tanzania

      Jun 1, 2017

      My Lucky Safari In Tanzania
      11 min read

    • Article

      How To Eulogize An Animal

      Jun 12, 2019

      How To Eulogize An Animal
      12 min read

    • Article

      Kaspaas

      Jun 12, 2020

      Kaspaas
      7 min read

    Reviews for Collector's Item

    0 ratings

    0 ratings0 reviews

    What did you think?

    Tap to rate

    Review must be at least 10 words

      Book preview

      Collector's Item - Ed Emshwiller

      The Project Gutenberg EBook of Collector's Item, by Evelyn E. Smith

      This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with

      almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or

      re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included

      with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org

      Title: Collector's Item

      Author: Evelyn E. Smith

      Illustrator: EMSH

      Release Date: March 18, 2010 [EBook #31686]

      Language: English

      *** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK COLLECTOR'S ITEM ***

      Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online

      Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net

      Collector's Item

      By EVELYN E. SMITH

      Illustrated by EMSH

      [Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from Galaxy Science Fiction December 1954. Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]

      Being trapped in the steaming h—l of Venus is no excuse for forgetting one's manners—but anyone abducted, marooned, tricked, kept from tea might well crack under the strain!

      What I should like to know, Professor Bernardi said, gazing pensively after the lizard-man as he bore the shrieking form of Miss Anspacher off in his scaly arms, is whether he is planning to eat her or make love to her. Because, in the latter instance, I'm not sure we should interfere. It may be her only chance.

      Carl! his wife cried indignantly. That's a horrid thing to say! You must rescue her at once!

      Oh, I suppose so, he said, then gave his wife a nasty little grin that he knew would irritate her. It isn't that she's unattractive, my dear, in case you hadn't noticed, though she's pretty well past the bloom of youth—

      "Will you stop making leering noises and go save her or not?"

      I was coming to that. It's just that she persists in using her Ph.D. as a club to beat men into respectful pulps. Men don't like being beaten into respectful pulps, whether by a man or a woman. Now if she'd only learned that other people have feelings—

      If you don't stop lecturing and go, I will! his wife threatened.

      All right, all right, he said wearily. Come on, Mortland.

      The two scientists slogged through the steamy, odorous jungle of Venus and soon reached the lizard-man, who, weighed down by his captive, had not been able to travel as fast.

      You blast him, the professor told Mortland. Try not to hit Miss Anspacher, if you can manage it.

      Er—I've never fired one of these things before, Mortland said. Can't stand having my eardrums blasted. However, here goes. He pointed his weapon at the lizardlike creature in a gingerly manner. Ah—hands up, he ordered. Only fair to give the—well, blighter a sporting chance, he explained to Professor Bernardi.

      To their amazement, the lizard-man promptly dropped Miss Anspacher into the lavender-colored mud and put up his hands. Miss Anspacher gave an indignant yelp.

      Seems intelligent in spite of the kidnaping, Mortland commented. But how does he happen to understand English? We're the only expedition ever to have reached Venus ... that I know of, anyway. He and the professor stared at each other in consternation. There may have been a secret expedition previously and perhaps they left a—a base or something, which would explain why—

      If you two oafs would stop speculating, you might help me out of here! Miss Anspacher remarked in her customary snappish tone. Professor Bernardi leaped forward to obey. You don't have to pull quite so hard! I haven't taken root yet! She came out of the mud with a sound like two whales kissing. She brushed hopelessly at her once-white blouse and shorts. Oh, dear, I look a mess!

      Professor Bernardi did not comment, being engaged in slapping at a small winged creature—about the size of a bluejay, but looking like a cross between a bat and a mosquito—that seemed interested in taking a bite out of him. It escaped his flapping hand and flew to the top of Mortland's sun helmet, where it glared at the professor.

      Since you seem to understand English, Miss Anspacher said to the lizard-man through a mouthful of hairpins, perhaps you will be so kind as to explain the meaning of this outrage?

      I was smitten, the alien replied suavely. Passion made me forget myself.

      Professor Bernardi looked thoughtfully at him. A prior expedition isn't the answer. It wouldn't have troubled to educate you so thoroughly. Therefore, the explanation is that you pick up English by reading our minds. Correct?

      The lizard-man turned an embarrassed olive. Yes.

      Now that he was able to give the creature a more thorough inspection, Bernardi saw that he really didn't look too

      Enjoying the preview?
      Page 1 of 1