A SLIPPERY SLOPE

You get a wonderful view of the mountains from the dining room of the Chalet Renard. As the glossy and expensive travel-company brochure explains, the chalet is delightfully situated in the picturesque Alpine resort of Val Blanches. A two-minute walk to the lifts. Conveniently located for shops, ski hire and restaurants.

The view at the moment is particularly encouraging. Economy-size snowflakes are drifting gently downwards, swirling about in the slightest of breezes. Yet it’s still possible to see the slopes in the distance, where a snow plough is at work and tiny figures in colourful outfits are making the most of the fresh powder.

Heidi and Lauren, chalet maids at the Renard, can only look on with envy.

‘THERE MUST BE MORE TO LIFE THAN CLEANING BEDROOMS’

It is 11 o’clock, and they have already cleared the breakfast table, loaded the dishwasher, cheerily waved off their guests and wished them a good day, commiserated with a returning guest who had forgotten his ski poles, reported a broken vacuum cleaner to the resort manager, made the beds, cleaned the bathrooms, scrubbed the kitchen surfaces, flirted with a man who came to read the electricity meter, made a cake and laid the table for tea.

Now they are sitting down, drinking hot chocolate and gazing out of the window.

The prospect of getting out in the snow would normally lift their spirits, but for some reason both Heidi and Lauren are in a slightly downcast, philosophical mood.

Perhaps it’s the bathrooms – nobody likes cleaning bathrooms – or perhaps the long season is finally beginning to catch up with them.

‘You were very grumpy last night,’ says Lauren.

‘Really? What makes you say that?’

‘The fact that you hardly said anything in the kitchen. You seemed a bit, I don’t know, far away. As if you had something on your mind.’

Lauren squirts a bit more