RECIPES

I can’t remember the exact day, but I remember exactly what happened – and most of all, how I felt. I was getting ready for work. I was on one of my starve-binge/starve cycles, and I felt enormous. I was chubby, about 10 kilos overweight, and bloated. My skirt was too tight. My jacket was uncomfortable on my ever-growing nana arms. Even pulling up my stockings was awkward. But I got dressed anyway, because I had to go to work.

When I went to put my make-up on, I found I couldn’t even look in the mirror. If I was uncomfortable in my clothes, it was positively excruciating to look at myself. I was so fed up, distressed, anxious and irritable about the way I looked that I couldn’t stand to look at my own reflection. So I didn’t.

I went and found a small square mirror and shuffled up to it at an awkward angle, so that when I tilted my head a certain way