WHAT IF… God was a woman?

Dear Santa,

First off, I’m soooo sorry I wolfed down all the mince pies I’d left out for you and also drank all the whisky. But what with raised anxiety levels due to Brexit, Trump’s trumpeting, rootin’, tootin’, shootin’ Putin, the burning of the Brazilian rainforest… not to mention that both my kids have moved back home, descending on the fridge with locust-like ferocity, using up all the hot water and regularly leaving tissues in jean pockets, resulting