‘The phone stops ringing. You never hear from anyone again’: the UK’s Eurovision flops on 25 years of hurt

Duncan James was feeling quietly confident, and perhaps with good reason. “All the bookies were behind us,” he says. “Paddy Power had us as favourites to win.” It was 2011, and Blue – one of those rare British boybands whose career was stretching on into adulthood – had been tempted out of semi-retirement to represent the UK at Eurovision. The band had taken a break back in 2005, James says, “to pursue different areas of the entertainment business”. But the BBC, which screens the singing competition each year and helps oversee the UK’s choice of entry, had come calling because it found itself in a tight spot. After several years of poor (and sometimes catastrophic) results, they urgently required a safe pair of hands. Blue were already established, and enduringly popular. They’d excel, surely?

“Well, that was the hope,” James says.

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The Eurovision song contest is the biggest singing competition in the world, a deliriously daft sing-off in which nations compete to win the favour of a TV audience of 161 million viewers, who can vote along with a jury of industry professionals. Flags are flown with pride, performances err on the side of kitsch and the whole thing runs in excess of four hours. By its climax, for one reason or another, everyone seems to be in tears.

The competition launched in 1956 to help bring previously warring nations together via the universal language of music. In its first four decades, the UK did well, often finishing in the top five. Sandie Shaw won it, barefoot, in 1967 with Puppet on a String. Cliff Richard came second a year later with Congratulations. In 1969, Lulu was victorious with Boom Bang-a-Bang, a song whose devotedly simplistic refrain set the competition’s tone for the next few years. Eurovision bolstered the career of Brotherhood of Man, who won with Save Your Kisses for Me in 1976, and launched Bucks Fizz in 1981. The UK has won five times, most recently in 1997 with Katrina and the Waves’ Love Shine a Light.

Since then, with the exception of Sam Ryder’s triumphant second-place showing last year, the UK has been routinely unremarkable, and occasionally downright awful. In the 21st century, we’ve placed last five times. And when we haven’t come last,. (He completed his PhD in the nation branding of post-communist states, with a focus on Estonia’s journey at Eurovision.) Jemini, who sang off-key on the night and were awarded the dreaded , split up soon after – though there had been rumours that they were re-forming for this year’s event.