‘I’m Very Conflicted’: Readers Share Complex Views on Abortion

This is an edition of Up for Debate, a newsletter by Conor Friedersdorf. On Wednesdays, he rounds up timely conversations and solicits reader responses to one thought-provoking question. Every Monday, he publishes some thoughtful replies. Sign up for the newsletter here.

In the last Up for Debate I asked readers, “What are your views on abortion?”

Joey shares a personal story:

I am a 78-year-old grandmother. In 1967, I had an illegal abortion on a dining room table in a part of Boston I normally did not frequent. I already had 3 kids under 3 and simply could not afford another one. My husband supported this decision. But we were white, well-educated, and had the necessary connections to do this safely, albeit illegally. Even at the time, I was fully aware of my privilege.

Having an abortion is a serious decision, and I believe most women take it very seriously. I certainly took it seriously, but nothing would convince me it was not the right thing for my family at the time. Denying women the opportunity to manage their family’s needs—as difficult as that is already—is truly cruel.

I understand that Roe vs. Wade was perhaps not the best way to legalize abortion. It should have been done by statute, not the courts. I was initially appalled this week by the fact that a Supreme Court decision was leaked, but now I believe that a great service has been done for the country. It is much clearer now that we must create and pass legislation on behalf of women’s health that includes the right to abortion. There could be restrictions, such as the need for more than one physician’s opinion if the abortion is late in the term. But a new law is the only way to truly protect women at this point. If eliminating the filibuster is the only way to achieve this, let’s do it. If I were a young woman planning an illegal abortion, I’d leave instructions to be followed in the case of my death from the procedure: Please attach a sign to my bleeding body reading This is what ‘pro-life’ looks like and place it on the front steps of the Supreme Court for all to see.

Susan also explained the circumstances of an abortion:

I am 61. I have been married to the same partner for over 40 years. We chose not to have children. I found myself unexpectedly pregnant at 16, naive about how easily one can become pregnant. I had a first trimester abortion, assisted by the boy’s mother, and have never regretted it. I went on to College and had a successful career. My Catholic mother even thanked me for taking this off her shoulders when she found out. If Roe vs. Wade is overturned it will mostly affect low-income women. If men carried babies, there would likely be no questions about abortion rights. Contraceptives and abortions have increased the quality of life for women in most countries. It is shocking to me that so many people still believe they should be able to control my body because of their personal beliefs.

Jeanne’s unplanned pregnancy turned out differently:

I’m 70 years old and carried an unplanned pregnancy to term when I was 18.