FAMILY DYNAMICS
When Otto died suddenly, the victim of a terrible car crash, Mama didn’t speak for a year. He was her youngest son and it was far from fair that she be robbed so cruelly of someone so beloved. We swore to never let anything be taken from Mama again.
But life itself is far from fair, so four years after Otto’s death, Oscar – who worked abroad – drowned while fooling about in the sea, his body unrecovered. None of us could bring ourselves to tell Mama, not even our father (perhaps understandably, given that he’d also lost two of his children) so that it got to the day before Oscar’s memorial service and still she remained unaware.
I confess: it was my idea. Mama had not enjoyed good health since Otto’s death and her catatonia; she required near-constant company. Much as it pained me to think it, but did she have long left herself? Would the loss of Oscar add to her life or take from it? The latter seemed most likely, so I asked if we even needed to tell Mama about Oscar at all.
I won’t pretend that there weren’t arguments, fallings-out, or fractious and emotional debates, but there was only a limited window in which to make our decision. A concord was reached before the evening was out: she would never know.
Marnie stayed home with Mama
