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Robert P. Wills
Robert P. Wills is a newly retired U.S. Army Chief Warrant Officer Four. After 25 years of Army silliness, he decided that writing fantasy stories about unstable Gnomes was a logic...view moreRobert P. Wills is a newly retired U.S. Army Chief Warrant Officer Four. After 25 years of Army silliness, he decided that writing fantasy stories about unstable Gnomes was a logical career choice after writing intelligence reports for a living.
Robert lives in the Central Florida area where he and his wife are enjoying empty-nesting and spending far too much time wandering around various theme parks. Well not Sea World because they yell at Robert when he pets the dolphins. At the dolphin petting pool. He doesn't get it either.
To get out of the house, or as his wife says it "Get out of the house!", Robert has picked up a part time job wandering the grounds of this road-side carnival started by this fellow named Walter. It's just up the road near this lake called Bueno Vista. He is pretty sure that's Seminole for "Lots of Mosquitoes".
Being an old soldier, he has taken a job in security. A far cry from the rough-and-tumble, live-on-the-razor's-edge-of-life of wrangling tourists that was pitched to him, he seems to spend his days giving directions and handing out stickers. If you see him in the parks, ask him where the closest bathroom is. And for a sticker.
Along with writing, Robert is an inventor with three patents (6,559,556, 7,293,681, and 8,561,951) and several innovations in his workshop. One innovation, the World's Greatest Garden Hose Guide is available on Amazon- when he can keep it in stock. One of his other inventions -The Jeep Door Carrier- will be available by mid-2017 so you can take your doors off AND take them with you! Sign up for the newsletter to get updates over on www.doorcarrier.com
Robert also has a marginally successful wand business on Etsy under the name SecondHandSorcery where customers are routinely insulted by Grimbledung. The odd part is that they seem to like it.
Robert sells his inventions under the name SixToesInnovations- a US Veteran owned company. Buy American, people! Unless you're one of the numerous British ex-pats here in Central Florida, then "No hard feelings? Buy from a Colonial, please and thank you!"
I am not sure why I wrote my biography in the third person.
Robert is funny that way.view less