Dear Therapist: I’m Growing Exhausted Dealing With My Sister’s Anxiety

Editor’s Note: Every Monday, Lori Gottlieb answers questions from readers about their problems, big and small. Have a question? Email her at dear.therapist@theatlantic.com.

Dear Therapist,

My older sister and I have an okay relationship. She likely had ADHD as a child, and she had aggressive outbursts that made me not want to spend time with her when we were younger. As adults, our relationship is not sisterly, because I feel like her caregiver. She has bad anxiety, and because of grad school, she developed a panic disorder that involves frequent panic attacks. She expects me to console and calm her, and I have tried, but it’s exhausting.

Now I’ve moved out of state, and she’s not handling the coronavirus outbreak well (who is?). She messages or calls me while I’m working at home to tell