A FACE ONLY AN M3 ENGINEER COULD LOVE

Any new BMW M3 is a big deal to the car enthusiast community. Forget for a moment what the car actually is, and focus instead on understanding what it represents. The M3 is the souped-up, hot-rodded, better-to-drive version of the traditional “ultimate driving machine,” the BMW 3 Series. The 3 Series is supposed to be a driver’s car right out of the box; the 3 Series after BMW’s M Division performance gurus have fiddled with it? We’re talking hopes and dreams here.

It will never be cheap, but this level of M performance should be somewhat attainable. M3s tend to look pretty good, too, going all the way back to the swole-fendered, deep-chinned, bewinged OG E30 generation of the 1980s. I don’t think I’ll ruffle many feathers by saying fans of fast cars want any new M3 to be handsome, fast, expensive without being exclusive, and—above all else—wonderful to drive. The all-new G80-generation 2021 BMW M3 isn’t that exact car. So, what is it?

It would be a dereliction of auto scribe duty