It Wasn’t Just Another Nightclub

Every December, when Christmas rolls around, I hear Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas Is You” and I think of the Pulse nightclub shooting in Orlando, five years ago in the middle of June—literally as far from Christmas as you can get.

I had volunteered to fly to Florida to cover the massacre for NPR. Each time my producer and I climbed into our rental car, she plugged in her phone and the car stereo would start to play the first song in her iTunes library, which was sorted in alphabetical order. After every interview about trauma, loss, and death, we closed the car doors, heaved a big sigh, turned the keys in the ignition, and heard those familiar bells, followed by I don’t want a lot for Christmas / There is just one thing I need …

I knew that any of my colleagues could have covered the tragedy. As a journalist, I understand that there can be value to approaching a story as an outsider. That’s where I sit for lots of stories I tell: on the outside, looking in. But lived experience can