BACK TO SCHOOL SEASON

to have snagged William Zabka — aka Johnny Lawrence from and — for this issue of . Sure, I enjoy the hell out of , but Zabka also happens to appear in my favorite Eighties. Ironically, is the movie I’d watch when I’d cut class — or cut school altogether — back in ancient times, and I watch it about three times a year to make sure I can still recite the dialog — just like a crazy person — and I can! In terms of our feature, I actually considered interviewing Zabka myself, just so I could ask him to say, “Screw you, Fanelli!” (He says, “Screw you, Melon!” to Jason Melon — played by Keith Gordon — in the movie), but I’m pretty sure Richard Bienstock did a much better job than I would’ve done. Come to think of it, I’d also ask him: Why is Grand Lakes University hosting diving practice between semesters? Why are all the characters dressed in fall or winter coats, except for in the diving scenes, where it’s suddenly warm and sunny? How could Buzzy the contractor enlarge, redesign, paint, spackle and redecorate the Melon/Lutz dorm room in just a few hours? Yeah, it’s probably better that Bienstock did the interview…