As a cop, there were some delicious moments when I left the claustrophobic confines of an interview room and punched the air in triumph! Unfortunately, these were rare, since the vast majority of these exchanges – made by fictional television adaptations to feel unnaturally compelling and characteristic of good prevailing over bad ─ followed a rehearsed and predictable routine. However, before I comprehensively extinguish all thoughts of police interviews being some sort of celebration of justice, let me regale you with one instance that still makes me smile. A relatively low-level crime – a burglary at a school – was witnessed by a passer-by who called it into the police. Believing that a suspect had removed something out of school hours and hotfooted it towards a nearby housing estate, they provided a typically vague account of the male offender. Police attended the scene, verified the break-in and loss of a computer, and called upon the support of a police dog. I had the utmost respect for all animals supporting the thin blue line, from the heroic and majestic horses invariably deployed to quell hostile public disorder, to the several breeds of canine who relentlessly pursued their individual talents with a loyalty and endeavor that was simply breathtaking.
On this occasion, the German shepherd immediately picked up a trail leading to a nearby house. Knocking at the door, the uniformed officer was greeted by the sole male occupant who fitted the fleeting description. He was arrested and the house was searched with a negative result. Given that the evening was drawing in, the detainee was immediately placed on a rest period and bedded down in a cell pending interview in the morning. Enter stage left yours truly who picked up this investigation. Reviewing the evidence, I was immediately struck by two huge obstacles – firstly, the fact that the only witness would probably be unable to
