Guardian Weekly

The kids have all left home – but we still can’t get rid of them

On Saturday morning the youngest one calls from his flat to say that, after many delays, the building’s management have finally installed pigeon netting over the shit-covered landing outside his front door. Unfortunately, he says, they have somehow managed to trap a pigeon inside the netting. My wife comes down to my office while she’s on the phone with him, so I can listen along.

“You’re just

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