QUEEN OF HEARTS

Victoria Scone is positively scrumptious in a bright pink gingham frock and a towering all-you-can-eat buffet of a headpiece, studded with fondant fancies, grapes, tomatoes, a wedge of Swiss cheese and a cheeky pork pie. The finishing touch to this magnificent ensemble? Two giant Scotch eggs on her titties. “How do you like your eggs in the morning?” she giggles, smutty and adorable, like the lesbian drag queen version of Barbara Windsor. Roll up for Carry On, Victoria! The innuendos are coming thick, fast and creamy. “Why be a snack when you could be the whole damn picnic?”

I can’t quite believe that I am on a Zoom call with the legend that is Victoria Scone. As a Drag Race megafan, I was delighted when I found out that the third UK season would feature the first ever cisgender female queen in the franchise’s 12 year herstory. When I discovered that this trailblazing goddess was an out and proud lesbian, it was all I could do not to shout from the rooftops: “Shantay, she’s gay!” I tell her all this and she cheers triumphantly, “Let’s go, lesbians! Let’s go!” I love her already.

Before we dive on in, I need to ask an extremely hard-hitting, journalistic question. Doing my best impression of a Newsnight presenter, I steel