TO PARAPHRASE Brian’s mother in Monty Python’s Life of Brian: “He’s been a very naughty boy.” And, I confess, I have. What happened is this. Followers of this column might remember that when I bought Ulrich, my mid-16th-century South German armour, he came to live with me sans helmet, arms or gloves (or codpiece, for that matter, but moving swiftly on). Not that I much cared at first. Even incomplete he knocked my other bits of armour over the stands for sheer presence. What’s more, I had paid so little for him that I wasn’t overly bothered about his missing bits. But time marches on and, much like any rebuild project, I increasingly saw him for what he really is: an ever more frustrating work in progress (WiP).
Just as bad, I have had to accept that, unfinished, he is not worth a tad of what he could fetch when complete – not that I plan to sell him. Collapsing houses or
