CROUCHING TIGER, HIDDEN IGUANA

What do you get if you cross a tiger with an iguana? Well, something hideous and terrifying, most probably. Tigers are massive and muscular, iguanas are small and bendy, trying to sew them together to create some manner of hybrid predator would frankly be macabre. Nevertheless, this is what Volkswagen did (figuratively, at least) back in 2007 when they portmanteaued the two words together to create ‘Tiguan’.

You can perhaps see where the product planners were coming from, the crossover SUV being at once sizeable and agile, there’s a scintilla of sense there. But never before has the Tiguan made more sense than in the hands of Shaun Mooloo: the brains behind VAG Café, purveyors of Revo tunes, VW upgrades and all-round VAG awesomeness down in Pretoria, South Africa, he’s a man who knows a thing or two about reframing production cars into uniquely-specced pieces of automotive art.

“Shaun loves making the most practical cars… impractical,” grins VAG Café colleague Zack Abba. “If a car can seat four people comfortably, a rollcage will be installed to nullify the rear seats. If a car can comfortably clear speed bumps, a coilover kit is immediately installed so he can crack spoilers at the mere