10th THE ANNUAL MAXIM AUSTRALIA AWARDS
EPIC FAIL OF THE YEAR
THE VACCINE ROLLOUT
The Australian government’s smugness about its impressive track record of keeping COVID-19 under control in Oz quickly went out the window when it emerged we had a huge shortage of vaccines and were falling behind nearly every other country in the developed world. Moreover, with no uniformity between national and individual state health advice, it left a shitload of Aussies confused about whether they were yet eligible to get jabbed at all. Evidently, while most other countries conferred with multiple vaccine manufacturers to get their doses on time, Scotty From Marketing and his cabinet of clowns did no such negotiating. Another hole punched into the ScoMo belt of uselessness.
RUNNER-UP
JOE BIDEN & “THAT FELLA DOWN UNDER”
Another excruciating example of how irrelevant Australia has become on the international stage, was when (at a press conference for a new trilateral security partnership with us and Great Britain, called Aukus) U.S. President Biden addressed our PM with, “I wanna thank, uh… that fella Down Under.” Sure, Sleepy Joe is 78 and prone to nodding off and being… er, forgetful, but we can’t help suspect ScoMo didn’t exactly leave a lasting impression. The fact Joe first managed to thank British twat Boris by name sums up Australia’s year in diplomacy.
RUNNER-UP
THE EVER GIVEN
In March, a 400-metre-long (1300-ft) vessel christened the Ever Given was buffeted by strong winds and ended up wedged across the Suez Canal in Egypt, with its bow and stern stuck in the canal banks. It all started with a sandstorm that left the crew unable to steer the ship in high winds. The result was a massive traffic jam on the canal – imagine the main street of any major city during rush hour only it’s giant ships longer than skyscrapers — and it lasts a week. The freeze blocked close to $10 billion in trade per day and then became a surprisingly versatile meme on TikTok.
RUNNER-UP
RUST SHOOTING
The death of cinematographer Halyna Hutchins after she was accidently shot with a prop gun during rehearsals on the set of the Alec Baldwin movie Rust, is a senseless tragedy that never should have happened. Original reports suggested Baldwin fired at Hutchins not realising the gun contained a real/live bullet, but it's now believed to have discharged when he removed it from its holster. In an emotional TV interview, the actor, who may yet be liable in a continuing civil suit for the fatal shooting, told ABC News, “I would never point a gun at anyone and pull a trigger at them. Never.”
MAN OF THE YEAR
DYLAN ALCOTT
In 2021 this legendary overachiever became the first man to complete the Golden Slam in wheelchair tennis, winning all four majors and taking gold at the Paralympics in Tokyo. Nevertheless, the year was somewhat bitter sweet with Dylan announcing his plans to retire from the sport he has dominated for so long, following the 2022 Australian Open this month. Widely admired for both his phenomenal sporting abilities as well as his eloquence and charm, few players have done as much as Alcott to help make wheelchair tennis a more widely-seen, celebrated and funded sport.
RUNNER-UP
DEAN BOXALL
Thanks to Ariarne Titmus’ swimming coach, Dean Boxall, you need only replay his reaction during and after her stunning victory, over American Katie Ledecky, in the women's 400m freestyle to have the best memories from last year’s Tokyo Olympics come flooding back. Boxall instantly went viral when he grabbed hold of the top of a glass barrier and celebrated like his pro-wrestling hero the Ultimate Warrior, leaning back with his hips forward before punching the air wildly. “It built up,” Boxall told Channel 7. “When I saw the race unfolding I couldn’t keep it in.” Truly one of the great moments of the Olympic Games.
RUNNER-UP
CHRISTIAAN ROETGERING
How many times have you had to make multiple trips to the bar when it’s your turn to buy a round? This 23-year-old legend proved that the secret is in your handiwork when he successfully carried 48 pints of beer (five full trays) back to his seat at an FC Twente match in Holland. Two
