I’VE NEVER DONE A BURNOUT.
It’s time to drop a tactical nuke on that cherry. Handily for the 32-year-old burnout virgin, the Dodge Challenger has a mode solely dedicated to tyre vandalism. Tap ‘line lock’ in the touchscreen. Stamp on the brake pedal until an approved pressure is acquired. Now hold ‘OK’ on the steering wheel and gingerly release the left pedal. The rear brakes relax, while my thumb keeps the fronts pinned. Our photographer and videographer signal they’re ready. A quick glance over my shoulder for cops. The Californian coast is clear. Briefly.
Three seconds later it’s opaque with smoke. There was a sickening lurch as the throttle was mashed, then the car stood dead still and mercilessly marmalised its Pirellis. This is it! I’m a burnout king! ’Murica, f**k yeah!
Having never done a burnout, no one told me when you’re supposed to stop. Have we got the shot yet? Does line lock mode have a time limit? Will the supercharged V8 overheat, or does the charger belt whip through the bonnet before the tyres burst? Ahh, give it a couple more seconds… There, that oughta do it. Especially as the car is now ingesting smoke as fast as it creates it.
Since 2008, I wonder how many people have seared two quintessential 21st century American muscle car is actually as Canadian as Ryan Reynolds smearing maple syrup over Justin Bieber. On mooseback.
