Down the Rabbit Hole: Curious Adventures and Cautionary Tales of a Former Playboy Bunny

Written by Holly Madison

Narrated by Holly Madison

The shocking, never-before-told story of the bizarre world inside the legendary Playboy Mansion—and, finally, the secret truth about the man who holds the key—from one of the few people who truly knows: Hef’s former #1 girlfriend and star of The Girls Next Door

A spontaneous decision at age twenty-one transformed small-town Oregon girl Holly Sue Cullen into Holly Madison, Hugh Hefner’s #1 girlfriend. But like Alice’s journey into Wonderland, after Holly plunged down the rabbit hole, what seemed like a fairytale life inside the Playboy Mansion—including A-list celebrity parties and her own #1-rated television show for four years—quickly devolved into an oppressive routine of strict rules, manipulation, and battles with ambitious, backstabbing bunnies. Life inside the notorious Mansion wasn’t a dream at all—and quickly became her nightmare. After losing her identity, her sense of self-worth, and her hope for the future, Holly found herself sitting alone in a bathtub contemplating suicide.

But instead of ending her life, Holly chose to take charge of it.

In this shockingly candid and surprisingly moving memoir, this thoughtful and introspective woman opens up about life inside the Mansion, the drugs, the sex, the abuse, the infamous parties, and her real behind-the-scenes life with Bridget, Kendra, and, of course, Mr. Playboy himself.

With great courage, Holly shares the details of her subsequent troubled relationship, landing her own successful television series, and the hard work of healing, including her turn on Dancing with the Stars. A cautionary tale and a celebration of personal empowerment, Down the Rabbit Hole reminds us of the importance of fighting for our dreams—and finding the life we deserve.

• Language: English
• Publisher: HarperAudio
• Release date: Jun 23, 2015
• ISBN: 9780062395139

Holly Madison

Holly Madison is the author of the #1 New York Times bestselling memoir Down the Rabbit Hole. She spent five seasons on the #1 rated E! hit reality show The Girls Next Door before starring in her own hit E! series, Holly’s World. Holly divides her time between Los Angeles and Las Vegas with her husband and daughter.

Reviews for Down the Rabbit Hole

[M. Bronzan · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Holly's perspective and willingness to share her experiences were eye-opening, funny, and sobering. This book is not so much about 'bunnies' as it is about finding one's true self and having full ownership over one's life path.

[Kendra Rogers · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

She's a bit vapid, and it can be petty at times, but it's surprisingly well written and just the right amount of juicy gossip. It really does give you a look inside this totally bizarre world... and it's a fascinating world, indeed. I found myself really liking Holly despite the fact that she's definitely narcissistic. The only thing I just couldn't handle was her british accent for the Alice in Wonderland quotes...it was so ridiculous I'd laugh out loud every time!

[IleiniRomero · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

one of the best memoirs I've read ever

[amblyn B · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Absolutely amazing, and even better with Holly narrating it. I just might have to listen to it again

[Sophie Lester · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Inspirational and funny

[AmandaWood-Salomon · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

awesome..loved that she read it too

[kim · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

it's an interesting read but it seemed like a few details were purposely left out. maybe they would have been a negative spot light on Holly.

[Kris Elsley · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Great story to hear! A bit repetitive in terms of the writing style, but her personality shines through.

[Jessica · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Well written, well narrated, interesting life story.

[piris · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I wish the first 10 chapters were condensed into 3 but otherwise pretty interesting.

[Kristina · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

really good book!

[Brown Alyssia · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Well the girl is more intelligent than I would had surmised. There was some interesting aspects from the start to just beyond the middle. After that it got a little more boring with each chapter.

[Agnes · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

Seems to me was more about hef...was a bit interested because I was curious but eventually got tired about Hef and I don't think it's nice because you decided to stay with him for that long...all the best though.

[Blair Campbell · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I couldn't stop listening.

[Amy D'Emilio Nichols · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I loved Holly on the girls next door and it was great to learn more about her life. Well written and funny, this is an easy read. I also love the Alice quotes that open each chapter.

[Stephanie Casas · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Such a great read, I couldn't get enough!

[Howard Silvers · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Truly an inspiration, you certainly pulled a Rabbit out of your Top Hat.

[Amanda · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

love love the book five stars.

[Angela Lawther · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

So good. Gives u the twisted, yet completely seductive & inthralling story. I never could have imagined existed. I'm sorry for it to end.

[Andrea Fiallos · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Interesting but I couldn't help thinking that she wrote about everyone elses faults but hers.

[Mindy Lewis · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I enjoyed her memoir.

[Paulina · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

??????

[Devin7 · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

Good lessons learned - but she seems a little shallow. True that she experienced horrors, but no one was holding her at the playboy mansion at gun point. On top of that, she help recruit other girls to the house of horrors - while saying that it was a big mistake to have decided to live in the mansion. Soooo many contradictions - hard to determine what her true thoughts actually are on her experience.

[jessicareadsthings · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

I'm reading this in October, the month I typically reserve for nothing but horror reading. But I feel like this sort of fits the theme; it's just a different kind of horrifying.

I never really watched The Girls Next Door, I didn't read this book because I want an inside look at Hugh Hefner's bedroom escapades (gross), and I really don't care about knowing anything of the inner workings of the "famous for fame's sake" world. I was really drawn to this book when I read a preview of it, and the voice of the narrator (and writer) sounded so sad and vulnerable and sincere when she described how she would end it all. Oh, and intelligent. That made me sit right up and re-think how I had judged this person in light of how she became famous.

The book pretty much lives up to all of that. I never expected the prose to be beautiful or poetic. It feels honest. Although, there seems to be a certain amount of branding to it that, every so often, creeps over the genuine line. The details are salacious, but, to me at least, the book manages to avoid that sticky, tabloid tell-all feel. I would have liked a bit more self-reflection. There's some, but it's really just a story of her time being with/escaping from Hefner with a little bit of feminist hell-yeahing at the end. There is vulnerability, but only in a retrospective and sort of superficial way. Hefner is never called out as being abusive (except maybe once), manipulating, yes, and the implication is definitely there. But flat out abusive, no.

Overall, it was an interesting read (obviously, I read it in one day). And I'm glad to have my preconceived notions that Hugh Hefner is sad, lame human being confirmed.

[ladyrakat · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Interesting read. Life isn't all fun and games at the Hef House. It stopped being that way long before he died.Holly shares her good times and bad times. Alot of bad times and drama. She has more tolerance for that than I do.

[mcelhra · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Down the Rabbit Hole is her introspective account of her time inside the Mansion: the drugs, abuse, infamous parties, and Holly’s real behind-the-scenes life with Bridget, Kendra, and Mr. Playboy himself. It is also her chronicle of healing and hope. By telling her story, both a cautionary tale and a celebration of personal empowerment, Holly reminds us of the importance of fighting for our dreams—and of finding the life we deserve.Down the Rabbit Hole is Holly Madison’s memoir that is mostly of her life living in the Playboy Mansion as Hugh Hefner’s number one girlfriend. It’s fascinating how a smart woman like Holly – she has several college credits – could be manipulated into staying at the Mansion under Hef’s strict rules for over six years. It wasn’t for the money – contrary to popular belief, he did not give his girlfriends a lot of money. They each got a relatively small allowance for clothes and beauty treatments and that was it. In return, they lived at the Mansion and had to be in a 9pm every night and were not allowed to spend even one night away from the Mansion without Hef.I really liked reading all of the behind the scenes info Holly shared about The Girls Next Door the E! reality series that Holly starred in with two of Hef’s other two girlfriends at the time, Kendra and Bridget. I loved that show when it was on. I figured there’s some editing trickery and whatnot in reality TV but I didn’t realize how much! There was a lot in The Girls Next Door. Now I want to find old episodes and watch them again to see if there are any clues about what was REALLY going on during that time at the Mansion.When Holly finally breaks free of Hugh Hefner’s hold, she immediately takes up with famous magician Criss Angel, who turns out to be even crazier than Hef! I love that Holly tells all in that relationship too, the good, bad and ugly.The book ends with Holly finding ostensibly true love with her husband Pasquale Rotella. Ironically, just as I finished the book, she and her husband announced they are divorcing. Could another memoir be in the works? Sign me up – I want to know what happened!Holly is surprisingly intelligent and incredibility honest. If you like celebrity memoirs, you’ll like Down

[patsymac-1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Interesting

This was quite interesting and a good read. Holly comes across as smart and ambitious, hardworking and genuine. She also comes across as a bit catty and I wish she had taken more responsibility for the choices she made. She had the audacity to call one of Hefner women his latest concubine..when she was the same. Thinly veiled references of her being better than a prostitute...when she was essentially that were pretty weak. Still she certainly created a life she was proud of and her point of view is interesting and a good solid warning.

[stephlaymon · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Down the Rabbit Hole is all about spilling the beans, and I can't say as though I blame Holly Madison for writing it. I hesitate to use the term, but Holly Madison was Heffner's number one girlfriend for seven years, only after years of paying her dues as a lesser ranked girlfriend among a dozen others. She was also one of the stars on The Girls Next Door, a (not so much) reality show that stars Hef's three girlfriends at the time. This book will open your eyes to what life really was like in the mansion, and there is not one thing that was glamorous about it. While I don't question the authors belief in her own honesty, I do think that she sees herself through rose colored glasses. According to her, practically every other girlfriend was a slut, bitch, user... Except her. There were a lot of victims of broken promises, wasted lives, emotional abuse, broken spirits, etc., but I don't think there was a person with honorable intentions among them, including Holly Madison. I accept that people make decisions for different reasons, and sometimes tell lies to themselves to get through it. Often they don't come to terms until later in life, forgive themselves and move on. Other times, people lie to themselves for so long, that it becomes their real life story, and I think that's the case with Holly Madison. A nice woman, living a good life hopefully, who doesn't care to face the ugliness of who she was in her past. Such as the plight of memoirs, right?Anyway, I am glad that I read it. It's always good to be reminded of the reasons that I am blessed to live the life that I do, simple as it is.

[dawnssj · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

It's not like I had high expectations going in, but...not sure why I finished this one.

[amalieturner · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I always read while I eat my lunch at work. One day I accidentally left my copy of Down The Rabbit Hole at home. I was so invested in continuing reading Holly's story that I bought the Kindle copy too, just so I didn't have to miss an opportunity to read. I watched Girls Next Door when it was on TV so getting to hear the behind the scenes stories was very fun and interesting. I also always liked Holly Madison so it was easy for me to empathize with her struggles. I will say that she definitely makes herself the victim in almost any situation. Obviously this is Holly's book so she is going to paint herself in the best light, but there were many times I wondered how much of what I was reading was only a portion of the truth. With that said, it was kind of obvious when she was covering up something so I didn't feel all that lied to since I could tell when she wasn't being totally truthful. I really enjoyed this book overall. Holly's story is so unique and hearing about the ins and outs of living at the Playboy mansion was fascinating. I thought I had an idea of what life was like but if Holly's story is any indication of real life in the mansion, my impression (along with most of America's) was very wrong.