Along with other benefits of mediation when parents split up (Upfront, November 11), there is one small change that can transform the way children experience the separation.
As a mediator who works with parents in dispute, I use a model known as “child inclusion”, which is, as the name suggests, where the child participates in mediation.
Oscar was 8 when the mysterious pains began. They stopped him sleeping; even his favourite treats were no match for the tummy cramps.
Three months before, Oscar’s parents had decided to separate. They had been fighting bitterly about their co-parenting schedule. And while they were concerned and dedicated parents, they didn’t join the dots. Oscar’s issue was not detectable on a blood test, it was severe emotional stress.
This isn’t uncommon, of course. The impact on children of high parental conflict after separation is well documented. Research demonstrates that at least one in four children in legal proceedings develop a formal mental health problem.
