A HAWAII WAY OF LIFE

KONA. IT’S A PLACE, AN ADJECTIVE, AN IMAGE AND A BRAND. IT’S ALSO A WAY OF LIFE, BASED ON A HELL OF A LOT OF LIVING HISTORY. THERE ARE FAMILIES HERE WHO TRACE THEIR LINEAGES BACK MORE THAN A THOUSAND YEARS, STILL LIVING ON THE SAME ISLAND. TRY FINDING THAT IN DADE OR BROWARD COUNTIES IN FLORIDA.

Hawaii in general and Kona specifically mean different things to different people, but if you bring up the topic of Hawaii on the mainland, those who haven’t personally experienced it often get the wrong idea. And if you mention Kona to marlin fishermen on the mainland, they might start out admiring all the giants which are caught here, but the odds are higher than Tom Brady’s pass completion rate that comments will get heated, possibly even disdainful—and almost always will be wrong.

And that’s fine. Many people who move here don’t understand Kona either. The Hawaiian word for a newcomer is malahini but most locals just call them implants. You can spot them a mile away, stammering at locals in frustration: “But … why?”

And it’s not even crazy stuff that sets them off—some of the banal aspects of local life spin the implants into a tizzy. Start with the breakfast menu at the local McDonald’s: Spam with scrambled eggs. Pancakes with rice. You get the