IN CASE YOU WERE ASLEEP…
■ The Crusaders won their 309th Super Rugby title, beating the Jaguares 19-3 in the final.■ The Jaguares didn’t actually qualify for the final as such, they were invited by Sanzaar.■ Well, that’s not strictly true. They weren’t invited as such, just given a massive helping hand by being allowed to finish second in the round-robin when in actual fact they finished third.■ Somehow, though Sanzaar can’t see that it was plain mad to have allowed this deal where the respective conference winners respectively finish one, two, three irrespective of■ Maybe the All Blacks should try this at the World Cup if they finish second in their pool.■ Argue they have to finish first as defending champions.■ And before anyone says that Sanzaar have seen the stupidity of what they agreed because they are changing it in 2021, we will still have the same nonsense in 2020.■ And you have to worry about what sort of state Super Rugby will be in by the end of next year.■ The Crusaders are letting captain Sam Whitelock skip the entire season to play in Japan.■ The Chiefs are letting Brodie Retallick do the same and also allow him to stay there until 2021.■ Beauden Barrett is thought to be jacking up a similar deal.■ The exodus out of South Africa is worse. The Bulls are saying bye to 10 of their squad.■ The Australians are also going to experience a massive clean out of talent and then of course there is the curious business of the Sunwolves playing one more year knowing they won’t be around in 2021.■ Crowd figures were down six per cent this year and next year they could be down the same if not more.■ By 2021, the competition could be stuffed.■ More stuffed…■ Common sense may have arrived with the decision to change the 2021 tournament to a 14-team straight and true round-robin. But it may have arrived too late.■ This year’s final wasn’t helped by the fact the All Blacks announced their squad in the build-up.■ Talk about the bridesmaid upstaging the bride…■ Don’t actually talk about that… keep reading this.■ There wasn’t a lot of media coverage of the final as a result.■ There was plenty about the All Blacks, though, as they introduced four new players and surprisingly dumped a few hangers-on.■ As everyone surely knows, the new boys were Braydon Ennor, Sevu Reece, Josh Ioane and Luke Jacobson.■ Jacobson was maybe the least expected as while he played well for the Chiefs, he probably owed his place to the fact that Scott Barrett broke his finger a few days before the squad was announced.■ If Barrett had been fit, he’d have been deemed additional blindside cover and the All Blacks would have picked one less loose forward.■ But much more important in regard to creating an extra loose forward space was the surprise, voluntary exclusion of Liam Squire.■ It came as a bit of a shock when Squire’s name was not read out as while he had missed much of the Super Rugby season, he made a high impact, impressive return in the last few weeks.■ But it turned out that he wasn’t feeling quite right mentally about the whole business of playing test football so rang coach Steve Hansen and said he wasn’t going to make himself available.■ It was a hugely courageous and selfless call by Squire and he joined a select club of players to have turned down All Blacks selection.■ The last to do so was Brad Thorn in 2001 when he, like Squire, didn’t think he was ready so told the selectors to go with someone else.■ If only Stephen Donald had told them that before he played in Hong Kong against the Wallabies in 2010…■ Oh sorry Beaver. All is forgiven now…■ Talking of forgiving…England coach Eddie Jones promised his side will be on their best behaviour in Japan this year.■ England, like anyone could forget, had a shocker when they were here for the World Cup in 2011.■ They got up to all sorts of nonsense in Queenstown… throwing small people around, forgetting who they were married to and where they had been…how to get off ferries.■ In 2015 they just forgot how to play rugby.■ Anyhoo, Eddie says he’ll be running a tight ship and it will be tea and toast at 8.30pm, teeth brushed by 9pm and lights out at 9.30pm.■ Anyone not falling into line can expect to be hearing from matron.■ Or being whacked with a wooden spoon [known to her as Clive] by matron.■ In front of the other boys.■ To be made an example of.■ Pyjamas all the way to the floor.■ And then told to sit on the naughty step and think about what they have done.■ And yes it will be sore sitting down but that should have been thought about before.■ And no there won’t be any second helpings of spotted dick for those who misbehave.■ We expect to confirm in the next issue that England have not won the World Cup.
