The Critic Magazine

Romeo Coates

JUST AS I WAS attempting to embrace the idea of Christmas festivities, a night’s slumber was disrupted by a grisly apparition, who I soon realised to be my long dead former agent.

This sorry ghoul’s nonsensical wailing went on far too long, before I eventually found myself whisked away to the Tunisian set of Jesus of Nazareth in 1975. Now accompanied by a cheery spirit resembling late French House proprietor Gaston Berlemont, I was soon to learn my dismissal as a minor disciple proved more damaging to one’s professional standing than ever before realised — despite the offending brawl with Judas Iscariot co-star Ian McShane being entirely of his making.

While a subsequent journey and , considerably worse news lay ahead.

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