Mountains According to G

So you know all about Alpe d’Huez. Everyone does. It’s an icon, a target, a dream. It’s a t-shirt, a poster, a tattoo. You’ve followed the battles and counted the hairpins and maybe even been among the street-corner parties that watch it all go by.

But you don’t really know Alpe d’Huez, not until you’ve ridden it, not until you’ve ridden it in the Tour.

Alpe d’Huez is all those things, but it’s also a drag queen. During the day, when there’s no one around and all is calm, it’s a straight-laced businessman. It’s neat and organised and clean. When the night comes, when the punters are in and the bar’s packed and everyone’s watching – then it’s showtime. Out comes the flamboyance and the colour, the noise and the madness, the drama and the adventures you can never forget.

All climbs are different on a training ride rather than in a race. That’s what you come to expect, as a pro rider. Training is silence, except for your breathing, and maybe the occasional topic of conversation with your teammate. Racing is giving it all meaning. Racing is hitting a switch and lighting the whole place up.

But there are transformations and then there is the Alpe when the Tour comes calling. I’ve ridden