Heart Berries: A Memoir

By Terese Marie Mailhot

*A NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER & EDITORS' CHOICE*
Winner of the Spalding Prize for the Promotion of Peace and Justice in Literature
Finalist for the Governor General's Literary Award for English–Language Nonfiction
Selected by Emma Watson as the Our Shared Shelf Book Club Pick for March/April 2018

A powerful, poetic memoir of an Indigenous woman's coming of age on the Seabird Island Band in the Pacific Northwest—this New York Times bestseller and Emma Watson Book Club pick is “an illuminating account of grief, abuse and the complex nature of the Native experience . . . at once raw and achingly beautiful" (NPR)

Having survived a profoundly dysfunctional upbringing only to find herself hospitalized and facing a dual diagnosis of post traumatic stress disorder and bipolar II disorder, Terese Marie Mailhot is given a notebook and begins to write her way out of trauma. The triumphant result is Heart Berries, a memorial for Mailhot's mother, a social worker and activist who had a thing for prisoners; a story of reconciliation with her father―an abusive drunk and a brilliant artist―who was murdered under mysterious circumstances; and an elegy on how difficult it is to love someone while dragging the long shadows of shame.

Mailhot trusts the reader to understand that memory isn't exact, but melded to imagination, pain, and what we can bring ourselves to accept. Her unique and at times unsettling voice graphically illustrates her mental state. As she writes, she discovers her own true voice, seizes control of her story, and, in so doing, reestablishes her connection to her family, to her people, and to her place in the world.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Counterpoint
• Release date: Feb 13, 2018
• ISBN: 9781619024236

Terese Marie Mailhot

Terese Marie Mailhot graduated from the Institute of American Indian Arts with an MFA in fiction. Heart Berries, her first book, was shortlisted for the 2018 Governor General's Literary Award for Nonfiction. She teaches creative writing at Purdue University and resides in West Lafayette, Indiana.

Book preview

PRAISE FOR

HEART BERRIES

The work is transcendent in the most literal sense, surpassing every readerly expectation about genre and form to create a truly unique book. Mailhot . . . writes deftly about mental illness and indigenous identity, about failure and yearning and ambition. And all of it is unified and amplified by Mailhot’s singular voice: bold and poetic and elegant. This is a short book that packs a punch.

—Thrillist

"Terese Mailhot’s debut memoir, Heart Berries, is a book for women who are learning to navigate anger . . . Explicitly discussing mental health and anger as Mailhot does combats systems meant to keep us silent about our pain and internal struggles . . . Mailhot doesn’t just name her pain. She shouts it, and in the process, creates a space for other American Indian women to do the same."

—B*tch

Sharp and scorching . . . It’s exciting to think that a person might be able to write their way out of seemingly insurmountable personal, cultural and historical trauma. It’s even more exciting to actually watch someone appear, at least partly, to do so . . . This unconventional epic should be part of the canon.

—KATHLEEN ROONEY, Chicago Tribune

With concise, lyrical prose, Mailhot illuminates her history—an abusive parent, a teen marriage, and a child removed from her care by the courts—in a way that feels as much like an elegy as a collection of memories.

—LAUREN HUBBARD, Harper’s Bazaar

This is not just a work of memoir, it is a work of poetry, of song, of art. It is a thing of beauty.

—Book Riot

"Heart Berries is a bruising story, purposefully intense, dark and yet light-filled, in which the act of cleaning is a distraction from pain and also a memorialization of suffering."

—Literary Hub

Mailhot’s memoir isn’t just another confession of the hells of living with PTSD and BiPolar disorder: it’s a woman writing herself out of the darkness and into acceptance of the events in her life.

—The Coil

Her poetic memoir is painfully straight to the point—in the best way possible. It’s a pleasure to read along as she takes control of her life and finds her voice.

—HelloGiggles

"Heart Berries is a poetic, coming-of-age memoir told through essays that explore everything from motherhood and daughterhood, to love and loss, to family and identity, to the intersections of art and mental illness, and more. Above all, perhaps, it is a story about women telling stories—the power of women speaking (or writing) hard truths about their lives."

—Bustle

In an age when memoirs are all the rage (for better or worse), this one stands out . . . Somehow, [Mailhot] has found the words—most unusual ones—to tell her story, and because she uses words in such strange ways, the result is spooky and powerful . . . A roller coaster of a read, and perhaps one especially valuable for those who have struggled with mental illness and/or obsessive love.

—Star-Tribune (Minneapolis)

"Mailhot asks us as readers to push beyond our outworn notions concerning female experience, mental illness, motherhood, and more, in order to inhabit that transcendent ambiguity and complexity she reaches . . . Heart Berries takes us on a tour of these very confounding complications and we’re richer for it."

—Kenyon Review

Searing . . . A harrowing story of illness, loss, and abuse, as well as the restorative power of writing one’s story and having it recognized by others.

—Public Books

In gorgeous prose and with searing honesty, she shares her fight for both love and independence.

—Read It Forward

Mailhot works language like a poet and lets memory and time twist around to elicit from herself deeper truths about childhood trauma, mental illness, Native identity, love, romance, and motherhood.

—Pasatiempo

In the poetic essays that compose this memoir, Terese Marie Mailhot examines coming of age on the Seabird Island Indian Reservation in the Pacific Northwest; post traumatic stress disorder and bipolar II disorder; memorializing her mother; reconciling with her father; and more.

—Autostraddle

Her story is surprising and illuminating, pushing away from traditional narratives and expected boundaries . . . Her own gift is the ability to speak the truth without fear of consequence.

—Guernica

"Heart Berries shook me to my core. It wasn’t just the emotionally jarring, painful experiences shared by author Terese Marie Mailhot . . . but also by her unembellished, electric prose."

—Inlander

Brief but mighty.

—THE Magazine

Presenting herself at times as ‘ruined’—and ‘ruining’—she radiates a vulnerability that Fields’s deft narration captures. Mailhot’s questions and answers at the audiobook’s end are especially enlightening; listeners may want to listen once through, then loop back a second time to fully absorb her intimate honesty.

—AudioFile

"In this poetic memoir of remarkable lyric power, debut author Terese Marie Mailhot blends a deeply personal narrative with fierce (and often funny) political consciousness in sentences so lean that reading them smarts . . . The immense hurt in this book cannot dim the steady beam of Mailhot’s brilliance. Heart Berries is a triumph to relish."

—The Riveter

"Through this beautifully written memoir we get glimpses, snapshots and explicit details of her experience . . . It goes without saying Heart Berries is necessary today."

—Rebel Women Lit

"In these 11 essays, Mailhot takes readers on her journey toward personal truth: a messy, revelatory process reflected both in the book’s narrative structure and its searing, poetic language . . . A lyrical work from a remarkable new author, Heart Berries is a triumph."

—The Gazette (Iowa)

This book is ache and balm. It is electric honesty and rigorous craft. It concerns a woman who veers into difficult and haunted corners. She meets ghosts and hospitals. She ends up in a mutinous wing of memoir, disobeying all colonial postures, ‘neat narratives,’ formulas, and governments. The resulting story is brave and bewitching. I am so grateful to Terese Marie Mailhot, a fiery new voice, whose words devoured my heart.

—KYO MACLEAR, bestselling author of Birds Art Life

There is some word we have not invented yet that means honesty to the hundredth power, that means courage, exponentially extended, that means I will flay myself for my art, for my survival, for my family, to keep breathing, to keep writing, to keep being alive. Inside that opening is beauty beyond all measure, the truth that art was invented to carry, and power enough to light the word. This book is that kind of opening.

—PAM HOUSTON, author of Contents May Have Shifted

"Heart Berries makes me think of a quote I have always loved: ‘Beauty is truth, truth beauty’ (Keats). With a keen eye for intense truth and thoroughly crafted beauty, Mailhot’s debut sings like poetry, and stays with you long after you’ve finished the last page."

—KATHERENA VERMETTE, award-winning author of The Break

"Heart Berries is phenomenal. I finished the book and went right back to the beginning to read through once again; my understanding deepened, as did the mystery. Mailhot’s voice is so clear, so disruptive, so assured, and always so mesmerizingly poetic—it somehow startles and lulls all at once. I was KNOCKED DOWN."

—JUSTIN TORRES, author of We the Animals

"Unearthing medicine and receiving power requires you to give your life, and in her debut memoir, Mailhot fearlessly delivers. By turns tender, sad, angry, and funny, Heart Berries is a thought-provoking, powerful exploration of what it means to be a contemporary Indigenous woman and mother."

—EDEN ROBINSON, author of the Scotiabank Giller Prize short-listed novel Son of a Trickster

In this debut memoir, Terese Marie Mailhot sends across generations a love letter to women considered difficult. She sends a manifesto toward remembering—culture and heartbreak and laughter. She writes to the men who love these women. She writes prose tight as a perfect sheet, tucked . . . To read this book is to engage with one of our very best minds at work.

—TONI JENSEN, author of From the Hilltop

This stunning, poetic memoir from Terese Marie Mailhot burns like hot coal. I read it in a single feverish session, completely absorbed and transported by Mailhot’s powerful and original voice . . . The strength of her writing comes from Mailhot’s fearless embrace of emotional darkness and in her depiction of the psychic cost of living in a white man’s world.

—BookPage

Mailhot fearlessly addresses intimately personal issues with a scorching honesty derived from psychological pain and true epiphany . . . Slim, elegiac, and delivered with an economy of meticulous prose, the book calibrates the author’s history as an abused child and an adult constantly at war with the demons of mental illness. An elegant, deeply expressive meditation infused with humanity and grace.

—Kirkus Reviews

Mailhot’s first book defies containment and categorization. In titled essays, it is a poetic memoir told in otherworldly sentences . . . Not shy, nor raw, nor typical in any way, this is a powerfully crafted and vulnerable account of living and writing about it.

—Booklist

Heart Berries

Heart Berries

Copyright © 2018 by Terese Marie Mailhot

First Counterpoint paperback edition: 2019

All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission from the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations

Reviews for Heart Berries

[aapremlall · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Just finished reading Heart Berries by
Terese Marie Mailhot and it broke me into a thousand pieces.

I had to read it in pieces. And remember to breathe.

There's so much emotion being awakened inside of me, by these words. Some things that I don't want to think about or feel. Other things that create a longing and heartache from fresh wounds with barely a scab.

[jennybeast · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This is not ordinarily the sort of book I pick up, but I found it powerful and disturbing and heart wrenching to read. Mailhot writes her madness in an extraordinarily compelling way, one that viscerally portrays the abuse and trauma at the heart of her story. Every time I went to put it down, I found myself compelled to pick it up again.

Advanced Reader's Copy provided by Edelweiss.

[overgaard-2 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

if read in a different mood might have liked it better - admire the writer enormously

[booklover217 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

"Nothing is too ugly for this world, I think. It's just that people pretend not to see."

QOTD: What memoirs did you read this year that you loved?

Heart Berries by Terese Mailhot is one of my favorite memoirs I read this year. I read this one back in July and it is only now that I can fully process some of my thoughts and feelings. Mailhot's writing is honest and raw and she holds nothing back. She bares all the ugliness on the pages but still leaves you with a semblance of hope. You're left contemplating about the complexities of the human condition and what it means to love so much that it hurts. You're also left wondering if it is possible to love someone fully when there is so much pain and trauma embedded in their loins.

Mailhot takes you through her battles with mental illness, the history and trauma of Indigenous people, motherhood and longing to be loved. The book reads like an open wound as she picks away at the scabs and scars that are left behind from her trauma. You especially see this in the ways that she speaks directly to the pain she feels of not being seen and loved by her children's father and how that pain almost mirrors "madness".

The writing is absolutely exquisite. I highlighted so many passages that need further introspection. I will definitely reread this one because I feel like it will hit differently every time. What stays with me the most is how she writes about Indigenous women's pain and explains how humanity was born from pain. It is felt on every page. The quote I still think about is: "My people cultivated pain. In the way that god cultivated his garden, with the foresight that he could not contain or protect the life within it. Humanity was born out of pain." She's not afraid to speak about it and boldly calls it out. This book is one that haunts me because of it's unflinching manner and the way it bravely speaks truth to power.

[reader1009-863136 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

adult nonfiction/memoir (woman of Native American heritage dealing with PTSD, bipolar II disorder, eating disorders, a difficult break up, and other challenges).
poetic and raw, loaded with emotion and meaning (though often I am not sure what exactly the meaning is)--an extremely talented writer with a unique voice. Not what I was expecting but a pleasant surprise.

old lady reader warnings: contains numerous f-bombs and explicit situations.

[forsanolim · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

3 stars for now, though I plan to reread at some point.

Heart Berries is Terese Marie Mailhot's memoir about life and coming-of-age as a First Nations woman in the Pacific Northwest. The book jumps around in time, with particular emphasis on various facets of Mailhot's experience of parenthood, both tracing her history with her own parents as well as her own experience of motherhood. Throughout, there are strong themes of abuse, addiction, and trauma.

I listened to this as an audiobook, and I'm not sure that I'd recommend it in that format. The audio itself is totally fine, bu the poetic and extremely nonlinear nature of the writing would, I think, be better suited to a physical page, so that you can reread and go back as necessary--I found that I got lost/confused a lot. The emotions in this book are really raw and powerful, however. I do hope to reread this sometime in physical format, and I suspect that my rating will go up at that point.

[whitreidtan · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

Hmmm. Sometimes there's a book that gets praised to the sky and back, one that wins awards and accolades in all corners of the literary world, one that I can't wait to get my hands on, but that I just can't connect with, can't even begin to glimpse why all the acclaim and glory have been piled on it and unfortunately Terese Marie Mailhot's Heart Berries is one of those books.

This short, honest memoir in essays from Mailhot, a Canadian Indigenous woman, feels more like prose poetry than a cohesive nonfiction narrative. It is an on the page grappling with her abusive childhood, the loss of custody of her first child, her own mental illnesses, her destructive tendencies, her complicated and damaging relationships, motherhood, the creative drive, her identity as an indigenous woman and her dysfunctional, trauma-filled life. She is introspective and raw in her writing; it is heavy and deeply personal. But the narrative is choppy and fragmented making it a struggle to want to follow her in her jumbled stream of consciousness. Mailhot jumps forward and backward in time, leaving the reader completely untethered in her story. This makes for a slow and deliberate reading experience but this same slowness highlights the oftentimes meaningless and pretentious writing masquerading as deep and lyrical. "Every door is the same when I kneel in a corner--with a hand over my mouth." (p. 14) But there's also the occasional powerful truth woven in as well. Most of Mailhot's essays are addressed to a boyfriend, opening herself to him, explaining her past and her present, but Mailhot also addresses her mother in the final piece of the memoir, remembering, confronting, lamenting. The unconventional structure of the book allows for a disjointed and incomplete telling, brushing past some of the defining moments of her life so far without elaborating and stripping the emotional content back to bare bone. I felt nothing by the end except profound relief that I was finished with the book. Many others have claimed this as a magnificent and important work, so perhaps don't necessarily take my word for it.

[dreesie-1 · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

I listened to this on Hoopla, and have to say I did not much enjoy the narrator. Her voice sounded way too young (like 16-20 to me), and I found her enunciation too deliberate. It was almost hard to listen to--I would not have lasted through a longer book. So my experience of this book may be swayed by this poor listening experience. So much of audiobooks is about the narrator.

This book is a memoir, of Mailhot's experience an an indigenous Canadian with childhood abuse, mental illness, hospitalization, motherhood, her relationship with a white man, and the experience of being accepted to and studying at the Institute for American Indian Arts in New Mexico. The last section of this book was a Q&A, and since I was listening I was a little confused. But I wish that section had been first, as for me, it filled in so much about her life. (Was she severely mentally ill or suffering from PTSD from the abuse she suffered during childhood? Did her time in New Mexico bring her closer to her own culture, her own art, and did the experience of meeting other indigenous people from around North America help in her own healing?)

[readergirliz · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

I had a hard time with this book. The content did not bother me, though it was a rough read (trigger warnings for abuse of all varieties). I also appreciated a book that explored the hardships and stigma of being an Indian woman and having mental health problems. I think that Mailhot's word choices were often beautiful, but the writing often felt disjointed to me. Perhaps she wanted to convey how she felt from day to day in this way, but she seemed to skip from one harrowing story to another almost randomly. It made this very short book feel long, but not in a good way.

[linyarai · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

This was a very intense and honest portrayal of grief, loss, and mental illness.

[obtusata · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This is a beautiful and powerful memoir in essays. So much of it is heart wrenching, and yet it exudes the authors strength and perseverance.

[bonnielymer · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

A coming of age memoir of an indigenous woman in British Columbia.

[brangwinn · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I’ve never read a memoir like this. The author grew up in an abusive and dysfunctional family on a Native American reservation. The story may be short, but don’t count on finishing it quickly. There’s lots to think about and reread. The essays can be disturbing but bring insight into how women are treated and how they can work to heal themselves.

[richardderus · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Rating: 6* of five

Shattering. Beautiful. Agonizing. Necessary.

I will never, ever read this book again. I'm glad I borrowed it from the library so it will not be in my home. This isn't a story I want to have exerting its metaphysical gravity on me while I'm sleeping.

[quondame · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

A memoir of moving through madness and it's roots by a Native American woman. Not at all an easy read, and possibly containing some triggers, certainly I had to keep my own emotional history from raveling my attention from each sentence as it sliced into me during the first two sections. Then I had to wonder what sort of man left messages on his computer and phone to be found by the lover (he implied) he wanted to keep. Perhaps I was distracting myself from the real pain on the page. Not a feel good life with those close to nature yarn.

[romonko · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

This is a very difficult book to read and even more difficult to critique. Terese explains that she was a young girl growing up in a severely dysfunctional family. Her home was located on the Seabird Island Indian Reservation in the Pacific Northwest. Her childhood experiences caused her profound pain, and she found herself as a young woman in a mental institution with bipolar disease and PTSD. Her quest to find herself leads her on a panful journey of remembrance. /She has now found herself a place in the world as a mother, wife, educator and author. The language in the book is absolutely beautiful, and even with the dreadful subject matter, quite poetic. But I found that there was a lot of jumping around in time, so I found it difficult to get to the heart of the matter. The book probably realistically portrays her bumpy ride as she tries to deal with all of her issues, and that maya explain the dichotomy, but it was still difficult for me to follow the timeline. It is very difficult to read about Terese's struggles to find herself and finally come to a place where she can acknowledge and accept all the horrors of her life, and then build from there to finally discover the real Terese buried under all the memories.

[flying_monkeys_1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

"Memoir, for me, functions as something vulnerable in a sea of posturing." (from the Afterword)

Finding one's truth and taking ownership and authorship of one's story are life-changing! In recent memory I cannot think of a book, fiction or non-fiction, which illustrates this power as deeply or as profoundly as Mailhot's memoir. She bravely reveals her journey in all its horror and beauty. I've said it many times, but I have great respect for women who have the guts to open themselves up so fully to a public that has not exactly proven warm and receptive.

"As an Indian woman, I resist the urge to bleed out on a page, to impart the story of my drunken father. It was dangerous to be alone with him, as it was dangerous to forgive, as it was dangerous to say he was a monster. If he were a monster, that would make me part monster, part Indian. It is my politic to write the humanity in my characters, and subvert the stereotypes. Isn't that my duty as an Indian writer? But what part of him was subversion?"

The language she uses is... I cannot find the perfect word at the moment.

"I know the limit of what I can contain in each day. Each child, woman, and man should know a limit of containment. Nobody should be asked to hold more."

An essential read for Indigenous women, yet I would recommend this to everyone, especially those with trauma in their past -- or those who aren't the picture of pristine mental health. Not that a white woman could ever walk in the same shoes as an Indigenous woman, but because there are parallels between the experiences in coming of age, mental illness, broken hearts, deep-rooted parental scars, and what it takes to begin healing.

5 stars
(I love that her author photograph was credited to her son, Isaiah.)

"Love is tactile learning, always, first and foremost."

"I don't feel liberated from the governing presence of tragedy. The way in which people frame our work, and the way our work exists, or is canonized--we are not liberated from injustice; we're anchored to it. It feels inescapable and part of the zeitgeist of Indian in the twenty-first century, or every century since they came, which doesn't limit me, or us, but limits the way we are seen and spoken about. It's unfortunate, and real to me." (from the Afterword)

[kglattstein · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Heart wrenching. I listened to the book and was drawn into the author's lyrical storytelling as well as story. As I heard more of her story I was sometimes lost in her remembrances versus timeline of events. She plugged at my heart, but I found that the connection of her circumstances and her past more difficult to follow through the end.

[villemezbrown · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

I like how the author puts words together. It's very poetic at times. Unfortunately, I'm not a big fan of poetry as it tends to be vague and obtuse, much like this memoir. I'm detail oriented and found myself frustrated by all the unanswered questions I have.

Also, the author goes on and on about her heartbreak and bad relationships to such a degree that at a certain point in the book it just started to feel to me like nonstop whining. By the time she was ready to share about other aspects of her life, I was already detaching from the work.

In the end, I still find value in reading about a perspective so different from my own and admire Mailhot's abilities as a wordsmith

[mm_jones · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

A therapeutic memoir by a Pacific Northwest Native. She writes of her dysfunctional upbringing and her suicidal thoughts. I did not appreciate the book as I was unable to relate to her heritage or her mental illness.

[kaylaraeintheway · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I heard buzz about this memoir for weeks before it was actually published, and I'm glad to say that it definitely lived up to the hype! Such a powerful and unflinching memoir from a great new voice in Native American literature.

[hikatie · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This book cracked me open - it's such a bravely, beautifully, precisely written story of working through trauma and being a child and a mother and Native woman.

[muddyboy · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

The emotionally charged memoir of a young Native American woman growing up on a dysfunctional family and later with abusive relationships with men (one that she just can;t seem to get over). This book is very well written and she doesn't rail against the abusive people in her life. Through it all a couple of mentors help her overcome these traumas leading ultimately her back to her Native American heritage and a Doctoral Fellowship in creative writing at Purdue University. This book will pull on your heart without being sappy or maudlin. Short book with a whole lot of meaning.

[ecataldi-1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This was one of the most brutal, heartfelt, unabashed, memoirs I've ever read. Mailhot rips out her heart for the reader to see and holds nothing back. From her insecurities about being a mother to abuse she had buried as a child to her unwise relationships to growing up native; she bares her entire soul. She manages to convey these truths about her life in the most succinct, powerful way. Not one word is wasted in this memoir. While listening to this I was struck by the beauty of her prose.

“I think self-esteem is a white invention to further separate one person from another. It asks people to assess their values and implies people have worth. It seems like identity capitalism.”

“I felt breathless, like every question was a step up a stairway.”

I listened to this short memoir, but now I want to read it; I want my eyes to eat up her words. Her prose is transcendent. Mailhot, hasn't exactly had the easiest of lives, but she is able to convey the beauty in her struggles and challenges. What a writer. I cannot wait to read more from her. I am ready for the Indigenous Renaissance.

[caanderson-1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

It’s hard to put into words how wonderful and tragic this book is. I enjoyed the story telling then pausing to feel the pain of the story.

[allison_krajewski-1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

“It’s an Indian condition to be proud of survival but reluctant to call it resilience. Resilience seems ascribed to a human conditioning in white people.”

Terese Marie Mailhot’s Heart Berries was small, but it packed an emotional punch. In her memoir, Mailhot doesn’t hold anything back as she presents her life about everything from her dysfunctional upbringing to her stay in a mental hospital, from the birth of her son to her relationship with his father, from the pain of her present and how memory is affected by the past.

Heart Berries was told in a fragmented, stream-of-conscious style series of essays. I did have a little trouble getting into the writing style, but once I fell into a rhythm, it was easier to follow Mailhot’s voice and thoughts.

Mailhot is an interesting woman who has been through so much. This is one memoir that I can see myself reading again and again – and getting something new out of it each time.

Thank you to LibraryThing and Tantor Audio for a copy of this audiobook in exchange for an honest review!

[streamsong_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

In the interview at the end of the book Terese Mari Mailhot says that she started out to write the story of a woman so wounded that all she can do is wound others. And then she realized she was writing her own story, and this memoir evolved.

Her subject is bleak – physical and sexual abuse, alcoholism, mental illness, growing up on a reservation in Southwest Canada with little hope of change; longing to have someone take care of her and the subsequent abandonments.

Her honesty wrapped in beautifully crafted sentences is searing.

This is her first book. I'll certainly be looking for more from this author.

I received a copy of the audiobook through the LibraryThing Early Reviewer Program. To me, this is a book that would be better to be read as a print copy.

First, reading this in print would have given me the chance to savor the words.

Second, the reader's intonation was consistently one of wounded anger, with little variation of tone. While this may well be the perfect tone for the author's thoughts, four hours of it becomes overly long.

[jsheilas · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Heart Berries stands uniquely on its own as a memoir—fragmented, poetic, deeply personal, and highly aware of the ways it follows and defies convention. Mailhot is unafraid to own up to her mistakes and the legacy of pain she has inherited as a Native American woman who has lived with a traumatic childhood, mental illness, and abusive relationships. Though not an uplifting read, it’s bittersweet to follow Mailhot as she finds her voice and makes sense of the experiences and identities that have shaped her life. Mailhot writes poetically of the pain of loss, abuse, heartbreak, and healing with originality and introspection. I listened to the audiobook and would recommend reading the book; there are some lines that I wanted to repeat or process more slowly.

[dknight0918 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Very interesting memoir told through essays. Beautiful, poetic, truthful, heart wrenching writing. I received an mp3 cd from Librarything in exchange for my honest review.. Hope to see many more books from her. We need to hear more from strong females like her who tell it like it is about things like PTSD, anxiety, molestation, abuse, etc. She tackles the hard subjects.

[lostinalibrary · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Heart Berries: A Memoir by author Terese Marie Mailhot is a very short book that packs a very powerful punch. It is a tale of love, loss, grief, abuse, addiction, and mental illness. It is her own story told in beautiful prose and brutal honesty but she also makes it clear that it is not dissimilar to the stories of other First Nations women:

Native women walk alone from the dances of our youth into homes they don’t know for the chance to be away’

The memoir, like the life she is describing, frequently seems confusing and chaotic. Written in a non-linear manner, she often leaves holes in the narrative only to later show that these holes were not just holes in the narrative but in her memory, memories she finally recovers with the aid of psychotherapy, medication, and almost cruel self-examination. But this chaos, rather than weakening the story, make it that much more powerful. She reveals how much she has survived and, in the end, how far she has come but there is no sense of relief or closure, not for her and not for First Nations.

Heart Berries is a book almost lyrical in its prose, at times beautiful, elegant, raw, poignant, angry, and insightful. I would be lying if I said it was an easy read but it is an important one. A definite high recommendation from me.

Thanks to Edelweiss+ and Counterpoint for the opportunity to read this book in exchange for an honest review