TOTAL WAR: WARHAMMER II

There is such a thing as a dwarf ranger, but they’re viewed with suspicion. In dwarf society, all that sun and fresh air is considered bad for your health. So the idea of taking an army from the cool, comforting holds of the World’s Edge Mountains all the way to the westernmost part of the Mortal Empires map in Total War: Warhammer II is a fool’s errand. Only a wazzock would contemplate such a thing. I’m proud to say I am that wazzock.

First, I need to pick a goal. I choose the Fallen Gate, a savannah settlement on the western fringe of the map with a climate inexplicably suitable for dwarfs. This involves a bit of planning, which feels like cheating, but it’s a necessary concession. In my head, it’s an ancient dwarf myth: a new world suitable for the sons of Grungni, where smooth stone sleeps under jungle fronds. There are other rules to establish. It would be easy enough to amass a huge force led by a powerful character, and flatten whatever unsuspecting race we find holed up