About this ebook
The striking sophomore poetry collection from the award-winning author of the “beautiful, vulnerable, honest” (Ross Gay, New York Times bestselling author) I Can’t Talk About the Trees Without the Blood.
Dive between the borders of ruined and radical love with this lyrical poetry collection that explores topics as expansive as divorce, the first Black Bachelorette, and the art world. Stanzas shift between reverence to irreverence as they take us on a journey through institutional and historical pains alongside sensuality and queer, Black joys.
From a generational voice that “earns a place among the pantheon of such emerging black poets as Eve L. Ewing, Nicole Sealey, and Airea D. Matthews” (Booklist, starred review), Scorched Earth is a transcendent anthology for our times.
Tiana Clark
Tiana Clark is the author of the poetry collections Scorched Earth; I Can’t Talk About the Trees Without the Blood, which won the 2017 Agnes Lynch Starrett Prize; and Equilibrium, which won the 2016 Frost Place Chapbook Competition. Clark’s other honors include a Pushcart Prize, a Kate Tufts Discovery Award, and fellowships from the National Endowment for the Arts and the Bread Loaf Writers’ Conference. She is a graduate of Vanderbilt University and Tennessee State University, where she studied Africana and women’s studies. She is the Grace Hazard Conkling Writer-in-Residence at Smith College. Find out more at TianaClark.com.
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Book preview
Scorched Earth - Tiana Clark
PROLOGUE
Then I know that there is room in me for a second huge and timeless life.
—RAINER MARIA RILKE
Proof
I once made a diorama from a shoebox
for a man I loved. I was never a crafty person,
but found tiny items at an art store and did my best
to display the beginning bud of our little love,
a scene re-creating our first kiss in his basement
apartment, origin story of an eight-year marriage.
In the dollhouse section, I bought a small ceiling fan.
Re-created his black leather couch, even found minuscule
soda cans for the cardboard counters that I cut and glued.
People get weird about divorce. Think it’s contagious.
Think it dirty. I don’t need to make it holy, but it purifies—
it’s clear. Sometimes the science is simple. Sometimes
people love each other but don’t need each other
anymore. Though I think the tenderness can stay
(if you want it to). I forgive and keep forgiving,
mostly myself. People still ask, What happened?
I know you want a reason, a caution to avoid,
but life rarely tumbles out a cheat sheet. Sometimes
nobody is the monster. I keep seeing him for the first
time at the restaurant off of West End where we met
and worked and giggled at the micros. I keep seeing his
crooked smile and open server book fanned with cash
before we would discover and enter another world
and come back barreling into this one, astronauts
for the better and for the worse, but still spectacular
as we burned back inside this atmosphere to live
separate lives inside other shadow boxes we cannot see.
I remember I said I hate you once when we were driving
back to Nashville, our last long distance. I didn’t mean it.
I said it to hurt him, and it did. I regret that I was capable
of causing pain. I think it’s important to implicate
the self. The knife shouldn’t exit the cake clean.
There is still some residue, some proof of puncture,
some scars you graze to remember the risk.
I.
THERE IS STILL SOME RESIDUE
Self-Portrait at Divorce
The day my husband left
I accidentally set off the house alarm
and the dog finally curled into my chest
like a warm croissant of cream fur and you
had replaced the trash bag for the last time
and the recycling and I walked into
your office and I wept and wept inside
your pillow on our bed (whoops) I mean my bed
a California king our biggest bed yet because
we wanted space for our long bodies to stretch
and room for the dog to splay and I put water
in the dog bowl and I told myself that I had to remember
to do that because you had always done that simple task
and you often reminded me to do it when I forgot and I didn’t
want our dog to die of thirst and you left a cup of water
on the end table by the couch we had picked out the year before—
we had just walked into an Ashley furniture store on a Saturday
and sat on the first fake living room set and said this is us
like we knew what we wanted but we did that day (we did)
and it was easy (which was rare for us)—and I put your last cup
of water to my mouth and I guessed where your mouth
might have been on the rim and I pressed my lips to the glass
(I had the nicest lips like two pillows you always said)
and I kissed the cup and poured out the rest of the water
into the sink and it wasn’t an offering to anything and I put
the cup in the dishwasher and I started to tremble and the house
seemed (smelled?) like it was a train but it was just the actual train
that rumbles behind our house (I mean my house)
and you called and told me you went to the hospital
for chest pains and I wasn’t with you at the walk-in clinic
but you said I was still your emergency contact
and I slept on the couch that night because I didn’t want
to sleep in our (I mean) my big bed and I wanted to grovel my way
back to the complacency of us and I wanted to grasp at the stomach
of anyone and I wanted the almost-happy home we had
and I keep walking into each room and staring at the objects
that we bought together remembering fights at Target laughter
at Target splitting up and conquering a to-do list at Target
and those little zapper guns they gave us at Target when we
registered for our wedding gifts and I haven’t showered
in days I have a sourness to me and the lids of my eyes
are swollen like tiny beige water balloons from all the sobbing
and I wanted to end this poem with gladness instead of the sound
of the knife drawer opening and closing opening and closing music
of metals and cabinet wood jingle and the clink of steel blades
and measuring spoons rustling against their edges and contours
and I didn’t harm myself because
