Right car, wrong time

You've probably heard the old chestnut; "What’s the secret of telling the perfect joke?" the answer, "timing", following swiftly in the same sentence. Okay, it’s no side-splitter but there’s a relevance here. You see, the gag’s likely to get the same reaction these ill-fated or ill-timed cars got when they were aired for the first time – a shrug of the shoulders, a mild titter, perhaps, but more commonly an overriding sense of disappointment.

This all seems quite topical right now because 2022 marks the 50th anniversary of probably one of the most underwhelmingly-received cars of all time, the Jensen-Healey. This was a car which from its name alone promised much but delivered so little. Here’s its story, along with tales of other equally luckless cars which failed to sparkle as their manufacturers had intended.

JENSEN-HEALEY

Donald Healey and his son Geoffrey had been recruited onto Jensen’s management at the request of American owner Kjell Qvale to develop the Jensen-Healey, and its fateful unveiling took place on March 7, 1972, at the Geneva Show.

Healey himself did much of the styling, borrowing much from the Triumph TR6 and MGB in the process, while other components such as the 16-valve 1973cc engine came from Lotus. Vauxhall provided the suspension (from its Firenza) and the brakes (from the Magnum) while Rootes handed over its gearbox from the Sunbeam Rapier H120.

Sadly, what on paper sounded like a tasty recipe for success turned out to be a bit of dog’s dinner.

For a start, it ended up looking bland and, due to machining issues, that Lotus engine proved woefully unreliable. The car’s shoddy paint finish and mediocre hood fit received even