Cobble hoppers

There’s nothing quite like it. The Hell of the North, the Queen of the Classics, the toughest, most gruelling day a professional can have on a bike, and the one race you have to watch roadside before you can truly call yourself a cycling fan. Paris-Roubaix is the greatest single day of pro racing on the calendar, the ultimate high-wire act at the WorldTour circus.

But if you do decide to go, how do you tell your Camphin-en-Pévèles from your Carrefour de l’Arbres? How will you know where to stand without being blocked off by a race moto? Which side streets should you take to avoid road closures? And crucially, where do you keep your beer so it stays cold and doesn’t get stolen?

Fear not, dear reader, because we went to this year’s Paris-Roubaix and made all the mistakes so you don’t have to. Here’s the result: Cyclist’s Complete Guide to Acing Paris-Roubaix.

Logistics king

Any pilgrimage to witness Paris-Roubaix in person begins long before the racing. It starts months in advance by poring over information about hotels and Channel crossing timetables, pre-planning your race day route and deciding which cobbled secteurs you plan to target. As such, I’ve been in regular contact with my accomplices and trip photographers, Alex and Alice, for some time already.

I give Alex a call in late February to hash out a rough plan for our of Hem, less than 10km from the finish.