Dear Therapist: Christmas With My Divorced Parents Is Getting Harder

Editor’s Note: Every Monday, Lori Gottlieb answers questions from readers about their problems, big and small. Have a question? Email her at dear.therapist@theatlantic.com.

Dear Therapist,

My parents were married for some 30 years. I grew up watching them mostly get along, but as my siblings and I got older, little problems just wouldn’t go away. By the time I was in high school, a divorce seemed inevitable, but they carried on for another 10 years or so, and separated before Christmas three years ago.

I got engaged the week before the split, and our entire family made an effort to push through the holidays. All of my brothers had children and my parents said that they wanted to try to make the holidays feel special and “normal.” We didn’t discuss what had happened, and my mother has never had closure or a chance