Country Life

Christmas comes but once a year

The gift-wrapper

Tinsel graduated with a first in PPE and this wasn’t how she envisaged her first employment, but the repetitive smoothing of shiny paper and primping of velvet ribbons is surprisingly soothing when you get the hang of it. Once Mr Bauble, the floor manager at Shepherd & Wiseman, had stopped shrieking ‘No, no, no! Fat fingers!’ and becoming hysterical about imaginary creases, she’s come to appreciate his insights into human nature; he treats muddled old ladies buying bubblebath for their cleaners with gentle kindness and shifty men purchasing expensive trinkets for mistresses with a glacial froideur. Tinsel’s appalled at the waste, however; her family will be receiving presents wrapped in the pages of her father’s yellowing issues of COUNTRY LIFE , secured with string and adorned with pine cones and yew, which will make a mess on the carpet.

The choirboy

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