Cotton: A Dixie Reapers Bad Boys Romance

By Harley Wylde

Sometimes love is the only weapon against unspeakable evil.

Lavinia -- I thought love was my salvation, until my Prince Charming turned out to be not so princely. Then my pregnancy only made my relationship with Tyler spiral into an even worse nightmare. Trapped in a cycle of pain and fear, I worry there’s no escape. Until Cotton rides into my life. He sees through my pain and vows to keep me safe. But Tyler isn’t finished with me, and this time there’s more at stake. Escaping may cost me everything. Maybe even my life.

Cotton -- I’ve seen my share of darkness, but the cruelty Lavinia has endured is heartbreaking. I know I’m too old for her, but I’m all she’s got. Whatever it takes, I have to keep her from Tyler. Even if it means making her mine. I promised her protection, gave her nights full of passion… but when danger strikes, my promise is broken. I’ll get her back, even if it means sending Tyler straight to hell. Because Lavinia is mine, and I won’t stop until she’s back in my arms.

Embark on this thrilling, emotional ride and see if love can conquer all.

WARNING: intended for readers 18+ due to bad language, violence, and adult situations. Cotton contains scenes that may trigger sensitive readers.

Copyright Notification: All Changeling Press LLC publications and cover art are copyright and may not be used in any AI generated work. No AI content is included or allowed in any Changeling Press LLC publication or artwork.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Changeling Press
• Release date: Oct 11, 2024

Book preview

Chapter One

Cotton

I sat on the edge of the bed, my hands clasped together so tightly my knuckles turned white. The pressure helped ground me, keeping me tethered to the present. The past threatened to suck me under, drag me back down to the dark place where sleep was nearly impossible. I’d come a long way in the last year, but the guilt still ate at me, gnawing at my insides until I thought I might explode from the pain. My head bowed, so I closed my eyes, resting my elbows on my knees.

No matter how much time passed, I didn’t think I’d ever be able to forgive myself. Roe had told me more than once what happened wasn’t my fault. The demons in my head didn’t seem to care. Roe had been a victim. So had I. Knowing that hadn’t stopped me from thinking I could have done more, something to prevent what happened.

My brow furrowed, and my jaw clenched. The tension in my body made my muscles ache. Would I ever be able to let it go? Hell, would I ever want to? As the memories played in a continuous loop, I shifted on the bed, trying to find a comfortable position. When that didn’t help, I dragged my hand through my hair. The knots in my stomach made me nauseous. I hadn’t eaten much in the last few days. Seemed like the demon in my head had decided to visit.

Those memories could go fuck themselves. I knew I should get up, eat something, maybe hang out in the clubhouse. Except I couldn’t seem to make myself move. As I sat there, the edge of the bed digging into my ass, I stared at the room. Never needed a lot, but even this felt like it was closing in on me.

A few personal items dotted the room. Nothing too girly. I had a framed photo of Roe, something I probably should have put away. The book on my nightstand had been read so many times it was about to fall apart. Next chance I got, I’d order another one.

I peered down at my arm, my gaze snagging on the US Navy-themed ink. Remembering my time back then wasn’t always easy. The weight of what I’d done sometimes kept me awake, but those memories? They were easier to live with than what happened a year ago.

When I turned my head, I caught a glimpse of the photo. My chest tightened, and I forced myself to look away. Once I’d found out where Roe was living, I’d tried to let it all go… the guilt mostly. Thinking about her didn’t help. Roe had moved on, gotten married. She didn’t need me to protect her, but that didn’t stop me from wanting to make sure she was always safe. Not like I could help her if shit ever hit the fan. I’d been fucking useless that night.

I pushed to my feet and paced the room. As I made my third or fourth round, I sat on the edge of the bed again with a sigh. The tension in my shoulders was back, and I knew no matter how tired I was, sleep would evade me. I rubbed at my chest, wishing the ache sitting right behind my sternum would ease.

The silence didn’t help. If anything, it made things worse. I could hear every creak of the floorboards as I moved. Even my sighs sounded loud in the otherwise empty space. Maybe I needed to get back to work. Sitting on my ass around the house hadn’t done me any favors. I still hadn’t worked up the nerve to hunt down a woman to scratch my itch. Did I even have an itch anymore? It should have been impossible for me to go this long without pussy. I hadn’t had sex since…

I buried my face in my hands and inhaled deeply, then slowly blew it out. Despite how much I didn’t want to admit it, guilt pressed in on me. The same guilt that kept me from wanting to find someone. The same guilt that ate at me every day.

I straightened and lifted my head. I’d been the victim of a crime. So had Roe. The club hadn’t blamed me, and they’d let me stay without any questions. Don’t know what I’d have done without them.

Would there ever come a time I could think of Roe without pain piercing my chest? If I’d known the drinks were drugged, that she wasn’t willing, I’d have never touched her. But I couldn’t change the past.

My phone rang, and I jumped, startled out of my thoughts. I reached for it, my hand hesitating. My jaw tightened when I spied Bear’s name on the screen. Yeah?

Think you can join us for a drink at the clubhouse? Bear’s gruff voice came through the speaker. We’re going to shoot some pool, maybe play some cards.

I didn’t say anything. Hell, I didn’t know what to say. On the one hand, I could use a drink. On the other, what good was a beer if I couldn’t stop thinking about Roe?

We’re worried about you. Don’t want to push, but you’ve been cooped up in that house for a long damn time. Might do you some good to hang out for a little while. Bear’s tone softened, enough I knew he meant the words.

I ran a hand through my hair and rested it on the back of my neck. You’re offering to babysit me?

Bear snorted. The fuck we are. I’m saying we need one more guy for a proper poker game and you’re it. If you want to drink a beer or shoot a game of pool while you’re at it, so be it. He huffed out a breath. It’s not babysitting. It’s called spending time with your brothers.

I don’t think I --

Don’t give me that. If you didn’t want company, you wouldn’t still be with us. You could have moved on. Instead, you stayed. That means you’re still one of us, and you need to get your ass over here. Don’t make me come find you.

A smile tugged at my lips, but it felt rusty. How long since I’d genuinely smiled? Fine. I’ll be there in a couple minutes.

Good. I’m going to set the table up. Don’t keep us waiting long, he warned as he hung up.

I stared at Roe’s photo one more time. I kissed the tips of my fingers and pressed them to the glass. Maybe someday you’ll be out of my head. Until then, I guess I’m just going through the motions. I nodded to myself and headed to the clubhouse.

As I stepped through the doors, the sounds of my brothers’ laughter, clinking beer bottles, the scent of leather pulled me in. I paused just inside the entrance and took a deep breath. Biker life. My life. Why was I having a hard time reminding myself of that? I let my breath out slowly as I surveyed the room.

Some of the guys were shooting pool. The old, worn-down pool table had seen better days. Fox had found it at a garage sale and brought it here a few months ago. Now that we didn’t have women at the clubhouse, it was a nice addition. With all the families around here, things seemed to constantly change. For the better in all honesty.

Bear came toward me and lifted a beer in my direction. I hesitated and then reached out and took it. He didn’t say anything, just gave me a nod. Fangs walked over and slapped me on the back.

Good to see you out and about, brother. You clean up all right. He gave me a crooked grin. Glad you joined us.

I handled the beer, my fingers curling around the bottle. I took a few steps into the room before I froze. I forced a smile that felt more like a grimace.

It didn’t take long before everyone made it a point to come over and say something to me. My brothers didn’t blame me for what had happened, and they did their best to make sure I knew that every day. Even after Roe left. While that support should have made me feel better, it hadn’t. Because I blamed myself.

After a few minutes, I relaxed a bit more. Or maybe the beer helped. I felt like I’d been pushed out of my comfort zone. Had it ever really been my comfort zone? I stood near the bar with Bear and leaned against it. He didn’t say anything, just stayed with me. His not-so-subtle way of letting me know he’d probably kick my ass if I tried to flee. Damnit. All I wanted to do was go back home. I’d promised to play poker, though. I might just get my ass kicked in the game, but I’d keep my word.

Maybe I could make an excuse and leave soon. I was probably a downer. Instead of pitching a fit, they’d decided to make me the guest of honor. I tried to keep the scowl off my face but didn’t know how successful I’d been.

I felt like I had a noose around my neck, and Bear was tightening it when he put his arm around my shoulders. He gave me what he probably thought was an understanding look.

My fingers squeezed around my beer bottle, my knuckles turning white. I didn’t have to look to know Bear would see it.

Bear’s grip on my shoulder added a little more pressure. I didn’t try to shrug him off. My big bro wasn’t one of the most patient of men. If I did anything to upset him, he’d speechify, and I’d never be able to get away. Instead, I stared at the floor. Why was I having a hard time remembering what it felt like to have fun?

Bear cleared his throat, and I glanced at him. The older man’s brown eyes held more than a hint of concern. His voice was gruff when he spoke. You’ve punished yourself long enough, Cotton. Time to let go of the shit in your past. It ain’t your fault. None of that shit was.

I clenched my jaw and turned away.

It’s been over a year, Bear said. "I know what you went through wasn’t easy, but no one blames you -- except you. Sometimes, you need to say fuck it and move on. Not for the club. For yourself."

I shrugged. Easier said than done.

His hand dropped away from my shoulder, but only so he could spin me around. He pulled me in for a bear hug. Despite his age, the man’s grip was still plenty firm. He let go and leveled a look in my direction.

If you missed Roe so much, you’d have gone after her. Bear folded his arms over his chest and studied me. That’s not what keeps you up at night. You’re carrying guilt that’s not yours to carry. You understand?

Yeah, I did. Didn’t mean it made a damn bit of difference. The only thing that had kept me going after that shit went down was Roe. I’d made sure she was okay. I knew she didn’t want me, and if I tried to see her, it would be hell on the both of us. Maybe I did need to move on. It still didn’t make it easy.

I could see the concern on Bear’s face. He wasn’t my dad, but he was the closest thing I had to one. When I’d joined Hades Abyss, he’d taken me under his wing. I knew he still blamed himself for what happened, same as me.

You keep beating yourself up, and you’ll be one of those guys who wastes away in his room. You gonna let shit keep you down? Or you gonna get off your ass and start living again?

Did I have a choice? I didn’t think anyone would care if I did waste away. No one other than my brothers. I’ve always appreciated all you’ve done for me. Even now.

He gave me a slight smile. I know, Cotton. But you’re still gonna move on. One way or another. You give me trouble, I’ll help you out of that fucking house and find you something to do. Understand?

Didn’t sound like I had much of a choice.

Now, stop with the puppy dog eyes and drink your beer, Bear said. Time for you to live a little. We love you, brother. It’s why we don’t want to see you like this.

I gave a slight nod. Even if I agreed with him, I didn’t know how to shake this shit. Maybe I never would. Some days were easier than others.

I stared down at my beer, my fingers drumming lightly on the bottle. The glass sweat and the puddle spread on the bar top. I heard the others around me, but I couldn’t make myself join them. I stayed tense and withdrawn. If I forced myself to smile and act like nothing was wrong, would they believe me?

I can’t wait to see everyone again, Fangs said. I didn’t mean to, but my ears perked up, and I inched a little closer. It’s been way too long. You think they’ll have the bull riding this time?

Hard to say, Hornet said. I know last time they tried, too many people had flashed their phones around. A few of the girls were halfway naked after they got thrown off the bull.

My lips twitched. It sounded like they’d had fun. I kept listening, their voices carrying over the rest of the clubhouse noise. I realized I was leaning toward them and jerked myself back. I stared hard at my beer, determined to ignore them. That resolve lasted all of three seconds.

I peeked their way.

I heard Smoke will be there, Fangs said. He usually has some kickass weed. Way better than the shit you get around here.

Hornet chuckled. You only go for the drugs. You could care less about seeing anyone.

Guilty. Fangs glanced my way and grinned. You’re more than welcome to tag along, Cotton. We’re leaving in the morning.

I wanted to refuse. My mouth opened and closed. I saw the concern in both their eyes. Since they’d joined up, Hornet and Fangs had been good friends. We might be different in age, but the same things drew us to this life.

Don’t worry about it. I’m sure I can find something… I paused. Are you going out of town?

Yeah. Why? You thinking of coming? Hornet asked.

Why did everyone worry so much about me? I appreciated it, but it made me feel a little stifled. I knew they didn’t mean to. They were good men.

Where are you going? I asked. What’s this gathering?

Not that far. Just a few hours. Bunch of us used to meet up once a month on someone’s property, have a big party. We’d have a bull ride, sometimes a wet T-shirt contest, stuff like that. Nothing like a biker gathering. Just a bunch of friends. Fangs grinned. You wouldn’t have to worry about putting on your colors. We all pretended to be normal for a little while.

I arched an eyebrow. You? Pretended to be normal?

Shocking, I know. You’ll have fun. Not sure why we stopped going. The property is so remote, no one shows up who isn’t supposed to be there. I guess when we joined Hades Abyss, we thought it was cutting ties or something. I’ve stayed in touch with a few of them, though. It’ll be interesting to see who shows.

Again, they looked at me waiting for a response. They really wanted me to tag along. I hated to burst their bubble. I didn’t do groups. Especially with a bunch of strangers.

What’s got you so curious? Fangs asked. You’ve been holed up in your house for so long, I’m amazed Bear got you out tonight.

Can’t say I had much choice. I took a long pull from my beer. Guess Bear thought I’d have fun if I joined everyone.

Don’t get all worked up over the mention of weed. Hornet scowled. Weed’s fucking legal in some states, and even if it wasn’t, you know no one here cares. It’s not like you’re shooting up. Besides, you always have to be in control. I don’t see you letting loose enough to get stoned.

Had he called me a stick-in-the-mud? I glanced between them, seeing the faint challenge in Hornet’s eyes. He didn’t think I’d go with them. Damn my hide, I wanted to prove him wrong. I shouldn’t let him bait me like that.

I stood and set my beer on the bar. What time we leaving?

Fangs whooped. Better get us a case of beer for our trip. Cotton’s coming with us!

Hornet laughed. You’re gonna need some caffeine too. I don’t want you falling asleep on us. I’m not leaving early in the morning, or riding a few hours to a party, for you to get there and not have a good time. You understand me?

Yeah, Hornet. I understand. I rolled my eyes. They’d mother hen me to death before the night ended.

I might have an extra beer, and maybe a few shots. It’d been a long time since I’d gone anywhere the way I was. Maybe because I hadn’t wanted a pity party. He’d thrown down the gauntlet, and I’d decided to pick it up.

Here’s hoping I didn’t regret it.

I leaned against the bar and stared at my beer, trying to block out the noise of the laughter