Too Weird To Function

By Alexia Daniels

Congratulations - having cracked the world of adulthood, you've just unlocked the secret level of being neurodivergent. Whether you're newly diagnosed, proudly self-identified, or still whispering "I think I might be...", this book is your loud, unapologetic permission slip to exist exactly as you are.

Packed with wit, warmth, and j

• Language: English
• Publisher: Alexia Daniels
• Release date: Aug 1, 2025
• ISBN: 9781068784057

Alexia Daniels

Alexia Daniels is a nurse and writer based on the picturesque south coast of England.Her debut novel, The House of Light & Air, is the first in a captivating series of historical dramas set in the chaotic world of English theatre, where the offstage drama is juicier, messier, and only slightly less scripted than real life.She then veered wildly off-genre with La Vida LoCo, a deeply personal, irreverent, and occasionally sweary book about Long Covid -the self-help book she never meant to write but kind of needed to. Following close behind (because apparently this is a thing now), Too Weird to Function is her second accidental self-help book, this time tackling neurodiversity in adults with the same unfiltered humour, existential shrieking, and meme-worthy honesty.Her next book, Sweet Murder, a twisty comedy mystery involving older people behaving horribly on holiday and homicide (not necessarily in that order), is due out in 2026.Alexia is a proud member of the Portsmouth Authors Collective, where she connects with fellow writers, shares the joys and miseries of publishing.

Book preview

Too Weird to Function

The Adult Neurodivergent's Guide to Making Peace With Your Wiring

Alexia Daniels

Copyright © Alexia Daniels 2025. All rights reserved.

This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

Any referenced to historical events, real people, or places are used fictitiously. Names, characters, and places are products of the author's imagination.

Printed in the United Kingdom.

First Printing , 2025

ISBN:- 978-1-0687840-4-0 (Paperback)

ISBN:- 978-1-0687840-5-7 (eBook)

Alexia Daniels

Southsea, Hampshire, UK.

Contents

1.Dedication

3.Introduction

4.What is Neurospicy?

5.Who This Book Is For

6.How to Use This Book Without Frying Your Brain

7.One Final Thing

9.Part One: WTF Is Neurospicy?

10.Neurospicy: A Working Definition

11.Double Trouble and Combo Brains: The Joy and Chaos of Co-Occurrence

12.Why Diagnosis Gets Complicated

13.Common Spicy Combos (and Their Shenanigans)

14.Practical Tips for Living with a Combo Brain

15.Where the Hell Did This Come From?

16.Disability or Disadvantage?

17.Is Neurodivergence Becoming More Common?

18.Why Neurodivergence Is Still a Massive Asset

19.Why You Didn't Get Diagnosed Sooner

20.The Gender Problem: The Wrong Brain

21.Race, Bias, and Being Overlooked

22.Being Trans or Nonbinary and Neurodivergent

23.Being Queer and Misunderstood

24.Chronic Illness and the Invisible Stuff

25.The Role of Medical Gaslighting

26.But Now You Know

27.What Happens When You Finally Learn the Truth

28.Who am I Really?

29.Is This a Disability?

30.Owning the Label (or Not)

31.Foggy Summary – Part One

33.Part Two – WTF Do I Feel Like This?

34.Executive Dysfunction: The Boss Left the Building

35.Emotional Intensity: Feelings, But Make Them LOUD

36.Interoception: Internal Feelings Gone Rogue

37.Hyperfocus & Time Blindness: The Twin Tyrants

38.Masking — The Costume That Grew Too Tight

39.Burnout: When You’ve Been Masking Too Hard

40.Sensory Joy: Not All Doom and Gloom

41.What’s It Like to Be Neurotypical

42.Daily Life with a Neurospicy Brain

43.Foggy Summary – Part Two

45.Part Three – HTF Do I Live Now?

46.Navigating Different Spaces Like a Stimming Ninja

47.Building a Neurospicy Toolkit

48.Should You Ask for Help? (And How)

49.Types of Help That Help

50.The Myth of Independence

51.When Asking for Help Makes People Treat You Like You're Stupid

52.Interdependence vs Codependence vs Go It Alone

53.Accommodations

54.Planning for Fluctuating Capacity

55.Unmasking Without Setting Fire to Everything

56.Advocacy: Loud, Proud, and Optional

57.Foggy Summary – Part Three

59.Part Four – WTF Happened To Me?

60.Why Didn’t Anyone Notice?

61.The Feelings That Follow Being Missed

62.Not Broken, Just Mislabeled

63.What Happened: A Reframe for the Spicy Soul

64.The Emotional Healing Process (With Extra Glitter and Grit)

65.Practical Ways to Practice Self-Compassion

66.And Now? There’s Rage.

67.Self-Acceptance is Not a Linear Journey

68.The Version of You Who Clocked It All, Actually

69.Owning Your Neurospice: The Superpower You Thought Was a Flaw

70.Foggy Summary – Part Four

72.Part Five – WTF Do I Say?

73.Boundaries, Belief & Burnout

74.The Well-Meaning But Wrong Brigade

75.When they Don't 'Believe' in Neurodivergence

76.Coming Out as Neurodivergent (Or Not)

77.Navigating Medical Appointments Without Meltdown

78.Foggy Summary – Part Five

80.Part Six – HTF Do I Keep Going?

81.Designing Systems That Actually Work (Even on Mondays)

82.The Emotional Maintenance Plan

83.Social Life When You’ve Just Realised You’ve Been Masking Since 1998

84.Keeping the Momentum When the Diagnosis Hype Wears Off

85.Routines That Actually Work (Sometimes)

86.The Sometimes Is Enough Philosophy

87.Managing Energy and Motivation in a Neurotypical World

88.Neurospicy Energy & Motivation Hacks That Actually Work

89.Your Energy Isn’t Broken. It’s Just… Custom-Built.

90.Finding Joy in Your Weirdness

91.You Were Never Too Much — You Were Just Around the Wrong People

92.Joy Rituals for the Neurospicy Soul

93.Friendship for the Neurospicy

94.Neurospicy Communication Styles

95.Neurodivergent Relationships & Dating

96.Navigating Neurodivergent Parenting When You’re the Neurodivergent Parent

97.Work & Employment

98.When Work Doesn't Work

99.Foggy Summary – Part Six

101.Part Seven – WTF About the System?

102.The Bureaucratic Boss Levels You’ll Probably Face

103.Common Gaslighting Traps (and How to Dodge Them)

104.Diagnosis Access: Private, NHS, or Not at All

105.What Benefits, Support, and Legal Protections Exist (UK Focus)

106.Benefits That Neurodivergent Adults Can Apply For (and Actually Deserve)

107.At University or College

108.Finding Community: Online Spaces That Don't Suck

109.Foggy Summary - Part Seven

110.In Conclusion, You’re Still Glorious

112.About The Author

113.Thank You

115.Appendices / Resources

Dedication

For the adult neurospicies:

Misdiagnosed, misunderstood, and outsmarting the system.

You weren’t broken — the world just came with a crap user manual.

Stay weird. Stay loud. Confuse the normals.

S ometimes I wonder what it’s like in a neurotypical brain… but then I get bored.

Introduction

Why This Book Exists (And Why You Might Be Reading It Upside Down)

So you’ve been diagnosed (or you suspect you might be) with something neurospicy — and you’re... not a child. You’re not a teen. You’re an actual grown-up human with a mortgage, job, or houseplants you routinely forget to water. Welcome to the club — we have snacks, mixed feelings, and a tendency to hyperfixate on niche topics (hello, beetle facts at 3 am).

Maybe you were told you had potential but struggled to meet it. Perhaps you’re exhausted from masking your entire personality. Maybe you’ve got a drawer full of half-started planners and the unshakeable feeling that everyone else got the life manual — and yours is written in a font your brain can’t decode.

Whatever path brought you here, I promise: you’re not lazy, broken, or dramatic. You’re likely neurodivergent. And nobody gave you the memo until now.

This book exists because once that memo does arrive — whether in the form of a formal diagnosis, a self-realisation, or a 2 am TikTok spiral — you need more than just labels. You need language, context, and community. You need validation and practical hacks and someone to say, Yep, me too. No, you’re not imagining it.

Because neurodivergence in adulthood is a plot twist, a reframe. A reroute. It flips your understanding of who you are, how you got here, and what it means to live authentically from now on.

This is for the people who:

Wondered for years why life felt harder than it should be.

Learned to laugh through burnout.

Thought they were the only ones crying in the supermarket car park.

Thought they just had to try harder.

This is your permission to stop trying to be someone else’s version of normal. And start becoming your version of whole.

Also, if you are reading this upside down — well, fair. Some of us like to start at the back. Some of us skim. Some of us highlight aggressively, and others just read chapter titles and vibes. All valid.

There’s no right way to neurodiverge. There’s no wrong way to read this book.

You’re here. That’s enough. Let’s begin.

What is Neurospicy?

N eurospicy is the affectionate term we’re using in this book for the various flavours of neurodivergence. It’s not a clinical term, obviously, but it is a way to talk about brains that work a bit differently without falling into clinical coldness or pathologising everything. Think of it as a spectrum of colours. Some of us are just a little grey, while others are full-on yellow with a side of glitter.

Here’s a non-exhaustive list of the usual suspects:-

ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) – Sometimes hyperactive, sometimes inattentive, sometimes both, always misjudged by people who think you need to focus harder. Spoiler: You don’t need to focus harder; you need interest-based dopamine delivery.

ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) – The quieter cousin of ADHD, and often dismissed entirely because you weren’t climbing the curtains. You were probably staring at the curtains. For three hours. While forgetting what you were meant to be doing.

Autism (or being autistic) – Not a disorder, but a different operating system entirely. Often involves sensory sensitivities, social confusion (especially around small talk and eye contact), and a deep affection for routine, honesty, and hyperfixations. Autistic joy is a real thing. So is autistic burnout.

Dyslexia – Your brain doesn’t decode text the way the school system wants it to. It has nothing to do with intelligence and everything to do with how you process symbols, sounds, and sequences. You’re not bad at reading. You’re brilliant at pattern recognition. Also, audiobooks are valid books.

Dyspraxia (Developmental Coordination Disorder) – The reason some of us move like malfunctioning video game characters. Tripping, bumping into doorframes, and struggling to learn sequences of movement. It can also affect speech, memory, and organisation.

Dyscalculia – Like dyslexia, but with numbers. Basic maths can feel like decoding alien runes. You’re not bad with money, your brain processes quantities and patterns differently. Calculators are your friends.

Dysgraphia – Writing is a battlefield. Handwriting may look like ancient cave art. Fine motor skills might be tricky. But your ideas? Still fire.

Auditory Processing Disorder (APD) – Your ears work fine. Your brain just takes the scenic route to figure out what was said. Group conversations = chaos. Following verbal instructions = often hilarious.

Sensory Processing Differences – You know that tag in your jumper that makes you want to burn the whole outfit? Or how fluorescent lights feel like getting yelled at? That.

And let’s not forget…

The Lexia Collective – Because many of these overlap, blend, and show up together. School reports might’ve said bright but distractible, struggles to follow instructions, or often away with the fairies. Translation: neurospicy and no one spotted it.

Spicy Combos – ADHD + Autism? Dyslexia + Dyspraxia? Welcome to the world of double (or triple) seasoning. Co-occurrence is the rule, not the exception. Think of it like brain tapas — a little bit of everything, often overlapping, always interesting.

Important note: You don’t need to tick every box or have a formal diagnosis to resonate with these terms. Neurodivergence isn’t one-size-fits-all. It’s a spectrum, a constellation, a gloriously messy mosaic.

You’re not here to be categorised neatly. You’re here to understand yourself more honestly. And maybe to laugh a little along the way.

Now that we’ve met the cast, let’s talk about what it feels like to be neurospicy because that’s where the real story begins.

Who This Book Is For

Adults who’ve just been diagnosed (or suspect they might be) with any flavour of neurodivergence and are wondering what now?

People who feel like they’ve spent a lifetime trying to ‘pass’ for normal — and now realise why it’s been so bloody exhausting.

Women, non-binary folks, and men who were missed because their traits didn’t fit the stereotype. (Spoiler: the stereotype is rubbish.)

Parents, partners, therapists, managers and the curious who want to understand the adult neurodivergent experience better.

Anyone who needs laughter, validation, and a break from trying to explain why everything feels like scaling Everest.

How to Use This Book Without Frying Your Brain

This is not a textbook . This is a sidekick, a pep talk, a gently sarcastic guide through the land of late-diagnosed neurodivergence. Read it like a tapas menu: dip in, nibble, come back to your favourites.

You'll find:

Short sections in each Part, because attention is a skittish thing

Summary for the Foggy sections if your brain stopped mid-page

Practical tips, emotional honesty, and absolutely no toxic positivity

Space for notes, scribbles, rants, and joyful a-ha moments

Jokes - because if you can’t laugh at yourself, it’s time to go to bed.

If you need to read this while wrapped in a weighted blanket with a fan on and subtitles running for comfort? Perfect. You’re doing it right.

One Final Thing

This book isn’t here to fix you. You don’t need fixing.

You were never broken — only mislabelled, misunderstood, and misdirected. This book is here to meet you exactly where you are, in all your glorious, messy, beautifully chaotic wholeness. It’s here to explain what’s going on in language that doesn’t make you cry (unless from laughter), and help you unhook yourself from the shame and self-blame that comes from living in a world designed for a different kind of brain.

This isn’t the kind of book that demands transformation. This is the kind of book that offers a warm blanket, a flashlight, and a messy but hopeful hand-drawn map for the journey ahead. You can pick it up when you’re thriving or when you’re mid-meltdown. Both are valid entry points.

This book says: You’re not imagining it. You’re not making excuses. You’re just navigating a world that doesn’t run on your operating system — and you’re doing it with humour, resilience, and probably a particular snack in your pocket.

So, if no one’s told you lately:

You’re doing better than you think.

It’s okay to need help.

Rest is productive.

Your worth is not measured by output.

And it’s never too late to rewrite your story.

Ready? Let’s unravel the mystery, make peace with the past, and embrace your gloriously neurospicy future — one chapter, meltdown, and breakthrough at a time.

You’re not late. You’re right on time. You’re not alone. You’re one of us now. Let’s go.

I don’t ‘zone out’ — I mentally relocate to another timeline where I remembered to send that email.

Part One: WTF Is Neurospicy?

The Day I Realised I Wasn't Just Tired and Disorganised

There are moments in life you never forget. Your first kiss. Your first heartbreak. The day you accidentally put your phone in the fridge and your car keys in the washing machine, and thought, This is normal, right?

Turns out, it wasn’t.

For years, I chalked it up to being a bit hopeless. Clumsy. Scatterbrained. The sort of person who couldn’t keep a planner going past March, whose phone was always on 3%, and who lived in a permanent state of mild chaos. I thought everyone had a brain that buzzed like a wasp in a jar. I assumed everyone reheated the same cup of coffee three times and still never drank it. That the constant forgetting, the time blindness, the overwhelm at the idea of opening emails — that was just part of being an adult.

Spoiler: It’s not.

I didn’t realise that most people don’t need a full-body pep talk to start a task they chose themselves. That they don’t regularly lose their train of