Working Mother

5 Steps to Get a Willful Child to Follow Your Rules Without Protest

Mother and son argue

When a child lashes out, there are far more effective tools than punishment.

Photo: iStock

A willful child is a misnomer. Willful children are belligerent only because they can’t articulate their needs and express their anger and frustration.

Typically, when parents face a kid with a temper tantrum or oppositional behavior, they might try to use rewards to teach the lesson they want to share. While the rewards might work temporarily, but the lessons learned aren’t internalized—only the wish for the reward. Similarly, when parents use punishment to send a message, the punishments are usually resented, and the negative behavior increases.

The problems behind willful

You’re reading a preview, subscribe to read more.

More from Working Mother

Working Mother6 min readLeadership
First Words, Now Action
Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella said in an email to his employees in June, when protestors took to streets across the country after the death of George Floyd—yet another Black man insensibly killed by police. Caught on camera, the tragedy followed months
Working Mother25 min readRelationships
Methodology
The Application The 2020 Working Mother 100 Best Companies application includes more than 400 questions on leave policies, workforce representation, benefits, childcare, advancement programs, flexibility policies and more. It surveys the availability
Working Mother2 min read
Then and Now
JoAnne Brandes, who got SC Johnson to open an on-site childcare center, and daughter, Julianne Davan, director, communications and change management, pro sales and services, Lowe’s, on our April 1994 cover and today, with Julianne’s girls, Jordy, 7,