EVOLVING THE EVO
AS HE LEAPS FROM THE BALCONY AND GRABS THE rope, time slows down and you see the effortlessly graceful swing of a hand down to a sidearm. Time speeds up again and the arc of our hero’s fall positions him perfectly to fire the single shot required to do the job. An immaculate, feline landing on the ground and a cheeky wink at a stunned passer-by – or maybe at the audience, depending on how the director feels about breaking the fourth wall. The world has been saved from another megalomaniac/alien/dinosaur (delete as appropriate). Lights up, leave the cinema.
Months later you’re walking through Leicester Square in London and see that someone has unfurled the crimson Axminster outside the Odeon. You wander over and manage to look through the crowd just in time to see the flashes go off as the leaping, world-saving hero from the silver screen steps carefully out of the back of an Audi A8 and gives a little wave to those waiting.
Oh.
He’s a lot shorter in real life. In fact he’s shorter than you are. Probably would have been fine with the standard rather than long-wheelbase A8. Could he really have floored that massive miscreant with a single punch? You’re about to walk away, disappointed at his reduced real-life physicality… but you don’t. You stay. Something keeps you
